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Any Idea what this is? Up, down syndrome.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 378726" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>*insert smiley with the eyes that bug waaaay out* (we really need that back by the way)</p><p></p><p>Starbie I wish I had the answers. Bipolar? Maybe.......but I don't really think so. Dude was the victim of S during his most impressionable years. That leaves a lasting mark on even the strongest of personalities. That Dude has turned out as well as he has it in my opinion a credit to YOUR strength in character/personality and parenting. If he hadn't had that......well honestly he might have even given S a run for his money.</p><p></p><p>And although Dude chose to put himself into the position, he is once again caught up in the victim role with S. Ok so he fights back......and yet walks right back into it = victim. Once you get caught back up into the loop it can be mighty mighty hard to break free. Sounds like he's trying, but he keeps falling short.</p><p></p><p>As to the confused text messages........by the way which have some resemblance to K's....... he's lost, confused......he wants to do better, but it feels like the whole world is against him (even if he did it himself) he wants to get his life back on track......then is overwhelmed by what it will take to do that........Then guessing the girlfriend dropped the by the way I'm preggers bomb on him.......throwing him into yet another tailspin cuz OMG HE"S gonna be the DAD......and what sorry *ss sort of dad is he gonna be for his kid when he's messed up his own life so horribly before it really even got started........</p><p></p><p>You get the idea. Yup. I think he's big time lost. Bouncing from panic to being overwhelmed to trying to find his way out of being lost. And because he can't seem to find his way it just keeps getting worse. The longer he is with S the worse it will get. </p><p></p><p>Very similar to K. We can only offer minimal help for fear they'll stomp all over us. Which basically leaves them alone. It hoovers to the max........but we can't change that.</p><p></p><p>I'll be honest.....deep inside is still that Mom instinct screaming at me to get K and the kids here and get them out of the horrid position they're in. I'm ignoring it, and I'm sure you are too. And I seriously hope it's a false alarm with the preggers deal, because innocent children put a whole new spin on everything and make it a million times harder to say NO. </p><p></p><p>There are moments when I wish K would show up so I can just smack the snot out of her and ask her just how utterly stupid can she possibly be? I mean c'mon.....seriously? Your husband plasters nude pics of himself online....can't keep a job to save his life......has you living in motels with 3 kids for years and years......and you're sitting going hungry without a thing to your name in a shelter in the middle of a strange city where you know no one at all........and you can't possibly see what is soooooo WRONG with that picture??<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> There is much more but I'm not going to hijack your post. lol But yeah......K is not stupid by a long shot except when it comes to this person. And the past months she can't even keep her lies straight.....sooo phhht. (not about the homeless part but how they're getting money for things)</p><p></p><p>And you know what? K doesn't even have the excuse of having an S as a parent. *sigh*</p><p></p><p>I wish I had some answers. But the best I've managed to come up with is a plan that will help me keep my sanity and be able to live with mysel</p><p></p><p> The number of males who tend to go on to live *normal* lives after such severe abuse is greatly smaller than females.....which of course isn't large to begin with. Heck in my own family I'm the only 1 out of 5.......and I spent at least half of my childhood away from the situation. And the children/grandchildren of those other 4.......make my difficult children look like absolute angels.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" /> The cycle perpetuates itself.</p><p></p><p>And yeah I know you know this........but sometimes we need a nudge to remind us of what we already know. My gut tells me that deep down Dude is a great guy and has many of his mother's qualities. Mental illness? I don't know. Considering the hades you and he survived.....to me too much of that is entangled in things to ever really be certain. I think Dude <strong>wants</strong> to change, I just think he doesn't know <strong>how </strong>to change.........and he's afraid he will never <strong>be able</strong> to change. </p><p></p><p>I'm not making excuses for Dude any more than I would with K. They each still have to want it bad enough to make it happen.</p><p></p><p>So......no answers. lol I can go round and round with this just on K alone........lol I think it is because I threw off the victim role and refuse to ever put it back on again, and now it makes it difficult for me to understand why someone else stays in the groove. Sort of like an ex smoker not being able to understand why others can't quit like they did. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p>P.S. I hope girlfriend is NOT preggers........and our Dude is still in my prayers as always, as are you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 378726, member: 84"] *insert smiley with the eyes that bug waaaay out* (we really need that back by the way) Starbie I wish I had the answers. Bipolar? Maybe.......but I don't really think so. Dude was the victim of S during his most impressionable years. That leaves a lasting mark on even the strongest of personalities. That Dude has turned out as well as he has it in my opinion a credit to YOUR strength in character/personality and parenting. If he hadn't had that......well honestly he might have even given S a run for his money. And although Dude chose to put himself into the position, he is once again caught up in the victim role with S. Ok so he fights back......and yet walks right back into it = victim. Once you get caught back up into the loop it can be mighty mighty hard to break free. Sounds like he's trying, but he keeps falling short. As to the confused text messages........by the way which have some resemblance to K's....... he's lost, confused......he wants to do better, but it feels like the whole world is against him (even if he did it himself) he wants to get his life back on track......then is overwhelmed by what it will take to do that........Then guessing the girlfriend dropped the by the way I'm preggers bomb on him.......throwing him into yet another tailspin cuz OMG HE"S gonna be the DAD......and what sorry *ss sort of dad is he gonna be for his kid when he's messed up his own life so horribly before it really even got started........ You get the idea. Yup. I think he's big time lost. Bouncing from panic to being overwhelmed to trying to find his way out of being lost. And because he can't seem to find his way it just keeps getting worse. The longer he is with S the worse it will get. Very similar to K. We can only offer minimal help for fear they'll stomp all over us. Which basically leaves them alone. It hoovers to the max........but we can't change that. I'll be honest.....deep inside is still that Mom instinct screaming at me to get K and the kids here and get them out of the horrid position they're in. I'm ignoring it, and I'm sure you are too. And I seriously hope it's a false alarm with the preggers deal, because innocent children put a whole new spin on everything and make it a million times harder to say NO. There are moments when I wish K would show up so I can just smack the snot out of her and ask her just how utterly stupid can she possibly be? I mean c'mon.....seriously? Your husband plasters nude pics of himself online....can't keep a job to save his life......has you living in motels with 3 kids for years and years......and you're sitting going hungry without a thing to your name in a shelter in the middle of a strange city where you know no one at all........and you can't possibly see what is soooooo WRONG with that picture??:angry::angry: There is much more but I'm not going to hijack your post. lol But yeah......K is not stupid by a long shot except when it comes to this person. And the past months she can't even keep her lies straight.....sooo phhht. (not about the homeless part but how they're getting money for things) And you know what? K doesn't even have the excuse of having an S as a parent. *sigh* I wish I had some answers. But the best I've managed to come up with is a plan that will help me keep my sanity and be able to live with mysel The number of males who tend to go on to live *normal* lives after such severe abuse is greatly smaller than females.....which of course isn't large to begin with. Heck in my own family I'm the only 1 out of 5.......and I spent at least half of my childhood away from the situation. And the children/grandchildren of those other 4.......make my difficult children look like absolute angels.:whiteflag: The cycle perpetuates itself. And yeah I know you know this........but sometimes we need a nudge to remind us of what we already know. My gut tells me that deep down Dude is a great guy and has many of his mother's qualities. Mental illness? I don't know. Considering the hades you and he survived.....to me too much of that is entangled in things to ever really be certain. I think Dude [B]wants[/B] to change, I just think he doesn't know [B]how [/B]to change.........and he's afraid he will never [B]be able[/B] to change. I'm not making excuses for Dude any more than I would with K. They each still have to want it bad enough to make it happen. So......no answers. lol I can go round and round with this just on K alone........lol I think it is because I threw off the victim role and refuse to ever put it back on again, and now it makes it difficult for me to understand why someone else stays in the groove. Sort of like an ex smoker not being able to understand why others can't quit like they did. :raspberry-tounge: (((hugs))) P.S. I hope girlfriend is NOT preggers........and our Dude is still in my prayers as always, as are you. [/QUOTE]
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Any Idea what this is? Up, down syndrome.
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