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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 160992" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Shari, </p><p> </p><p>With an obvious lack of good teen roll models I think this is pretty tough for her. </p><p> </p><p>And especially when she's getting encouragement from her Mother and gma. (ARGH) My Mom told me something years ago when I went into attention seeking mode and it stuck. To this day it sticks. And that was telling me flat out - You can dress sexy without being sleazy. If you're really going to turn a fellas head - sexy is good, sleazy is out. </p><p> </p><p>At her age - telling her Jesus wouldn't like her in a bikini is going to get you a challenge. I think. But walking around in a store and maybe ALLOWING her to pick the SLEAZY bikini and then having the help of a clerk when she came out in a SEXY bikini and ask the clerk to really 'promote' the modest swim suit would be helpful. Or a friend of yours go with you and when she comes out in the string and bead thong thing - everyone make a face and say That's kinda sleazy - but when she walks out in the modest suit EVERYONE nod and give that all woman approval of "Ohhhhh yeah now THAT is sexy". She's looking for approval of women too, just doesn't know it. And do NOT use words like CUTE, SWEET, Nice - it has GOT to be that Ohhhhhhhh yes......NOW THAT ONE.....Hmmmm mmmm you'll turn heads in that for SURE. you dont' mention BOYS turning heads - just heads turning. You can also say "Oh, yes!!!!! VERY sexy." kinda talk. You are not lying, you are not compromising your faith or character, and you are allowing her to make a choice. If she chooses slutty - or sleezy - then she has to deal with the consequences of the other girls whispers. And if she's overweight - there will be whispers - little girls can be cruel. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the name - with your wee difficult child we ran into the same thing and did the hyphenated name thing as we couldnt' afford to have his name changed legally- $3k now and $65 in 5 months if he still wants to. At age 10 - Dude went to DF and told him that he wanted to call him Dad. Not step dad not I'm not his real father (which well yes - he IS - a Father is who raises you) What DF used to say Because well - lets face it - HE is Swedish and we're ......NOT. </p><p> </p><p>In response to people who KNOW that your husband is NOT wee difficult child's bio dad? Shame on them for directing that question at a child. DF got adopted by difficult child at age 10. I have had to look at idiots like that and say "Didn't you get an invitation to the divorce? How callus of me to not invite you." (almost as callus as asking a child if a man they know isn't his daddy is. </p><p> </p><p>DF had a few responses that let inquiring minds know WELL YES I'm raising this kid, without saying anything about his bio father. </p><p> </p><p>"When you raise a child this long you hope you're called Dad and not something else - (like jerk)." </p><p>"I'm actually his step-dad." </p><p>"I'm proud to call him my son, I'm Mr. SO and So, nice to meet you." </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 160992, member: 4964"] Shari, With an obvious lack of good teen roll models I think this is pretty tough for her. And especially when she's getting encouragement from her Mother and gma. (ARGH) My Mom told me something years ago when I went into attention seeking mode and it stuck. To this day it sticks. And that was telling me flat out - You can dress sexy without being sleazy. If you're really going to turn a fellas head - sexy is good, sleazy is out. At her age - telling her Jesus wouldn't like her in a bikini is going to get you a challenge. I think. But walking around in a store and maybe ALLOWING her to pick the SLEAZY bikini and then having the help of a clerk when she came out in a SEXY bikini and ask the clerk to really 'promote' the modest swim suit would be helpful. Or a friend of yours go with you and when she comes out in the string and bead thong thing - everyone make a face and say That's kinda sleazy - but when she walks out in the modest suit EVERYONE nod and give that all woman approval of "Ohhhhh yeah now THAT is sexy". She's looking for approval of women too, just doesn't know it. And do NOT use words like CUTE, SWEET, Nice - it has GOT to be that Ohhhhhhhh yes......NOW THAT ONE.....Hmmmm mmmm you'll turn heads in that for SURE. you dont' mention BOYS turning heads - just heads turning. You can also say "Oh, yes!!!!! VERY sexy." kinda talk. You are not lying, you are not compromising your faith or character, and you are allowing her to make a choice. If she chooses slutty - or sleezy - then she has to deal with the consequences of the other girls whispers. And if she's overweight - there will be whispers - little girls can be cruel. As far as the name - with your wee difficult child we ran into the same thing and did the hyphenated name thing as we couldnt' afford to have his name changed legally- $3k now and $65 in 5 months if he still wants to. At age 10 - Dude went to DF and told him that he wanted to call him Dad. Not step dad not I'm not his real father (which well yes - he IS - a Father is who raises you) What DF used to say Because well - lets face it - HE is Swedish and we're ......NOT. In response to people who KNOW that your husband is NOT wee difficult child's bio dad? Shame on them for directing that question at a child. DF got adopted by difficult child at age 10. I have had to look at idiots like that and say "Didn't you get an invitation to the divorce? How callus of me to not invite you." (almost as callus as asking a child if a man they know isn't his daddy is. DF had a few responses that let inquiring minds know WELL YES I'm raising this kid, without saying anything about his bio father. "When you raise a child this long you hope you're called Dad and not something else - (like jerk)." "I'm actually his step-dad." "I'm proud to call him my son, I'm Mr. SO and So, nice to meet you." Hugs [/QUOTE]
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