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Antisocial Personality Disorder Parenting Strategies
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 579777" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi GP, welcome. I'm so sorry you are going through this will your son. You're in a difficult situation. You've done a lot to get him to 'healthy dependence,' with the SSD and SSI. You might want to contact NAMI (national alliance on mental illness) they provide wonderful support for families. Are you in contact with Social Services? It sounds as if you need guidance on how the system works and how it may or may not be able to help you. I understand and have empathy for your feelings, it's a difficult road. I hope you and your husband are getting some support, because this is very draining on families. Therapy or counseling, support groups, anywhere where you can get the support and the tools<strong> you</strong> need to carry on and get to a place where <strong>you</strong> feel good. There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, you might want to read that. </p><p></p><p>For many of us the road really becomes about us identifying exactly what we are willing to do and what we aren't and then setting very strict boundaries around that. It sounds as if you've done much of that. Once his SSI is available and you are aware of how much money he has, perhaps he can live on his own with his own money and whatever else you are willing to help with. It's difficult when they have brain damage, because they really are impaired. Only you can figure out what you are willing to do and what you can live with. </p><p></p><p>My advice is to find support for you, find a place you are safe and can vent and release some of the feelings you have as well as get some guidance on how you can proceed. For me that was the biggest helpful tool I gave myself, SUPPORT. So I could learn what my needs were above the drama of the situation and my mother's heartstrings, to learn tools to detach and feel good about my decisions and to understand that there is only so much I can do, so much is out of my control......... and to learn to let go. There is a level of peace one can find in the midst of chaos that has to do with acceptance of what we really can do and what we can't do. The serenity prayer is a good reference point to help one get back on that track.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. You've done a lot. Once he is set up with his financial foundation, with support for you, it may be the time for you to learn to detach from him in ways you haven't already. I wish you peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 579777, member: 13542"] Hi GP, welcome. I'm so sorry you are going through this will your son. You're in a difficult situation. You've done a lot to get him to 'healthy dependence,' with the SSD and SSI. You might want to contact NAMI (national alliance on mental illness) they provide wonderful support for families. Are you in contact with Social Services? It sounds as if you need guidance on how the system works and how it may or may not be able to help you. I understand and have empathy for your feelings, it's a difficult road. I hope you and your husband are getting some support, because this is very draining on families. Therapy or counseling, support groups, anywhere where you can get the support and the tools[B] you[/B] need to carry on and get to a place where [B]you[/B] feel good. There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, you might want to read that. For many of us the road really becomes about us identifying exactly what we are willing to do and what we aren't and then setting very strict boundaries around that. It sounds as if you've done much of that. Once his SSI is available and you are aware of how much money he has, perhaps he can live on his own with his own money and whatever else you are willing to help with. It's difficult when they have brain damage, because they really are impaired. Only you can figure out what you are willing to do and what you can live with. My advice is to find support for you, find a place you are safe and can vent and release some of the feelings you have as well as get some guidance on how you can proceed. For me that was the biggest helpful tool I gave myself, SUPPORT. So I could learn what my needs were above the drama of the situation and my mother's heartstrings, to learn tools to detach and feel good about my decisions and to understand that there is only so much I can do, so much is out of my control......... and to learn to let go. There is a level of peace one can find in the midst of chaos that has to do with acceptance of what we really can do and what we can't do. The serenity prayer is a good reference point to help one get back on that track. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. You've done a lot. Once he is set up with his financial foundation, with support for you, it may be the time for you to learn to detach from him in ways you haven't already. I wish you peace. [/QUOTE]
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