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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 368516" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Your brother and my mother could story swap. I have the same "no more contact please and thank you" with my mother. She too decides on her own whims when that doesn't mean anything to her and will just pick up the phone and call after long periods (drives me nuts). My phone rang a few days ago. I have call display (my favorite modern techno advancement these days). I saw the last name and thought it was my cousin, the only family member still holding my mothers maiden name. I guess she must have had her phone cut off for non payment and scammed a new phone line by using her maiden name. Regardless, I thought it was my cousin and answered with a cheery hello. Only to be greeted with my mother, acting as if it hadn't been ages since I have spoken to her and told her to stay away from me. She startled to prattle on about wanting to know if I wanted her cat. ???? It was truly strange. Yes I always adored her cat, hes beautiful and so full of personality. But to call me after all this time and try to give me her pet?? Weird, bizarre, just strange. I didn't answer her. Once I realized it was her on the phone, I said not one word. I merely hung up.</p><p></p><p>A few months ago she had popped up like this, after months of honoring my no contact thing. I got so annoyed with the phone ringing endlessly since I wasn't answering. She just kept calling and calling and calling. So I hit the talk button, then hit the end button. Didn't even put it to my ear. She did this a few more times, 3-4 maybe. Each time got the same response. I wasn't goign to have her calling endlessly when she knew I wasn't answering because I knew it was her calling and want no contact. I plan to do the same again if she tries to call, now that I know her new phone number and the name that will show up. </p><p></p><p>I find it much easier than trying to speak to her to get her to stop calling. I find it easier than getting stressed by her games etc. </p><p></p><p>If you have call display, I highly recommend this approach. It sends a firm message. They would consider it a abomination to answer and have us tell them off again for not respecting our request to stay out of our lives. No worse than being considered rude for hanging up as soon as you see the number. And this way you don't have to go through the whole absurdity of once again telling them to go away. I swear sometimes some people do these things intentionally because they know we don't want them in our lives and they call simply to get us emotionally wound up and upset. Their final way of controlling us. My mother must be in fits when her ability to control those out of the blues is snatched away from her. I don't care. I just want peace. And that, to me, means not exchanging words of any kind. What needed to be said has been said and I refuse to let her antics sucker me into the emotional drainage that she is.</p><p></p><p>Sorry your bro chooses to pretend he doesn't get it. Trust me. He gets it. He simply wants to push any emotional buttons that he can. And if in doing so he can swoop you back in, even for a short bit, into his drama-rama, he'll be more thrilled.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 368516, member: 4264"] Your brother and my mother could story swap. I have the same "no more contact please and thank you" with my mother. She too decides on her own whims when that doesn't mean anything to her and will just pick up the phone and call after long periods (drives me nuts). My phone rang a few days ago. I have call display (my favorite modern techno advancement these days). I saw the last name and thought it was my cousin, the only family member still holding my mothers maiden name. I guess she must have had her phone cut off for non payment and scammed a new phone line by using her maiden name. Regardless, I thought it was my cousin and answered with a cheery hello. Only to be greeted with my mother, acting as if it hadn't been ages since I have spoken to her and told her to stay away from me. She startled to prattle on about wanting to know if I wanted her cat. ???? It was truly strange. Yes I always adored her cat, hes beautiful and so full of personality. But to call me after all this time and try to give me her pet?? Weird, bizarre, just strange. I didn't answer her. Once I realized it was her on the phone, I said not one word. I merely hung up. A few months ago she had popped up like this, after months of honoring my no contact thing. I got so annoyed with the phone ringing endlessly since I wasn't answering. She just kept calling and calling and calling. So I hit the talk button, then hit the end button. Didn't even put it to my ear. She did this a few more times, 3-4 maybe. Each time got the same response. I wasn't goign to have her calling endlessly when she knew I wasn't answering because I knew it was her calling and want no contact. I plan to do the same again if she tries to call, now that I know her new phone number and the name that will show up. I find it much easier than trying to speak to her to get her to stop calling. I find it easier than getting stressed by her games etc. If you have call display, I highly recommend this approach. It sends a firm message. They would consider it a abomination to answer and have us tell them off again for not respecting our request to stay out of our lives. No worse than being considered rude for hanging up as soon as you see the number. And this way you don't have to go through the whole absurdity of once again telling them to go away. I swear sometimes some people do these things intentionally because they know we don't want them in our lives and they call simply to get us emotionally wound up and upset. Their final way of controlling us. My mother must be in fits when her ability to control those out of the blues is snatched away from her. I don't care. I just want peace. And that, to me, means not exchanging words of any kind. What needed to be said has been said and I refuse to let her antics sucker me into the emotional drainage that she is. Sorry your bro chooses to pretend he doesn't get it. Trust me. He gets it. He simply wants to push any emotional buttons that he can. And if in doing so he can swoop you back in, even for a short bit, into his drama-rama, he'll be more thrilled. [/QUOTE]
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