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Answer to KJS
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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 239493" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>I, like Genny, thought my dtr's pregnancy was a terrible thing--no way would she and the boyfriend be good parents or stable enough to raise a baby. I really chewed her out when I found out about it, said some nasty things to her too. But as the pregnancy progressed I realized that it didn't necessarily have to turn out so bad--that difficult child was raised in a stable, "good" family and she was talking as if that is what she wanted for her child. I had no illusions about the boyfriend--he already had fathered 2 children that he didn't see or support.</p><p></p><p>It looks as if instead of being a bad thing my dtr's pregnancy turned out to be a good thing. I think she is a good mother and she loves her son. She wants what is best for him and this has given her the courage to leave an abusive relationship.</p><p></p><p>I don't think her child is carrying any burden--he just happens to be what changed her life. I don't think he would be better off if she had given him up for adoption, he has a mother who loves him and is providing for him and putting him first, like any good mother would. I guess I didn't express myself very well--I am the one seeing his birth as a catalyst for his mother changing. His mother didn't have him for that purpose, it just happened. She could have gone the other way and continued in her gfgness. I'm glad it worked out well for both of them. </p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 239493, member: 3208"] I, like Genny, thought my dtr's pregnancy was a terrible thing--no way would she and the boyfriend be good parents or stable enough to raise a baby. I really chewed her out when I found out about it, said some nasty things to her too. But as the pregnancy progressed I realized that it didn't necessarily have to turn out so bad--that difficult child was raised in a stable, "good" family and she was talking as if that is what she wanted for her child. I had no illusions about the boyfriend--he already had fathered 2 children that he didn't see or support. It looks as if instead of being a bad thing my dtr's pregnancy turned out to be a good thing. I think she is a good mother and she loves her son. She wants what is best for him and this has given her the courage to leave an abusive relationship. I don't think her child is carrying any burden--he just happens to be what changed her life. I don't think he would be better off if she had given him up for adoption, he has a mother who loves him and is providing for him and putting him first, like any good mother would. I guess I didn't express myself very well--I am the one seeing his birth as a catalyst for his mother changing. His mother didn't have him for that purpose, it just happened. She could have gone the other way and continued in her gfgness. I'm glad it worked out well for both of them. Jane [/QUOTE]
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