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Angel's in crisis - I'm scared
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 528138" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so very very sorry you are dealing wth this. Sadly, given the laws in your state you have few choices. I know you worry about her but you really are going to have to let her handle this. It hoovers, but it is reality.</p><p></p><p>Depending on what you want to do, I would be super tempted to make HER weigh everything and deal with everything (and if she doesn't clean the tub if she goes in there you put the chunks on her bed NOT in a container= gross but HER lesson to learn.) and if she gets to the point of 911/serious danger, then you go to the court and file for guardianship as she is incompetent to take care of herself. Don't know f you would win, but it might scare her enough to make her responsible for herself. Don't threaten this or even mention it to ANYONE unless you will follow through all the way. Don't let ehr talk you out of it is you decide to tell her you are doing this.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the ONLY way a person iwll learn is through horrible pain. If she won't go to the ER/hospital, then she has to sit in the pain. I woudl do NOTHING to make her comfortable. Not hot rice bags, not cleaning up after her (and if I did my kids know they would regret it at that age unless they were not capable of cleaining it, which they were by age ten), not sympathizing or even letting her pick what tv show to watch. </p><p></p><p>This truly is something you are powerless over. Since she has the power, she has the responsibility. ALL of it, including the clean up (and her phone, computer, anything electronic, makeup, money, etc... would be gone until it was cleaned up properly). Part of this is because she is basically an adult and that is part of being an adult - cleaning up your mess. So having mom make it easier isn't helping her. Helps you because she doesn't have so many meltdowns, but honestly you cannot control when an infant or toddler poops, so you sure cannot control when a 17yo does.</p><p></p><p>If you want to go from the other end, I have a suggestion. A few years back my daughter suddenly got excruciating pain and the docs thought many things, incl twisted ovary. Finally after ultrasounds and an MRI that showed nothing, they took an xray and saw a huge backup that had gone to blockage. Nothing that went in by mouth did anything, including that big gallon of stuff given before a colonoscopy. After ten days of this horrible pain, the pediatrician put her into the hospital and did a milk and molasses enema. One jar of molasses (I think 12 oz or whatever the standard size is) warmed up, then that jar filled iwth whole milk (what the hospital had, I don't know if skim or 2% would work) warmed up, mixed together and given as an enema in small amounts as she could tolerate it. She would go, get more of the enema, wait, go and around and around we went. By morning she was cleaned out and felt MUCH better. We had tried OTC enemas and some rx ones and NONE did anything at all.</p><p></p><p>there is also an injectable medicine called relistor. I had an rx for this bc I am a pain mgmt patient and after one medicine change my body just stopped going at all. Relistor is a shot you give yourself - very easy to do - and it causes you to go. BIG TIME GO. It is very dramatic when it starts - you pretty much need to be close to a bathroom when you do the shot and stay there because in about five min it is coming out. I had bad cramping iwth it, but that is just how it is when you are that backed up. I think it may also be availible in pill form but I don't know. I know it is often used for opiate related constipation, but I also know people who are not on opiates hwo have had excellent results with it helping.</p><p></p><p>Of course this will do NOTHING good if it is a true blockage, but if it is more constipation that can't move for some reason, then it mght help. Would be worth asking a doctor about for use maybe every week if she hasn't had a poop? Just to help prevent future blockages? </p><p></p><p>Anyway, right now the milk and molasses enema might be your best home remedy. It apparently was the home remedy of the mom of one of the really old docs around here, and the younger docs ALL use it for blockages before they go to medications because it is more gentle than most medications they would give and they get better results with less cramping.</p><p></p><p>I really am sorry she refused the ER. Hopefully if you can make this refusal as miserable as possible by not eltting her be pampered or get out of chres, etc... (cause if she is really sick then she needs to go to the ER, right?), then in the future seh won't take such stupid risks with her health and life by ignoring the GI dr's orders. I have lived this, and it is miserable, but it is the only way to get a long term solution. They will tell you that you don't love them or care about them. That is manipulation. Reality is that you do, and you are being tough BECAUSE you love them and watn they to feel enough pain to learn not to do this again and to follow the dr's advice/instructions when given.</p><p></p><p>I really hope this am finds you with a difficult child in the hospital getting the help she needs and with-o her having harmed herself by allowing her bowels to rupture. WHY do they think 17yos are capable of sound medical decisions? I am glad I don't live where you do. My kids would need a judge to say they could refuse - for EACH decision. But the 2 I have at home are PCs, so probably this won't be a problem. they hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 528138, member: 1233"] I am so very very sorry you are dealing wth this. Sadly, given the laws in your state you have few choices. I know you worry about her but you really are going to have to let her handle this. It hoovers, but it is reality. Depending on what you want to do, I would be super tempted to make HER weigh everything and deal with everything (and if she doesn't clean the tub if she goes in there you put the chunks on her bed NOT in a container= gross but HER lesson to learn.) and if she gets to the point of 911/serious danger, then you go to the court and file for guardianship as she is incompetent to take care of herself. Don't know f you would win, but it might scare her enough to make her responsible for herself. Don't threaten this or even mention it to ANYONE unless you will follow through all the way. Don't let ehr talk you out of it is you decide to tell her you are doing this. Sometimes the ONLY way a person iwll learn is through horrible pain. If she won't go to the ER/hospital, then she has to sit in the pain. I woudl do NOTHING to make her comfortable. Not hot rice bags, not cleaning up after her (and if I did my kids know they would regret it at that age unless they were not capable of cleaining it, which they were by age ten), not sympathizing or even letting her pick what tv show to watch. This truly is something you are powerless over. Since she has the power, she has the responsibility. ALL of it, including the clean up (and her phone, computer, anything electronic, makeup, money, etc... would be gone until it was cleaned up properly). Part of this is because she is basically an adult and that is part of being an adult - cleaning up your mess. So having mom make it easier isn't helping her. Helps you because she doesn't have so many meltdowns, but honestly you cannot control when an infant or toddler poops, so you sure cannot control when a 17yo does. If you want to go from the other end, I have a suggestion. A few years back my daughter suddenly got excruciating pain and the docs thought many things, incl twisted ovary. Finally after ultrasounds and an MRI that showed nothing, they took an xray and saw a huge backup that had gone to blockage. Nothing that went in by mouth did anything, including that big gallon of stuff given before a colonoscopy. After ten days of this horrible pain, the pediatrician put her into the hospital and did a milk and molasses enema. One jar of molasses (I think 12 oz or whatever the standard size is) warmed up, then that jar filled iwth whole milk (what the hospital had, I don't know if skim or 2% would work) warmed up, mixed together and given as an enema in small amounts as she could tolerate it. She would go, get more of the enema, wait, go and around and around we went. By morning she was cleaned out and felt MUCH better. We had tried OTC enemas and some rx ones and NONE did anything at all. there is also an injectable medicine called relistor. I had an rx for this bc I am a pain mgmt patient and after one medicine change my body just stopped going at all. Relistor is a shot you give yourself - very easy to do - and it causes you to go. BIG TIME GO. It is very dramatic when it starts - you pretty much need to be close to a bathroom when you do the shot and stay there because in about five min it is coming out. I had bad cramping iwth it, but that is just how it is when you are that backed up. I think it may also be availible in pill form but I don't know. I know it is often used for opiate related constipation, but I also know people who are not on opiates hwo have had excellent results with it helping. Of course this will do NOTHING good if it is a true blockage, but if it is more constipation that can't move for some reason, then it mght help. Would be worth asking a doctor about for use maybe every week if she hasn't had a poop? Just to help prevent future blockages? Anyway, right now the milk and molasses enema might be your best home remedy. It apparently was the home remedy of the mom of one of the really old docs around here, and the younger docs ALL use it for blockages before they go to medications because it is more gentle than most medications they would give and they get better results with less cramping. I really am sorry she refused the ER. Hopefully if you can make this refusal as miserable as possible by not eltting her be pampered or get out of chres, etc... (cause if she is really sick then she needs to go to the ER, right?), then in the future seh won't take such stupid risks with her health and life by ignoring the GI dr's orders. I have lived this, and it is miserable, but it is the only way to get a long term solution. They will tell you that you don't love them or care about them. That is manipulation. Reality is that you do, and you are being tough BECAUSE you love them and watn they to feel enough pain to learn not to do this again and to follow the dr's advice/instructions when given. I really hope this am finds you with a difficult child in the hospital getting the help she needs and with-o her having harmed herself by allowing her bowels to rupture. WHY do they think 17yos are capable of sound medical decisions? I am glad I don't live where you do. My kids would need a judge to say they could refuse - for EACH decision. But the 2 I have at home are PCs, so probably this won't be a problem. they hope. [/QUOTE]
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