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Angry adolescent easy child's with older difficult child sibs
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 278218" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I absolutely agree with Suz. You and ex need to sit down with kids and have ex tell them that wherever they live they will respect both parents. No kid should decide based on adolescent hormones and attitude. In addition a discussion with ex regarding plans for the summer. He has to put his foot down in the same foot print you put down. She has to have some structure to her day and some supervision. 13 is way too dangerous an age to leave her unsupervised. </p><p></p><p>I think our easy child's do harbor a lot of resentment about our difficult children. My sweet easy child turned into a raging stubborn teen in a matter of days. He has legitimate reason. Most of our energy was spent on difficult child. </p><p>easy child had to hear a lot from me about carrying a chip and to look around at the good stuff in his life. I basically told him to get over himself. In addition I did make a point of focusing on him. He obviously needed more than I was giving him. I doubt easy child will ever forget the chaos difficult child brought to his life but life doesn't dish things out fair and he had to wake up and look at his blessings. </p><p></p><p>The dump she calls your house makes you feel guilty and nothing is ever gained when you talk to them with guilt hanging over you. You are doing the best you can and if you can do better then do it. In addition what is easy child doing to improve her situation? If she is part of the problem then she should be part of the solution. </p><p></p><p>Of course, reasonably nothing gets through a 13yr olds head but this is the time to teach. She won't admit to hearing any of it until she is 20 or older but you have to pour lots of life lessons in while you can. None of what I said holds up when it's a difficult child you are dealing with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 278218, member: 3"] I absolutely agree with Suz. You and ex need to sit down with kids and have ex tell them that wherever they live they will respect both parents. No kid should decide based on adolescent hormones and attitude. In addition a discussion with ex regarding plans for the summer. He has to put his foot down in the same foot print you put down. She has to have some structure to her day and some supervision. 13 is way too dangerous an age to leave her unsupervised. I think our easy child's do harbor a lot of resentment about our difficult children. My sweet easy child turned into a raging stubborn teen in a matter of days. He has legitimate reason. Most of our energy was spent on difficult child. easy child had to hear a lot from me about carrying a chip and to look around at the good stuff in his life. I basically told him to get over himself. In addition I did make a point of focusing on him. He obviously needed more than I was giving him. I doubt easy child will ever forget the chaos difficult child brought to his life but life doesn't dish things out fair and he had to wake up and look at his blessings. The dump she calls your house makes you feel guilty and nothing is ever gained when you talk to them with guilt hanging over you. You are doing the best you can and if you can do better then do it. In addition what is easy child doing to improve her situation? If she is part of the problem then she should be part of the solution. Of course, reasonably nothing gets through a 13yr olds head but this is the time to teach. She won't admit to hearing any of it until she is 20 or older but you have to pour lots of life lessons in while you can. None of what I said holds up when it's a difficult child you are dealing with. [/QUOTE]
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Angry adolescent easy child's with older difficult child sibs
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