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Another lock / If he only had a brain/vent
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 128060" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>That child that shared with you, that is the difficult child that i envision your son to be. He wants to belong. He wants to be proud of himself. He wants to love and be loved. He wants to be stable and not floating like a feather from one place to another.</p><p> </p><p>That child is much like my difficult child. He doesn't process things the way that most people process. He has a history that includes abuse and more importantly instability. He is not embraced by peers with respect. It is</p><p>blankin' sad.</p><p> </p><p>I do not have "the" answer, Star. I have had a very similar conversation</p><p>with difficult child however and this is what I told him...and what we have done.</p><p>I told difficult child that some people "have to take medication to get their body to</p><p>function normally", so medication was not up for discussion again. I made a committment that we would find THE best medications possible. We did. I told difficult child that each of us have to identify our weaknesses and then</p><p>find a way that works for us. His anger issues are addressed by kicking</p><p>and boxing in the backyard with a homemade bag. His anger issues are</p><p>helped by walking/running. His anger isssues are helped by using a word processor and writing out all his negative feelings and fears which he does NOT have to share but IS allowed to share with me. His anger</p><p>issues are addressed by seeing a counselor "even if the counselor seems</p><p>like an idiot" because someone outside of the family has to hear what you feel and help you sort through it.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child loves me and trusts that I have his best interests at heart. He knows that he MUST work with us to help him OR he can go live with his</p><p>Mom and find his own way in life. He is 17 and he stresses the heck out of me at least a few times a week BUT it is no longer daily. Truthfully he makes me nervous and sadly he knows that BUT..it is the best I can do.</p><p>I'm sure you will do the best you can do too. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 128060, member: 35"] That child that shared with you, that is the difficult child that i envision your son to be. He wants to belong. He wants to be proud of himself. He wants to love and be loved. He wants to be stable and not floating like a feather from one place to another. That child is much like my difficult child. He doesn't process things the way that most people process. He has a history that includes abuse and more importantly instability. He is not embraced by peers with respect. It is blankin' sad. I do not have "the" answer, Star. I have had a very similar conversation with difficult child however and this is what I told him...and what we have done. I told difficult child that some people "have to take medication to get their body to function normally", so medication was not up for discussion again. I made a committment that we would find THE best medications possible. We did. I told difficult child that each of us have to identify our weaknesses and then find a way that works for us. His anger issues are addressed by kicking and boxing in the backyard with a homemade bag. His anger issues are helped by walking/running. His anger isssues are helped by using a word processor and writing out all his negative feelings and fears which he does NOT have to share but IS allowed to share with me. His anger issues are addressed by seeing a counselor "even if the counselor seems like an idiot" because someone outside of the family has to hear what you feel and help you sort through it. My difficult child loves me and trusts that I have his best interests at heart. He knows that he MUST work with us to help him OR he can go live with his Mom and find his own way in life. He is 17 and he stresses the heck out of me at least a few times a week BUT it is no longer daily. Truthfully he makes me nervous and sadly he knows that BUT..it is the best I can do. I'm sure you will do the best you can do too. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Another lock / If he only had a brain/vent
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