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Another take on husband moving out with-difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 80295" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thank you all.</p><p>I think it's a combination of husband wanting to keep the household peaceful and this is a strange way of buying peace. </p><p>You're right ... after a few mo's with-husband, difficult child would surely make him the target. THAT would surely change things! I think it is a bad idea for husband to move out with-difficult child. If difficult child is going to move out, I want it to be in a professional, therapeutic environment and not more of the same denial that has gone on for yrs. </p><p>I will make a list for husband ... after I talk to the dr. today. </p><p></p><p>Yes, husband has sort of gotten on the same page. But it's too little too late. I am angry with him but he thinks that if you tell someone you're angry with-them, no matter how justified it is, there is something wrong with-you. Even if you say it in a nice tone of voice, sit down and talk about it, etc. He was raised in a family that refused to discuss emotional issues, where his mom played the traditional corporate wife role, his dad traveled, and was never, ever home, and when he did come home, lavished gifts on everyone and then disappeared again. He thinks everything should always be happy and upbeat. He's got this image in his mind that he wants to come home to his castle, candles flickering, the smell of food wafting through the air (never mind that he won't eat most of it because he's a health food nut), everyone running to the door to greet him. He takes it personally if I'm transferring a boiling kettle from the stove to the sink and he tries to kiss me hello and I say "Watch out!" He does not take note of what's going on around him. I'll put the kettle down and say, "Wow, that was scary. Okay, I can kiss you now," and he's all huffy about it.</p><p>He's gotten better over the yrs but it's still very difficult. Maybe that helps to put it in perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 80295, member: 3419"] Thank you all. I think it's a combination of husband wanting to keep the household peaceful and this is a strange way of buying peace. You're right ... after a few mo's with-husband, difficult child would surely make him the target. THAT would surely change things! I think it is a bad idea for husband to move out with-difficult child. If difficult child is going to move out, I want it to be in a professional, therapeutic environment and not more of the same denial that has gone on for yrs. I will make a list for husband ... after I talk to the dr. today. Yes, husband has sort of gotten on the same page. But it's too little too late. I am angry with him but he thinks that if you tell someone you're angry with-them, no matter how justified it is, there is something wrong with-you. Even if you say it in a nice tone of voice, sit down and talk about it, etc. He was raised in a family that refused to discuss emotional issues, where his mom played the traditional corporate wife role, his dad traveled, and was never, ever home, and when he did come home, lavished gifts on everyone and then disappeared again. He thinks everything should always be happy and upbeat. He's got this image in his mind that he wants to come home to his castle, candles flickering, the smell of food wafting through the air (never mind that he won't eat most of it because he's a health food nut), everyone running to the door to greet him. He takes it personally if I'm transferring a boiling kettle from the stove to the sink and he tries to kiss me hello and I say "Watch out!" He does not take note of what's going on around him. I'll put the kettle down and say, "Wow, that was scary. Okay, I can kiss you now," and he's all huffy about it. He's gotten better over the yrs but it's still very difficult. Maybe that helps to put it in perspective. [/QUOTE]
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Another take on husband moving out with-difficult child
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