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Another Adult Child, Emphasis on "child" AKA I Need This Baby Bird to Flap and Fly.
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 587208" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I apologize if I was unclear in my post. All of this has been swirling through my mind for so long that I finally decided to write it down. It must come across as a jumbled mess. To explain would have made my post much, much longer and it's long enough as it is. </p><p></p><p>Yes, my daughter has responsibilities. No, sometimes she does not do them. I will specifically ask her to do a few things around the house and come home to nothing done. I usually get a "I was so tired from working" or a "I'm upset about ________________." She works part time, mind you. Often, she will hurry and do them right before I get home and be in the middle if I get home a little early. I think part of the problem is that I have been in school carrying a full load pursuing a dream along working full time . Plus, I still have a minor difficult child at home with all his issues. I just didn't have the energy to deal with her and I kept hoping that she would mature. However, it seems she's more child-like than four years ago. I suppose I should known better. Now that I'm about to graduate, my attention is now turning more and more to being unsatisfied with her behavior and fearful that she's still very much dependent on us.</p><p></p><p>She does not pay rent, but pays for her phone. She is not allowed to use my car but for going back and forth to work and I know the hours she works. Not paying rent was meant for her to save for a car. Again, it's near impossible to have a rational discussion with her as she becomes quite defensive. The other thing she throws at me is, "Well, at least I'm not pregnant". She also indignant that I would even consider asking her to leave for "chores and school". Yet, I know I'm hurting her at this point. Our relationship is almost nonexistent, which saddens me. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for responding, it's difficult for me to see clearly. Writing this is my way to trying to be more objective. She's my child and of course I'm afraid of her being alone on the streets. She's never really been out of control or wild. She doesn't have the street smarts like so many difficult children. On the other hand, the situation cannot continue. </p><p></p><p>Thank you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 587208, member: 831"] I apologize if I was unclear in my post. All of this has been swirling through my mind for so long that I finally decided to write it down. It must come across as a jumbled mess. To explain would have made my post much, much longer and it's long enough as it is. Yes, my daughter has responsibilities. No, sometimes she does not do them. I will specifically ask her to do a few things around the house and come home to nothing done. I usually get a "I was so tired from working" or a "I'm upset about ________________." She works part time, mind you. Often, she will hurry and do them right before I get home and be in the middle if I get home a little early. I think part of the problem is that I have been in school carrying a full load pursuing a dream along working full time . Plus, I still have a minor difficult child at home with all his issues. I just didn't have the energy to deal with her and I kept hoping that she would mature. However, it seems she's more child-like than four years ago. I suppose I should known better. Now that I'm about to graduate, my attention is now turning more and more to being unsatisfied with her behavior and fearful that she's still very much dependent on us. She does not pay rent, but pays for her phone. She is not allowed to use my car but for going back and forth to work and I know the hours she works. Not paying rent was meant for her to save for a car. Again, it's near impossible to have a rational discussion with her as she becomes quite defensive. The other thing she throws at me is, "Well, at least I'm not pregnant". She also indignant that I would even consider asking her to leave for "chores and school". Yet, I know I'm hurting her at this point. Our relationship is almost nonexistent, which saddens me. Thank you for responding, it's difficult for me to see clearly. Writing this is my way to trying to be more objective. She's my child and of course I'm afraid of her being alone on the streets. She's never really been out of control or wild. She doesn't have the street smarts like so many difficult children. On the other hand, the situation cannot continue. Thank you [/QUOTE]
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Another Adult Child, Emphasis on "child" AKA I Need This Baby Bird to Flap and Fly.
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