Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another lock / If he only had a brain/vent
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 128102" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Witz, </p><p></p><p>I'm printing that out and sending it to his psychologist. He's probably the best in the state. He's for sure the best we've ever met in over 13 years. And he "gets" Dude - he's the first one who wasn't snowballed by his honeymoon phase - he is very blunt, with a sincere desire to help. </p><p></p><p>I checked with some other places about maybe finding some books regarding teens and anger - I'm going to try to order that book about the psycho next door - but honestly I think I could write my own book about life with my x and scare or sicken a lot of folks. </p><p></p><p>At this point in time - I feel like he's reaching out in a serious manner. He's not able to articulate the jumbled mess in his mind very well, so I tried to remember verbatim what he said. Like you read between the lines - there is a window opened (just a crack) and I don't want to do anything to shut it - I don't necessarily want to crawl in the window either - but I think in his own way he's asking what should I do? It's the first time he's ever done something like that - it's probably the most we've ever ever talked non-stop about him. He only gives you slivers - very hard to deal with and then shuts down. So I too feel there is an opportunity in there and want to make the most of it. </p><p></p><p>I checked with the caseworker - and they are still trying to find a placement for him that is close. I feel like I've at least won that battle. I know he can't live at home. Sadly I don't think he'll ever live at home again...we knew that when he went to the group home. And while I don't feel sorry for him - he was correct in stating that if you are a kid on the 'edge' and you don't have structure or the people who are supposed to be taking care of you (group home owners) don't do what they tell you they are going to do - you give up. And he says he didn't give up - he kept trying and just couldnt' get the help he was asking for there. I agreed. But I told him that regardless of where he is AT THAT MOMENT - he can choose to continue to try or give up. Cutting him no slacker slack. </p><p></p><p>I do feel that had the placement done what they told us ALL they would be doing /helping/assisting Dude with - he'd be in a better place mentally. Even he said their lack of consequences was a joke - come and go as you please - go to school - or not - give me gas money to get you to school - it was all a learning experience - if nothing else - he sees what life is like without structure - which is what they (teens) all beg for. Well he got it and it wasn't so great. No food, no clothes, no education - dead end. </p><p></p><p>I'm trying now to find books for teenagers on coping with anger and anger management ideas/tools to just put out there for him. After this revelation about waking up angry and being that way all day every day - it gives a better light into what he's feeling. I just wish he would have opened up like that at the psychiatric's. The written thing may be a door opener. </p><p></p><p>Thanks everyone for taking a read - or replying. Your words whether they agree with or not are appreciated - and so supportive - thanks again. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 128102, member: 4964"] Witz, I'm printing that out and sending it to his psychologist. He's probably the best in the state. He's for sure the best we've ever met in over 13 years. And he "gets" Dude - he's the first one who wasn't snowballed by his honeymoon phase - he is very blunt, with a sincere desire to help. I checked with some other places about maybe finding some books regarding teens and anger - I'm going to try to order that book about the psycho next door - but honestly I think I could write my own book about life with my x and scare or sicken a lot of folks. At this point in time - I feel like he's reaching out in a serious manner. He's not able to articulate the jumbled mess in his mind very well, so I tried to remember verbatim what he said. Like you read between the lines - there is a window opened (just a crack) and I don't want to do anything to shut it - I don't necessarily want to crawl in the window either - but I think in his own way he's asking what should I do? It's the first time he's ever done something like that - it's probably the most we've ever ever talked non-stop about him. He only gives you slivers - very hard to deal with and then shuts down. So I too feel there is an opportunity in there and want to make the most of it. I checked with the caseworker - and they are still trying to find a placement for him that is close. I feel like I've at least won that battle. I know he can't live at home. Sadly I don't think he'll ever live at home again...we knew that when he went to the group home. And while I don't feel sorry for him - he was correct in stating that if you are a kid on the 'edge' and you don't have structure or the people who are supposed to be taking care of you (group home owners) don't do what they tell you they are going to do - you give up. And he says he didn't give up - he kept trying and just couldnt' get the help he was asking for there. I agreed. But I told him that regardless of where he is AT THAT MOMENT - he can choose to continue to try or give up. Cutting him no slacker slack. I do feel that had the placement done what they told us ALL they would be doing /helping/assisting Dude with - he'd be in a better place mentally. Even he said their lack of consequences was a joke - come and go as you please - go to school - or not - give me gas money to get you to school - it was all a learning experience - if nothing else - he sees what life is like without structure - which is what they (teens) all beg for. Well he got it and it wasn't so great. No food, no clothes, no education - dead end. I'm trying now to find books for teenagers on coping with anger and anger management ideas/tools to just put out there for him. After this revelation about waking up angry and being that way all day every day - it gives a better light into what he's feeling. I just wish he would have opened up like that at the psychiatric's. The written thing may be a door opener. Thanks everyone for taking a read - or replying. Your words whether they agree with or not are appreciated - and so supportive - thanks again. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another lock / If he only had a brain/vent
Top