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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739858" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Beta, Your description of your interaction with your son sounds very familiar to me... .as do the feelings you have about it. My son is also adopted and I think adoption issues add another layer to all the stuff we and they deal with. I too wonder about drugs.... my son has serious addiction issues and this kind of behavior is much worse when he is using than when he is not.</p><p></p><p>But really it smacks of pure manipulation to me. He wants something from you, to co-sign that loan. He probably first asked nicely and when that didn’t work he got nasty and tried guilty tripping you hoping that would work. I really wouldn’t believe anything he is saying because he is really trying to get you to do something he wants.... this is not an honest heart to heart talk he is having with you, this is him trying to manipulate you into doing something he wants.</p><p></p><p>So first take care of yourself in whatever way you can. I dont think there is anything wrong with continuing to text him now and then to see how he is doing and to keep the door open if that feels good to you.... but if it doesnt and you dont want to that is fine too. But if the manipulation and guilt tripping or abusive stuff starts then stop the conversation. Do not engage in any of that with him.</p><p></p><p>The main thing is to take care of yourself....</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739858, member: 15801"] Hi Beta, Your description of your interaction with your son sounds very familiar to me... .as do the feelings you have about it. My son is also adopted and I think adoption issues add another layer to all the stuff we and they deal with. I too wonder about drugs.... my son has serious addiction issues and this kind of behavior is much worse when he is using than when he is not. But really it smacks of pure manipulation to me. He wants something from you, to co-sign that loan. He probably first asked nicely and when that didn’t work he got nasty and tried guilty tripping you hoping that would work. I really wouldn’t believe anything he is saying because he is really trying to get you to do something he wants.... this is not an honest heart to heart talk he is having with you, this is him trying to manipulate you into doing something he wants. So first take care of yourself in whatever way you can. I dont think there is anything wrong with continuing to text him now and then to see how he is doing and to keep the door open if that feels good to you.... but if it doesnt and you dont want to that is fine too. But if the manipulation and guilt tripping or abusive stuff starts then stop the conversation. Do not engage in any of that with him. The main thing is to take care of yourself.... TL [/QUOTE]
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