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Any advice please!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 711281" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Has she ever been diagnosed with any personality disorder like borderline? Look it up. See if it fits. Whetheror not you feel it does i would buy the book Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krieger.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter is abusing you, stealing, cussing you out, refusing to work, doing drugs and is making your house, which in my opinion is your sanctuary, more like a hellhole, set strict boundaries. Its your house/ your rules. You csn give her the choice of folliwing your rules or finding somewhere else to live...or just leave and work it out. There are shelters. Many of us had to put tjem out. Sometimes it works for them. It did for my daughter. Does it always work? Unless they are cognitively disabled, they should be able to get a job and find a small room to rent. But some wont. At 26 it is up to her to get her act together. You cant do it for her. Its on her.</p><p></p><p>Your younger daughter, you and your partner should not feel as if you have an uncontrollable adult toddler in your house who rules your roost. That is being unkind to all the kind, well behaved members who live in what in my opinion should be a safe space. Nobody should fear theft, loud fights, rages, bullying, etc. In his and her own home. It is not asking too much to ask your grown woman daughter to follow your rules and to be nice under your roof.</p><p></p><p>This of course is your choice. We support any choice you make. I just feel we should reject bad behavior and abuse even if these were once our babies. They are far from that now. They are adults and we do not owe them money, housing, anything...especially if they destroy our lives and act like grown toddlers and refuse to conform to reasonable expectations such as civility, respect, paying rent and working and not using any drugs while under our roof.</p><p></p><p>We decide our tolerance levels.</p><p></p><p>When was the last time you put your own needs first? Do you see a therapist? One family member in my opinion should not make so much noise that that one person blocks out the needs of everyone else.</p><p></p><p>Try tp think of the best way you can live in peace. Yes...you matter. A lot!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 711281, member: 1550"] Has she ever been diagnosed with any personality disorder like borderline? Look it up. See if it fits. Whetheror not you feel it does i would buy the book Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krieger. If your daughter is abusing you, stealing, cussing you out, refusing to work, doing drugs and is making your house, which in my opinion is your sanctuary, more like a hellhole, set strict boundaries. Its your house/ your rules. You csn give her the choice of folliwing your rules or finding somewhere else to live...or just leave and work it out. There are shelters. Many of us had to put tjem out. Sometimes it works for them. It did for my daughter. Does it always work? Unless they are cognitively disabled, they should be able to get a job and find a small room to rent. But some wont. At 26 it is up to her to get her act together. You cant do it for her. Its on her. Your younger daughter, you and your partner should not feel as if you have an uncontrollable adult toddler in your house who rules your roost. That is being unkind to all the kind, well behaved members who live in what in my opinion should be a safe space. Nobody should fear theft, loud fights, rages, bullying, etc. In his and her own home. It is not asking too much to ask your grown woman daughter to follow your rules and to be nice under your roof. This of course is your choice. We support any choice you make. I just feel we should reject bad behavior and abuse even if these were once our babies. They are far from that now. They are adults and we do not owe them money, housing, anything...especially if they destroy our lives and act like grown toddlers and refuse to conform to reasonable expectations such as civility, respect, paying rent and working and not using any drugs while under our roof. We decide our tolerance levels. When was the last time you put your own needs first? Do you see a therapist? One family member in my opinion should not make so much noise that that one person blocks out the needs of everyone else. Try tp think of the best way you can live in peace. Yes...you matter. A lot! [/QUOTE]
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