Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Anyone else feel quite like this?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Babbs" data-source="post: 72283" data-attributes="member: 3820"><p>OMG I sooo remember those days with my son. I would stand toe to toe with him and just give it back to him as good as he would dish it out. I look back now and am sooo thankful that I've been able to change how I set up situations which before would automatically lead to a rage. Also, I worked hard on changing my response to his reactions. Sure, my son still rages and still cries and still tantrums, however my reaction has changed which makes it easier for me to deal with and I've noticed it also has reduced the amount of time he rages.</p><p></p><p>One of the biggest changes I did was to stop verbalizing with him. I'd get into these big discussions with him. His therapist had the best advice for me. After I've given him a direction and he begins to argue about it, whatever, I stop, look him right in the eye, and state "What did I say?" I refuse to say anything else until he can repeat what I said. I found out that for my son, he wasn't hearing most of the verbal message. Wow. He was missing like 60% or more of it. Oh big Wow. It really made me change how I gave him directions and change the length of sentences I'd speak to him at once before requesting him to rephrase it for me.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child's therapist helped me and my SO understand that my son likes the stimulation of an argument - for many AD/HD kids a good heated argument and temper tantrum is just as stimulating as a face paced video game! Basically he'd argue for the sake of argument - and he knew that I'd get into it with him. It's kind of funny, after I stopped getting into verbal confrontations with him, he started engaging in them with my SO - he wasn't getting his fix with me so he started on the other adult in the household!</p><p></p><p>The other big change for me was when my difficult child began to read. Now I can post lists for chores, lists for directions, etc. It has taken so much pressure off of me - I can just state "read the list". Having a list of "rules" helped too - gave me a quick "what's the rule?" out instead of engaging in negotiation or debate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Babbs, post: 72283, member: 3820"] OMG I sooo remember those days with my son. I would stand toe to toe with him and just give it back to him as good as he would dish it out. I look back now and am sooo thankful that I've been able to change how I set up situations which before would automatically lead to a rage. Also, I worked hard on changing my response to his reactions. Sure, my son still rages and still cries and still tantrums, however my reaction has changed which makes it easier for me to deal with and I've noticed it also has reduced the amount of time he rages. One of the biggest changes I did was to stop verbalizing with him. I'd get into these big discussions with him. His therapist had the best advice for me. After I've given him a direction and he begins to argue about it, whatever, I stop, look him right in the eye, and state "What did I say?" I refuse to say anything else until he can repeat what I said. I found out that for my son, he wasn't hearing most of the verbal message. Wow. He was missing like 60% or more of it. Oh big Wow. It really made me change how I gave him directions and change the length of sentences I'd speak to him at once before requesting him to rephrase it for me. My difficult child's therapist helped me and my SO understand that my son likes the stimulation of an argument - for many AD/HD kids a good heated argument and temper tantrum is just as stimulating as a face paced video game! Basically he'd argue for the sake of argument - and he knew that I'd get into it with him. It's kind of funny, after I stopped getting into verbal confrontations with him, he started engaging in them with my SO - he wasn't getting his fix with me so he started on the other adult in the household! The other big change for me was when my difficult child began to read. Now I can post lists for chores, lists for directions, etc. It has taken so much pressure off of me - I can just state "read the list". Having a list of "rules" helped too - gave me a quick "what's the rule?" out instead of engaging in negotiation or debate. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Anyone else feel quite like this?
Top