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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 368543" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I know this sounds lame but there is a lot of truth in it's context - </p><p> </p><p>In the movie Merlin - there is a scene where Queen Mab is trying her darndest to possess the people of Camelot. Merlin instructs all the people to turn their backs on her when she enters the room in the castle where they are and not to pay her any attention. Then he utters a line that has stuck with me - and I'll pass it on to you because it has helped me in a lot of situations like the one you are facing with your gfgbro - and the line he says is </p><p>"When we are forgotten we cease to exist." </p><p> </p><p>Now in reality - if you forget about your brother he isn't going to blow off the face of the planet, but he IS going to be gone from your mind; hence cease to exist there. So my best advice to you brother or not - lifetime of abuse or not, allowed to behave one way or another or not, fair or unfair - FORGET HIM. </p><p> </p><p>If he shows up where you are - don't engage a single word with him - speak politely to everyone around you and say NOTHING to him. HE DOES NOT EXIST. Then leave. If he blows a cork - he does so on his own volition. His problem not yours. Let everyone else see what YOU have been dealing with all these years. </p><p> </p><p>If he calls you at home? Hang up - HE DOES NOT EXIST- treat him like a telemarketer. </p><p> </p><p>If he shows up where you are? Leave that area - HE DOES NOT EXIST. </p><p> </p><p>EVENTUALLY like all addictions - HE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE. The only reason he can't and won't leave you alone now is because you keep feeding him little tid-bits of yourself, your time, your thoughts and tagging him along. STOP IT. HE DOES NOT EXIST. WHEN you COMPLETELY and UTTERLY IGNORE HIM....and REALIZE that he can NO LONGER HAVE ANY PART OF YOU OR YOUR HOUSEHOLD IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM? HE WILL NOT EXIST IN YOUR WORLD and he WILL FIND another object of FOCUS. </p><p> </p><p>Until then? It will be, now and forever more - YOU. </p><p> </p><p>I would stop playing nice - and IGNORE HIM. WHY? </p><p>BECAUSE HE DOES NOT EXIST. </p><p> </p><p>IF YOU WANT HIM TO GO AWAY? FOR GOOD? IGNORE HIM. </p><p> </p><p>(hugs & Love dear - I know this has to be hard) </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 368543, member: 4964"] I know this sounds lame but there is a lot of truth in it's context - In the movie Merlin - there is a scene where Queen Mab is trying her darndest to possess the people of Camelot. Merlin instructs all the people to turn their backs on her when she enters the room in the castle where they are and not to pay her any attention. Then he utters a line that has stuck with me - and I'll pass it on to you because it has helped me in a lot of situations like the one you are facing with your gfgbro - and the line he says is "When we are forgotten we cease to exist." Now in reality - if you forget about your brother he isn't going to blow off the face of the planet, but he IS going to be gone from your mind; hence cease to exist there. So my best advice to you brother or not - lifetime of abuse or not, allowed to behave one way or another or not, fair or unfair - FORGET HIM. If he shows up where you are - don't engage a single word with him - speak politely to everyone around you and say NOTHING to him. HE DOES NOT EXIST. Then leave. If he blows a cork - he does so on his own volition. His problem not yours. Let everyone else see what YOU have been dealing with all these years. If he calls you at home? Hang up - HE DOES NOT EXIST- treat him like a telemarketer. If he shows up where you are? Leave that area - HE DOES NOT EXIST. EVENTUALLY like all addictions - HE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE. The only reason he can't and won't leave you alone now is because you keep feeding him little tid-bits of yourself, your time, your thoughts and tagging him along. STOP IT. HE DOES NOT EXIST. WHEN you COMPLETELY and UTTERLY IGNORE HIM....and REALIZE that he can NO LONGER HAVE ANY PART OF YOU OR YOUR HOUSEHOLD IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM? HE WILL NOT EXIST IN YOUR WORLD and he WILL FIND another object of FOCUS. Until then? It will be, now and forever more - YOU. I would stop playing nice - and IGNORE HIM. WHY? BECAUSE HE DOES NOT EXIST. IF YOU WANT HIM TO GO AWAY? FOR GOOD? IGNORE HIM. (hugs & Love dear - I know this has to be hard) Star [/QUOTE]
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