And why would we be concerned with a deadline?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Sep 22, 2009.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Ugh! I am so frustrated with difficult child! He was given an assignment in Social Studies that had to do with making a map. It was due yesterday.

    He did not know how to do the scale so I told him to ask the teacher for advise. But no, he gets advise from a fellow student (I hope that kid was right because that would have been my advise). Fine, whatever, but just do the map and get it handed in.

    I asked him tonight, "Did you hand in the map?" "No, I can't because I am not done with it." "It was due yesterday, did you talk to the teacher about why it has not been handed in?" "No, it doesn't matter, I can hand it in when I am done with it." O.K., so why is there a deadline?

    So, I e-mailed the teacher and asked him to please explain the importance of a deadline and communicating to the person who gave the deadline if it will not be met. I hope he can get difficult child to understand the importance of talking to a teacher when he knows something will be late. He usually does pay attention to deadlines so I am puzzled about why this is so different. Hopefully it is because he thinks he is expempt of all deadlines set last week because he missed 4 days of school? I am more concerned that he did not talk to the teacher than I am about it being late.

    I don't think this assignment will be figured into a final grade but it does look like a good lesson to be had for honoring deadlines!
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    It is so tough to get our kids, especially our difficult child boys, to ask their teachers a question!! difficult child had "Poem" written in his agenda in English last week. I asked him what that meant. He had no idea. Why did you write it down? Because it was on the board. Hello!!!! If you don't know what the assignment is ask!

    Seems like such a simple thing. When our kids get to be our son's ages, we kinda have to let them pay some negative consequences in order for them to learn. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't!

    Perhaps the teacher will address the issue with your son personally.

  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I SOOO hear you. My difficult child just brought home an interim report with three (yes THREE!) failing grades on it already. It seems that she has not been doing any homework, projects or labs. When questioned, her response was that you don't need to do the work to pass the class....

    But, with three F's--it seems like you DO, in fact need to do the work.

    Why do these kids always assume that the rules don't apply to them?

    Does your son really have unlimited time in which to turn in the map project? Or is that just his interpretation?

  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thank you!

    My difficult child and Diva both have always avoided asking other adults for help in anything.

    I am sure the assignment said due Monday.

    difficult child said teacher talked to him today and sounded like the teacher did not agree with me about difficult child taking the issue of being late to him. Ugh. difficult child said, "Teacher knew I was late". But how, besides not receiving it? Did you tell him why?

    Guess I have done all I can do short of taking him by the hand and marching him into each class and making him hand in the homework and we all know that would not be a good idea. So, I need to just keep quiet and let him do as he wants (after the appropriate amount of nagging. LOL! Can only nag a few times and then have to drop the attempt. I think that is the problem! I am really not good at nagging!).

    I think he thought he had unlimited time because of being gone last week. However, I am sure that Monday was HIS deadline for something other kids had to turn in last week. He had more than enough time to complete it. He got a start on it in the hospital doing the most time consuming part of the work and it was a very easy assignment.

    I know my Diva believed that the grades were only made up of the tests and quizzes. She just couldn't understand that homework assignments made up a large part of the grade. To her, it doesn't matter how you get there, if you can answer the tests and quizzes correctly, you should be able to pass the class. I must be a difficult child at heart because I do understand where she is coming from. However, as a mom with kids who don't always do well on tests and quizzes, it is good to know that the homework will help keep the grade.
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    Manster would rather die than admit he needed help or didn't understand something; too much anxiety for him.

    I am having a hard time so far, four weeks into 5th grade. We are in for a bumpy ride!
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore is also anti-deadline. He has 2 BIG projects one due Oct 6 and the other Oct 13 -- both are worth significant portions of his grade. He is mad that I am trying to get him to work on them now instead of Oct 5th and Oct 12th. He seems to lack comprehension that "big projects" take more than one night.

    I'm hoping to force the issue this weekend and get them both done. I think once he sees how good it feels to have them done and realize that he doesn't have to stress about them that he will be more willing next time.