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Anybody with pill addiction experiences, advice???
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 352190" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Thanks for responding. We have been watching intervention and another new one (forget the name) alot over the past year. It has been really helpful in many ways. </p><p></p><p>It is ironic you mention the show. We've had several conversations with s/o's mother about his sisters issues and we had one again about an hour after she tried to hock us the perfume on Sat. night and after s/o spoke with her husband. His mother called and after a few minutes chit chat, asked if we had recently seen K, how does she seem, etc. I hedged. Asked if SHE had spoken to her recently, how did SHE think she was doing etc. His mother said she knew K had not at all quit using and in fact seemed worse than ever. Whew!! I hate to tell a senior that her daughter is at this point a lying actively using drug addict. Since she knew, s/o and I let it ALL out with her on the phone. She did too. Informed us she had learned K is doctor shopping the walk in clinics in town and has been labelled at many which she now can't use. Also that she is taking and abusing some hard core sleeping pills. Great. During that conversation my mother in law mentioned that K's husband needs to do xyz (threaten divorce, file seperation, cut off her money supply etc). I took a pretty firm tone. I said I agree, but that her husband also only has this family, none of his own. He wants to do something more than fighting with his wife, but I know he feels very alone and is uncertain if he'll lose the whole family. I told my mother in law that we all have talked and talked for a long time now about what could be done, should be done, someone else should do etc. And that quite frankly it is past the point that there is anything new to add to THAT dialogue. I told her I firmly believe, as does my s/o, that as a family everyone at this stage must stand up together. Be united. Her kids are old enough and involved enough, that they should be there as well. And that we really need to pee or get off the pot so to speak. She didn't seem to like the word intervention at first. Oh well. I told her that s/o and I are more than willing to arrive at her home, along with her husband and children, along with mother in law and the other brother who lives near mother in law and could easily take her here for a day trip, and sit down with K and lay it on the line. Each of us telling what we will no longer do (money, listening, seeing her when high etc) and what will be doing (calling police for driving under influence, whatever steps her husband decides on, etc). Her mother seems receptive now and actually was very on board by the end of the conversation. The thing is, s/o mentioned right away how unfortunatly his mother can easily (and always does) go back to sticking her head in the sand. She is very wrapped up in this daughters life and hates to "ruffle" her daughter. It is a huge annoyance and upset to my s/o. So we can't really count on her to follow through despite s/o telling her blatantly that how on earth can we all cry at her funeral after some overdose or car wreck, when none of us had the guts to stand together and put firm consequences in place that might force her to rock bottom and to wanting to get help. (Proud of my s/o for saying that to his mom, they are close and it was hard for him to be so blunt, but it was for sure overdue).</p><p></p><p>I do know that s/o is going to be contacting his brother in law this week via telephone and offering to participate in a intervention if he so chooses. I don't know if our support towards her husband will be enough emotional support for him to feel he won't be losing everything and everyone if he stands up to his wife. I sure hope so. This is a family sinking quick. When we say brother in law this weekend, during a brief time alone with him, I gave him a huge hug and told him that we are here if needs us, we know this is awful for him and the kids, and that we are his family no matter what steps he must take to protect him and the kids and maybe influence her to get the help she really needs. Maybe s/o calling him and having a long talk will help her husband be able to see that he CAN do this, he CAN reclaim his life and protect him and the children. That he CAN still love her even when forced into giving a ultimatum. </p><p></p><p>As for being willing to back what we say we will do, s/o and I are very much okay with following through. Especially with calling police if she is driving in that condition. This big car wreck and the other two car incidents just show she is going to kill herself, kill some other innocent person, kill her children, or injure. S/O is going to suggest that her husband remove her from the car insurance and give the car to their teen daughter to use as she's a good driver and she has reasons she needs either access to a vehicle or a ride. Her mother has no business behind a wheel period. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 352190, member: 4264"] Thanks for responding. We have been watching intervention and another new one (forget the name) alot over the past year. It has been really helpful in many ways. It is ironic you mention the show. We've had several conversations with s/o's mother about his sisters issues and we had one again about an hour after she tried to hock us the perfume on Sat. night and after s/o spoke with her husband. His mother called and after a few minutes chit chat, asked if we had recently seen K, how does she seem, etc. I hedged. Asked if SHE had spoken to her recently, how did SHE think she was doing etc. His mother said she knew K had not at all quit using and in fact seemed worse than ever. Whew!! I hate to tell a senior that her daughter is at this point a lying actively using drug addict. Since she knew, s/o and I let it ALL out with her on the phone. She did too. Informed us she had learned K is doctor shopping the walk in clinics in town and has been labelled at many which she now can't use. Also that she is taking and abusing some hard core sleeping pills. Great. During that conversation my mother in law mentioned that K's husband needs to do xyz (threaten divorce, file seperation, cut off her money supply etc). I took a pretty firm tone. I said I agree, but that her husband also only has this family, none of his own. He wants to do something more than fighting with his wife, but I know he feels very alone and is uncertain if he'll lose the whole family. I told my mother in law that we all have talked and talked for a long time now about what could be done, should be done, someone else should do etc. And that quite frankly it is past the point that there is anything new to add to THAT dialogue. I told her I firmly believe, as does my s/o, that as a family everyone at this stage must stand up together. Be united. Her kids are old enough and involved enough, that they should be there as well. And that we really need to pee or get off the pot so to speak. She didn't seem to like the word intervention at first. Oh well. I told her that s/o and I are more than willing to arrive at her home, along with her husband and children, along with mother in law and the other brother who lives near mother in law and could easily take her here for a day trip, and sit down with K and lay it on the line. Each of us telling what we will no longer do (money, listening, seeing her when high etc) and what will be doing (calling police for driving under influence, whatever steps her husband decides on, etc). Her mother seems receptive now and actually was very on board by the end of the conversation. The thing is, s/o mentioned right away how unfortunatly his mother can easily (and always does) go back to sticking her head in the sand. She is very wrapped up in this daughters life and hates to "ruffle" her daughter. It is a huge annoyance and upset to my s/o. So we can't really count on her to follow through despite s/o telling her blatantly that how on earth can we all cry at her funeral after some overdose or car wreck, when none of us had the guts to stand together and put firm consequences in place that might force her to rock bottom and to wanting to get help. (Proud of my s/o for saying that to his mom, they are close and it was hard for him to be so blunt, but it was for sure overdue). I do know that s/o is going to be contacting his brother in law this week via telephone and offering to participate in a intervention if he so chooses. I don't know if our support towards her husband will be enough emotional support for him to feel he won't be losing everything and everyone if he stands up to his wife. I sure hope so. This is a family sinking quick. When we say brother in law this weekend, during a brief time alone with him, I gave him a huge hug and told him that we are here if needs us, we know this is awful for him and the kids, and that we are his family no matter what steps he must take to protect him and the kids and maybe influence her to get the help she really needs. Maybe s/o calling him and having a long talk will help her husband be able to see that he CAN do this, he CAN reclaim his life and protect him and the children. That he CAN still love her even when forced into giving a ultimatum. As for being willing to back what we say we will do, s/o and I are very much okay with following through. Especially with calling police if she is driving in that condition. This big car wreck and the other two car incidents just show she is going to kill herself, kill some other innocent person, kill her children, or injure. S/O is going to suggest that her husband remove her from the car insurance and give the car to their teen daughter to use as she's a good driver and she has reasons she needs either access to a vehicle or a ride. Her mother has no business behind a wheel period. :( [/QUOTE]
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