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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 508890" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs))))) I am glad there is some movement and it was NOT for a court order to send him to another placement like GH.</p><p></p><p>Let them write their idiot contracts. AGREE to them - BOTH OF YOU. Do whatever they want, be sweet and compliant and bribe them with cookies. NO MATTER WHAT they ask, your response is, "Well, I don't know what the options are. What would you suggest?" while you are meeting to set up whatever services they will offer or pretend to offer. </p><p></p><p>I KNOW that this is about as foreign a response as you can think of, and probably you think you would need to have your head spinning and pea soup spewing to say it. There is a method to my madness.</p><p></p><p>This guy is acting nice. We all know he is a control freak loony. BUT he is acting nice. Now is the time for YOU to ACT. Think of the PO meetings as plays that you will either get a Tony for or you will get beaten up for. Well, not so much a Tony cause he is Janet's, but your difficult child anyway. Defer to him, ask him which options he things would help the most. Don't go all sweet southerne belle wthout a brain, but do pour the sugar on. Cookies are a great way to soften someone up and to "apologize" for any past misunderstandings. You don't have to SAY they are for past anything, and I actually wouldn't unless HE pushes. I would jsut take them and say, "I thought you might enjoy these" or "I thought the entire office might enjoy sharing these with you."</p><p></p><p>You want this guy to let difficult child go. You want him to stop messing around and being a dipwad. You are VERY limited in your choices. So choose to flatter and not upset him. Yes, it puts decades of equal rights back in some people's minds. In mine? It proves feminine power because we CAN take a new direction and handle thigns differently and this confuses lots of guys and gets them to HELP difficult child and you. </p><p></p><p>This isn't about the contracts being stupid. in my opinion all behavior contracts with teens are. PCs will be more likely to follow them, but largely they get ignored. Wth difficult children they become challenges. So, you and difficult child already know the stupid contract won't do anything. So agree, sign it and MOVE ON to helpful things. Keep your focus on getting difficult child home and help and then use their game Occupational Therapist (OT) beat them. I know you don't want to and that I have suggested this before.</p><p></p><p>I am NOT saying don't fle complaints. I am NOT saying get rid of the atty. I am saying to play the game when you are with them and do what is needed to get it over with AS you get those complaints ready.</p><p></p><p>Just mho, and while I think this might help, I understand if you can't or don't want to.</p><p></p><p> just want him home with you with a more easy child outlook on life. Sooo Much. Tell him that his board auntie thinks of him and prays for him every day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 508890, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) I am glad there is some movement and it was NOT for a court order to send him to another placement like GH. Let them write their idiot contracts. AGREE to them - BOTH OF YOU. Do whatever they want, be sweet and compliant and bribe them with cookies. NO MATTER WHAT they ask, your response is, "Well, I don't know what the options are. What would you suggest?" while you are meeting to set up whatever services they will offer or pretend to offer. I KNOW that this is about as foreign a response as you can think of, and probably you think you would need to have your head spinning and pea soup spewing to say it. There is a method to my madness. This guy is acting nice. We all know he is a control freak loony. BUT he is acting nice. Now is the time for YOU to ACT. Think of the PO meetings as plays that you will either get a Tony for or you will get beaten up for. Well, not so much a Tony cause he is Janet's, but your difficult child anyway. Defer to him, ask him which options he things would help the most. Don't go all sweet southerne belle wthout a brain, but do pour the sugar on. Cookies are a great way to soften someone up and to "apologize" for any past misunderstandings. You don't have to SAY they are for past anything, and I actually wouldn't unless HE pushes. I would jsut take them and say, "I thought you might enjoy these" or "I thought the entire office might enjoy sharing these with you." You want this guy to let difficult child go. You want him to stop messing around and being a dipwad. You are VERY limited in your choices. So choose to flatter and not upset him. Yes, it puts decades of equal rights back in some people's minds. In mine? It proves feminine power because we CAN take a new direction and handle thigns differently and this confuses lots of guys and gets them to HELP difficult child and you. This isn't about the contracts being stupid. in my opinion all behavior contracts with teens are. PCs will be more likely to follow them, but largely they get ignored. Wth difficult children they become challenges. So, you and difficult child already know the stupid contract won't do anything. So agree, sign it and MOVE ON to helpful things. Keep your focus on getting difficult child home and help and then use their game Occupational Therapist (OT) beat them. I know you don't want to and that I have suggested this before. I am NOT saying don't fle complaints. I am NOT saying get rid of the atty. I am saying to play the game when you are with them and do what is needed to get it over with AS you get those complaints ready. Just mho, and while I think this might help, I understand if you can't or don't want to. just want him home with you with a more easy child outlook on life. Sooo Much. Tell him that his board auntie thinks of him and prays for him every day. [/QUOTE]
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