Anxious This Morning

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Aug 1, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I finally bit the bullet and applied online for food stamps and welfare insurance. My bank account is all but empty.

    Since years and years ago husband and I once applied for emergency food stamps when he was out of work and the kitchen was bare, they still have all the info they need. (I know they do because they did for Nichole) So instead of having me come in for an interview, they're doing it over the phone. Normally, this would be all fine and good. But today of course, i work. I have 3 little boys showing up at the exact moment they're due to call, which is 1pm. Heaven help me. And they are anything but quiet. Not to mention the puppy.

    easy child told sister in law to bring them early so we can get Connor off for his nap and the older two into the living room to watch tv. I hope he remembers. I'll put Maggie into her crate which will make her sad as she doesn't use it much except when I leave and at night anymore. She's been being a good girl. But last thing I need is her and Molly to start playing during the phone call.

    Anxious? Yes. I need the insurance. Travis needs the insurance. I know he'll get it no problem due to the SSI. The food stamps would be nice, but I'm not thinking they'd be much to begin with since there are no kids in the household. So I'm not really all that worked up over them. Every little bit helps at this point but yeah.

    I need the insurance cuz I need my medications back in a major way. Not just the ones for the physical dxes, but the anxiety has progressively gotten worse since husband died and I need something to help me get it back under control again. It's actually worse in many ways than it was post accident that caused the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), which is really bad folks. For months I've been trying to handle ti myself thinking the grief was just making it more difficult. Uh, no. It's out of control and crippling me as far as interacting with the outside world beyond family. medications will help me to be able to get back out there again......once I start doing that, I'll be able to wean off them like I did last time. I also need new glasses in the worst way.

    I know it's silly to be anxious. The worst that can happen is they say no. But that's just not how anxiety works. I'm trying to not let it get the best of me. My brain literally freezes under stress and goes blank. That is the last thing I need to have happen on the phone with them. ugh
  2. Jody

    Jody Active Member


    I hope you get what you need to help you with this problem. I hate anxiety, I take Ativan as needed and lately I've been needing it. easy child is home now and hopefully I can stop being so nervous. How long will it take before you know if you can get approved? When I am anxious i don't feel like being around anyone either. Hang in there!!! When i get anxious, my brain works better than my body. My body freezes up and I can't do anything, but sit and get more anxious. I try to get it under control before that happens. Do you remember what you used to take. Ativan is really cheap.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Sweetie, how did it go? It's almost 3:00 PM...
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It went cruddy pretty much. I don't do on the phone that well to begin did not help that it seems I got a fairly newbie caseworker either.

    Travis is fine, they aren't allowed to refuse him.

    Me? Well, they wanna know how I make house payments and pay bills............well, ok that was fine I just explained to them exactly how I've been doing that and how that money has run out. So then she wants to know how I intend to pay it in the future........that one I wasn't really expecting, as I told her I've been looking for work. So it threw me and when anxiety is in high gear and you get thrown off stride, just for me anyway doesn't come back. I said oh I guess my mom will help me out. Now oddly that was fine. Just make sure she pays them directly. Then she tossed out oh well is she going to expect you to pay her back........(boys are here while this is going on, Travis is hovering nearby......yeah last thing I needed was distraction) so the answer came automatic, well I suppose she would yeah. So then I need documentation of that. wtf? Seriously?

    Now Nichole explained they view that as a loan. Ok whatever. So I'll just say she won't expect me to pay her back and she'll pay directly to help with what she helps with. But that alone, until Nichole cleared it up, just about sent me off the deep end. I guess it's ok to receive gifts of help but not to be responsible and pay it back. Ok gotcha. omg how stupid.

    So then she explains I'll have to sign up for the work program for my food stamps. Ok fine. I knew that. But easy child is going to wish she didn't push me to do this because that will automatically stop me from watching the boys, it's a 5 day a week factory job deal. They help you do your resume and find other work. I don't have an issue with that, it will give me a recent work history. easy child is not gonna like it though.

    So I've got to bring them in everything from the kitchen sink. Travis' ID, my driver's license, car registration, bank statement, house payment book thingie. But I'm not to do that until she sends the form I need to file this for Travis (cuz he's an adult) and the work form for me. okkk.

    I have no clue what amount of food stamps either of us would get. He gets medicaid no issue. She tells me I qualify for contraceptive insurance. I nearly laughed at her. It only covers contraceptive care and a few other medications. I said well I hope those are BiPolar (BP) medications and heart medications and kidney medications because I need those.........uh, no, it doesn't. wtf? So I got upset and said what is the point then? She said once she gets all the info in she'll check into getting me normal medicaid. omg

    I have zero income people. (well, other than watching the boys but that is cash)

    I got off the phone hopping mad. Nichole talked me down the way I do her. I don't deal with this crud well to begin with.......I have real issues with it. It's a matter of self pride, which I happen to take seriously. And yeah I was willing to put that aside and do what needed to be done........but if I'm going to be jumping through hoops for like 50 bucks a mo food stamps and contraceptive insurance they can take it and shove it! I'll go through with Travis' and just do without.

    I know all my physical medications are on the 4.00 list except maybe the foltab or whatever the heck it's called........the massive dose of B6 I have to have. But that one I don't think was expensive because I know husband was paying for it out of pocket, but I think it was a little higher than the 4 buck deal. I'm not sure. One of them he was paying more for. The psychiatric medications, I know trazadone is a 4 buck medication, seroquil and klonopin I have no clue about. I've never tried Atavan. I can get in to see the psychiatrist for 10 bucks without insur, but if I can't pay for the medications it doesn't do me much good. He's done samples in the past but the way things are around here they're probably snatched up the moment they come in.

    I hate this crud.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, Lisa, I'm so sorry you got a newbie and she sent you over the edge. You didn't need that.
    Frankly, I think you are doing the right thing. You do not want to wait until you are on the street or something, iow, if you get another health issue that puts you in the hospital so you literally lose your house, Know what I mean??
    You had no way of knowing that you could or should receive gifts as opposed to repaying a loan. That's the kind of stuff I have to talk to an eldercare atty about with-my cousin, P. And it can change with-the laws, too.
    I know you're fretting, but I would try to do something relaxing and just be relieved that you made the call and set the wheels in motion. Once you're in their system, seems to me you can tweak things. This sort of thing doesn't happen overnight.
    Many hugs.
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    (HUGS) When she calls you back, tell her you're scared you're going to lose your house and you have no income. She doesn't need to know about anything from your family. Jump through the hoops. You'll get it, you have no income! If you take care of small children, you may not have to go to the factory job. Tell her you do that for free, it's your grandchildren.
    Kolonapin is most likely on the $4 list. Serequil is more expensive. There is no reason to live with anxiety, go to the dr, even your gp can give you something for that.

    The phone call is over, you did your best. Try to do something relaxing tonight. (HUGS)
  7. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you got stuck with a newbie. You should easily qualify with no income - she shouldn't have put added stress on you. ((hugs))
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks guys. I'm doing better now that both my temper and anxiety levels have come down a few notches.

    I can fix the loan thing just by telling them my mom changed her mind and will just pay it period. That seems to be ok. I don't understand it but I can roll with the punches that way I guess. Nichole says it sounds like I got her old caseworker (they pick by what letter your last name starts with) here and while she was nice as could be she wasn't very bright and often told her the wrong things. She told Nichole at first they'd basically get nothing and then they got drowned in stuff. So who knows.

    I feel bad for easy child because if I have to do their work program she is up and without a sitter instantly. I can't tell them oh I can start at such and such a time, no, they tell you and you'd better be there. That much I know from katie. (which is why M keeps his job, no job no food stamps & medicaid period) With an ordinary job I can tell them I can start at such and such a date and that is usually ok as long as it's reasonable. We talked about this tonight and I told her to go ahead and hunt for a new sitter because I don't want her left hanging. That's not fair. You can't opt out of working for any reason other than disability and you darn well better be able to prove it. Know what I mean?? State law. Good law in my opinion, but it can be a pain in the rear under certain circumstances.

    I'm thinking I'm going to get easy child's schedule for next week and try to make it in to see the fam doctor. I'm sure honestly he'd give me all the medications, but I don't remember the doses for the psychiatric's been more than 4 yrs since I weaned off them.

    It kills me that I'm having issues getting anything, and Nichole (who's husband makes good money) can't seem to get Oliver OFF medicaid no matter how hard she tries. It's been an ongoing process for a year now.....every time she thinks they finally took him off she finds out from fam doctor he's still on. omg Oh, yeah. Our govt can handle obamacare.......they're doing such a hot job of it now. Not.

    I'm going to *maybe* pour myself a stiff rum and pepsi (I hate coke) and just chill for the rest of the evening. ugh

    But it's started.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    oh Lisa I wish you had called me and discussed this with me first! What are friends for who worked in the system for if not to give you advice on how to work said system? LOL

    Number 1. You and Travis need to sign a little piece of paper that says you cook and eat separately. This is perfectly natural because of your kidney disease. According to Social Services there isnt a person in our house that cooks and eats together.

    As to how you are going to pay your bills, well you need to apply for disability just as much as travis does. Also when Travis gets his disability, he is responsible for one third of those bills. Just the way it is. If you dont charge him rent, they will reduce his check.

    So the answer to how you have been paying your bills is the little bit of money your husband left behind to you but that is gone now and you are applying to local charities and have now come to social services. As far as that working thing, go get your doctor to write you a note that says that your are too disabled to participate in such things and that he has advised you to apply for disability. They will leave you alone. Yes family is allowed to help pay bills directly to the agency but it cant go through your hands. Just get them to say it. We all know thats a crock. Just dont tell them what all your bills are if they are going to be hard to pay. Yes you need the mortgage and the lightbill. No you dont need cable.

    Play the game.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, I didn't know the eating thing. But I will tell them that. And well, honestly it's true to a certain extent.

    I don't mind working if I can work. I don't mind trying to work. Know what I mean?? I just see no way if I'm on disability too we'd ever make the bills. Couldn't happen. Even if we both found a way for part time jobs. It would be far too tight each month and that is without cable ect. I won't shut down the internet because it seems to be the new way to find work. ugh

    I guess when I see fam doctor I'll discuss it with him. The girls want me to do the disability too. But honestly I don't think it's going to be cut and dry with me & if I'd get it it would take a long haul. I couldn't not work during that time. I have various things all playing off each other, but I don't honestly believe any of them are enough to push it through. So I'll talk about it with him but in the meantime work if I can.

    The welfare job is not bad at all honestly. It teaches you various factory skills and helps you get the hang of the repetition without the pressure, and they help you find other work that pays well. Katie had to do it 10 yrs ago when it first started.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member have severe renal failure. That is one of the ones that get it right away. I would have to look it up again but I think it is. I realize you hate what you feel is charity but really dont feel that way. Let me ask you this. You are used to living on next to nothing. Travis should get at least Mid 700's if not slightly more. He will also get medicaid. If worse comes to worse, you will only get SSI but you could also get widows benefits...not sure about that so dont hold me to that. If you only get SSI, that is about 689 right now if Ohio doesnt add to it which I am going to assume they dont.

    So if Travis gets say 750 and you get 689 that is 1439 coming into the house plus food stamps. Travis says he has to pay rent. He gets about 75 or so in FS, you will get about 200 in FS. With your planning in shopping I am sure you can make that work.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't doubt that anyone applying for aid has issues of pride with having to prove that they're poor. That being said, maybe easy child can apply for Child Care Assistance. If she's required to work and can't afford child care, she's eligible. Then you'd have a little income for watching over the babies.

    Janet is ABSOLUTELY right about playing the game. Your mother may give you a gift from time to time, but that's none of their business. You have no income. Just as when you applied for Travis' SSI and you had to make sure that they understood what was the worst possible day for him, you have to explain to them what the realities of your household are today. There's no money. Period. Will you lose the house? So far as they are concerned you might darned well lose the house. Don't let them reduce your benefit by making you a burden to your mother. Get in there and apply for disability and/or any other benefit you might qualify for. It's handy to talk on the phone, but better to see them in person and make sure that they tell you about every program that might benefit you.

    I pay taxes, you paid taxes, we all paid taxes so that when you were in need you could eat and keep a roof over your head. I sure as **** didn't pay my taxes so that we could spend $723 billion on defense a year for wars that they don't even have the guts to think are important enough to draft young men into or keep in the public eye through briefing statements or press releases while you went hungry and made your mom help you out. They don't let me have a choice about the defense budget, but I have a choice about making sure that the people that I care about get every last cent that's coming to them. Get online, go down there, do whatever you have to do to apply for everything that's available to you. Drag the kids with you if you have to or let them scream in the background, it only serves to verify your situation.

    That's apples to oranges, Lisa. As in most states, Medicaid in Ohio is overseen by the Ohio state government, and the Governor announced in the past several weeks that they are going to opt in to the Federal Affordable Care Act. My friend has been paying her own premiums for years, and got a $1,400 check back from her insurance company last week because they overcharged her and the ACA forced them to refund her what they overcharged. She's not the only one. It's not called "Obamacare". It's our healthcare system by law and the Supreme Court upheld it, so it's time to stop calling it a name that riles some up and offends others.

    in my humble opinion, Governors and State Representatives who opt out of Federal programs to increase their "austerity bona fides" are crooks and idiots who are going to turn their states into ghettos. They absolutely don't have to take that money, but every citizen is still going to have to keep paying the Federal taxes. Those states are going to get less back for their investment in the Federal government while the states that are smart are going to take every single penny that the other states turn down and do well.
  13. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    On the ssi web site end stage renal failure is an automatic qualifies with no wait involved. If u are not already on medicade and medicare u will qualify quickly.
    Your son should be qualifed due to his vision. He will also qualify for many other services.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I thought renal failure qualified immediately but my mind isnt what it used to be. What is absolutely ticking me off right now is that when I was working for DSS no able bodied adult who was able to work -notice I said able bodied person - could get food stamps for more than 3 months while they were sent down to the unemployment office to look for work. In fact this was still in effect back in 2005 when I went down to apply for them when I lost my medicaid due to Cory turning 19. I went down to apply for FS and they wanted me to apply for work. Heck if I could work I wouldnt have been applying for disability! Thankfully, I got my doctor to send in a note and I was exempt from the work requirement and was able to get FS for longer than the 3 months because I was considered disabled. However I was only eligible for $130 a month because I didnt have a mortgage.

    Buck on the other hand, applied when he moved here and yes he was unemployed the first month. However it took him forever to apply. We finally got him to apply the last week of January. They counted the wages he made in January from Burger King in SC which werent much but because he applied so late he got zero for that month. Now he didnt work in February either but we didnt see any of those benefits because they didnt come in until the end of the month. We had to push him to go get his NC ID because he couldnt pass the drivers test. (3 times!) However, a week after his FS came in he started working for Tony and I flat told him he needed to call DSS and tell him that he had started working. Did he? Nope. AND he is getting $200 a month when he was paying nothing in rent. I mean he was living here when he applied. His mail is still coming here so I see his statements from DSS. He got an application to reapply in June when he was still working for Tony. He lied and said he was still unemployed and got another $200 a month.

    Now he has also gone to one of our local sliding scale doctors that cost a minimum of $20 to see but somehow he only pays $10. Now we know good ole Buck is a drug addict and he took his records to that doctor but I dont know if he went through them and removed anything first. I tend to think not because Im not sure he would understand the medical lingo. However one place in there it said that one doctor wouldnt give him more pain medications because of probable addictive behavior. But then he starts begging Cory for pain medications, we know he stole a whole bottle of what he thought were xanax, then just recently he called Tony asking him what the street value were for lortabs were? Say what? How would I know, I dont buy street drugs.

    Well well. Turns out he managed to convince this sliding scale doctor to put him on a pain contract which is something I could never do the entire time I went to them and I have a much more solid reason for needing them and gave him lortab. 60 of them but evidently Buck says they dont work well and he doesnt like them so he wants to sell them on the street and get something he likes better. I am furious at the whole thing. He is still working a few days here and there for Tony so he can pay his rent and other expenses. I also think Tony is giving him some money on the side. I cant prove it though because I am not privy to Tony's checks and what he spends them on. Well...I know he is selling his these pills. I am gonna turn him in both places...DSS and this doctor's office. I have several copies of his checks from working for Tony's employer. I intend to call the doctor's office and give them a false name and tell them this dude tried to sell me these pain medications. That will get him kicked off so fast his head will spin. DSS will be harder because I dont know how their fraud dept is set up anymore. He really should be kicked off for a year and have to pay back the stamps he got illegally.

    It just irritates me that little old ladies who own their own homes, make around 750 in social security, drive a beater can only get about $20 in food stamps but a drug addict who can work can lie and get $200.