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Another episode with my son ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 291528"><p>Donna...</p><p>I'm so very sorry. I think GG has given you excellent advice.</p><p> </p><p>I recall my therapist and I having this "discussion." It is one that is a difficult topic to approach and also hard to grasp. I still struggle today.</p><p> </p><p>None of us can really change another person. People really need to want to change for themselves. They must want help and they must want change. They must want to do what they need to do to get better. We might really, really want it for them, but it must come from within them. And as mothers, it pains us because it is so very unfair and so horrible to watch. But, it is what it is. Our blood, sweat, tears, anguish, grief, hard work, will not change things. However, what our kids do for themselves...that can and will change things.</p><p> </p><p>Since your son has attempted suicide 2x, there is a nice chance that he has a very serious mental illness. Very difficult disappointments come to people, and this is not a typical way to chose to cope.</p><p> </p><p>Surely, medication and therapy can be benefical to your son. I do hope that he is getting good and helpful treatment. If he has any spiritual faith, this might be a great asset to him. See if you can find him any really good spiritual literature...also literature that might boost his self esteem. However, its his choice if he wants to read these things. Please encourage him to continue working...keep moving forward. Again...his choice.</p><p> </p><p>On your end, please re-read what GG has said. We talk a lot here about detachment. It is very freeing. You might do what you can when and where you can to provide him some assistance, but he has to do the work. You have to move forward with your life. It is hard to accept the losses here, but if there were another way, believe me, I would have found it and I would be telling you about it. I do hope that you will get the book that GG has suggested. I have found reading to be very helpful...so many have gone before us. Also, please google and read the Serenity Prayer. Keep posting to us...let us know how he is doing and all the good things you are doing to take your mind off of this hardship.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 291528"] Donna... I'm so very sorry. I think GG has given you excellent advice. I recall my therapist and I having this "discussion." It is one that is a difficult topic to approach and also hard to grasp. I still struggle today. None of us can really change another person. People really need to want to change for themselves. They must want help and they must want change. They must want to do what they need to do to get better. We might really, really want it for them, but it must come from within them. And as mothers, it pains us because it is so very unfair and so horrible to watch. But, it is what it is. Our blood, sweat, tears, anguish, grief, hard work, will not change things. However, what our kids do for themselves...that can and will change things. Since your son has attempted suicide 2x, there is a nice chance that he has a very serious mental illness. Very difficult disappointments come to people, and this is not a typical way to chose to cope. Surely, medication and therapy can be benefical to your son. I do hope that he is getting good and helpful treatment. If he has any spiritual faith, this might be a great asset to him. See if you can find him any really good spiritual literature...also literature that might boost his self esteem. However, its his choice if he wants to read these things. Please encourage him to continue working...keep moving forward. Again...his choice. On your end, please re-read what GG has said. We talk a lot here about detachment. It is very freeing. You might do what you can when and where you can to provide him some assistance, but he has to do the work. You have to move forward with your life. It is hard to accept the losses here, but if there were another way, believe me, I would have found it and I would be telling you about it. I do hope that you will get the book that GG has suggested. I have found reading to be very helpful...so many have gone before us. Also, please google and read the Serenity Prayer. Keep posting to us...let us know how he is doing and all the good things you are doing to take your mind off of this hardship. [/QUOTE]
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