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And then I asked him to stop calling me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 620011" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Seeing them as grown men instead of precious chubby babies in all of their pictures all over our houses...that is another step we have to take on this journey. When we see that, instead of the men (yes, men!! at least chronologically) they are, we are NOT seeing clearly. We are not looking at what is. </p><p></p><p>When we are in a weaker state, for whatever reason, tired, sad, scared, too cold outside, whatever, we revert back to our old ways. Habit. </p><p></p><p>When we have our stuff together and have had a better night's sleep, and the sun is shining, and one or two other things are going well, we can dig deep and look hard at reality. We are then ready for change. It takes a lot of resources to change, and we can't expect ourselves to be taking steps forward every single day. We have to rest in our change for a while, then we can be ready to move forward again. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, that is so, so, soooooooo hard. It goes again our mommy hearts. It goes against our DNA.</p><p></p><p>I am thinking seriously of not being here Friday night, Echo. I have been reading that idea from several and today it came to me that that idea is a real possiblity and something to consider. I called my older son who will be here and suggested he stay somewhere else---gave him a couple of ideas. </p><p></p><p>I will put my son's things out on the front porch, along with a blanket, and I will not be here. Dealing with it all in the clear light of day---if necessary---on Saturday will be vastly preferable. Much better for me.</p><p></p><p>Just moving toward that idea, I am feeling even more relief and the rightness of it. I would never have thought of it without this site. I would have thought I HAVE to be here and I would just have to take the hit.</p><p></p><p>Well, I don't HAVE to take the hit, Echo. I can protect myself. You don't have to take the hit. You can protect yourself. </p><p></p><p>That is what we are doing, and that is very healthy behavior.</p><p></p><p>Yay us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 620011, member: 17542"] Seeing them as grown men instead of precious chubby babies in all of their pictures all over our houses...that is another step we have to take on this journey. When we see that, instead of the men (yes, men!! at least chronologically) they are, we are NOT seeing clearly. We are not looking at what is. When we are in a weaker state, for whatever reason, tired, sad, scared, too cold outside, whatever, we revert back to our old ways. Habit. When we have our stuff together and have had a better night's sleep, and the sun is shining, and one or two other things are going well, we can dig deep and look hard at reality. We are then ready for change. It takes a lot of resources to change, and we can't expect ourselves to be taking steps forward every single day. We have to rest in our change for a while, then we can be ready to move forward again. Yes, that is so, so, soooooooo hard. It goes again our mommy hearts. It goes against our DNA. I am thinking seriously of not being here Friday night, Echo. I have been reading that idea from several and today it came to me that that idea is a real possiblity and something to consider. I called my older son who will be here and suggested he stay somewhere else---gave him a couple of ideas. I will put my son's things out on the front porch, along with a blanket, and I will not be here. Dealing with it all in the clear light of day---if necessary---on Saturday will be vastly preferable. Much better for me. Just moving toward that idea, I am feeling even more relief and the rightness of it. I would never have thought of it without this site. I would have thought I HAVE to be here and I would just have to take the hit. Well, I don't HAVE to take the hit, Echo. I can protect myself. You don't have to take the hit. You can protect yourself. That is what we are doing, and that is very healthy behavior. Yay us! [/QUOTE]
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And then I asked him to stop calling me.
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