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Anybody with pill addiction experiences, advice???
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 352222" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Mattsmom, I'm so sorry that you and your S/O are having to deal with this. Addiction is ugly and evil. You've already received some excellent advice from the others, but I was thinking about what you can do when your sister in law shows up unannounced and unexpected at your door. Years ago when I was in university I had an ex-boyfriend who used to get rip-snorting drunk and then come thump on my apartment door in the middle of the night. Sometimes he'd be jolly, sometimes weepy and sometimes enraged, but in any case he was a big and scary guy, and I didn't want to deal with him whatever his state. What I used to do was rehearse some calming non-committal thing to say, such as "I'm sorry. This isn't a good time." I practiced and practiced the phrase, said it out loud over and over and over, until it became automatic. The next time he showed up, I just said through the door, "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time." I kept repeating it and repeating it until he went away. It took a few tries, and my neighbour calling the police on him once or twice, but he got the message and stopped coming around.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if you and your S/O could do something similar. Think of a simple phrase, the shorter the better, that you can say to her when she comes around. Something like. "I hope you're able to figure something out." Or "That's too bad." Or "This isn't a good time." Or whatever else fits the situation. I know there's a list of Detachment 101 phrases somewhere in the archive. I will look it up and post the link. Whatever phrases you come up with, you and S/O both need to practice them. Say them out loud, try different inflections, say them with silly accents, say them over and over until they feel totally natural. What you're doing is building a neural pathway so that when you're looking for something to say, one of those phrases will quickly bubble up to the top of your mind. You won't be tongue-tied or caught short, and you'll have something to say that will hopefully de-escalate the situation and make her go away sooner. If it doesn't make her go away, you can phone the police and report her for intoxicated in public (which, I believe, is against the law in our province). </p><p></p><p>Don't forget. You have no obligation to let her into your house or even open the door. Make it clear that you don't want her in your home or near your children when she's high, and stop letting her take up your time.</p><p></p><p>Sending many hugs and support.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 352222, member: 3907"] Mattsmom, I'm so sorry that you and your S/O are having to deal with this. Addiction is ugly and evil. You've already received some excellent advice from the others, but I was thinking about what you can do when your sister in law shows up unannounced and unexpected at your door. Years ago when I was in university I had an ex-boyfriend who used to get rip-snorting drunk and then come thump on my apartment door in the middle of the night. Sometimes he'd be jolly, sometimes weepy and sometimes enraged, but in any case he was a big and scary guy, and I didn't want to deal with him whatever his state. What I used to do was rehearse some calming non-committal thing to say, such as "I'm sorry. This isn't a good time." I practiced and practiced the phrase, said it out loud over and over and over, until it became automatic. The next time he showed up, I just said through the door, "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time." I kept repeating it and repeating it until he went away. It took a few tries, and my neighbour calling the police on him once or twice, but he got the message and stopped coming around. I wonder if you and your S/O could do something similar. Think of a simple phrase, the shorter the better, that you can say to her when she comes around. Something like. "I hope you're able to figure something out." Or "That's too bad." Or "This isn't a good time." Or whatever else fits the situation. I know there's a list of Detachment 101 phrases somewhere in the archive. I will look it up and post the link. Whatever phrases you come up with, you and S/O both need to practice them. Say them out loud, try different inflections, say them with silly accents, say them over and over until they feel totally natural. What you're doing is building a neural pathway so that when you're looking for something to say, one of those phrases will quickly bubble up to the top of your mind. You won't be tongue-tied or caught short, and you'll have something to say that will hopefully de-escalate the situation and make her go away sooner. If it doesn't make her go away, you can phone the police and report her for intoxicated in public (which, I believe, is against the law in our province). Don't forget. You have no obligation to let her into your house or even open the door. Make it clear that you don't want her in your home or near your children when she's high, and stop letting her take up your time. Sending many hugs and support. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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