anyone have any experience with boot camps???

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by peg2, May 29, 2007.

  1. peg2

    peg2 Member

    I go on the site occasionally and thank everyone for past advice!!! Some might remember me, 17 year old ODD son. Briefly, has been in 2 residential/group home placements, came home from 2nd one last August. Main issue is defiancy/school, refuses to follow rules and says he can do what he wants. Anyway, he just turned 17, first placed at age 12. No real diagnosis other than ODD, Impusle control. No medications now, was on them,doesn't need them now. Anyway, I've tried it all, therapy,etc. Son refuses nay treatment now. Goes to school, but not on time and when he feels like it. hangs out with friends until 9:30 or 10 every night, maybe some drugs, but I don't suspect much.OK until confronted, then says he wants to be left alone, if left alone, says things will be quiet. Told him not how it works here! Step-dad issues also. I don't want him living with me(no,there are no alternatives), he doesn't want to be here either. Has anyone used those boot camps, I mean, where somwonw comes in in the middle of the night to take the kid? He has money in an acct. from my mom so it would probably pay for some of it. Any other suggestions, he won't go anywhere voluntarily, such as Job Corps. I really hate is attitude, told me today he hopes I would die. Also, badgers me constantly, calling on phone 15 and 20 times. I really want him out of my house, but have exhausted all my resources here in New jersey. Would like a boot camp in or near my state.
    Thanks in advance. Peg
  2. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    I don't have experience with any BOOT CAMPS, but that was one of the alternatives suggested to us by our difficult child's therapist. Together as a team, we have opted NOT to use a "BOOT CAMP" or "WILDERNESS CAMP" program just yet, we are going to try the "Equestrian Therapy" route first, and send our difficult child to a "horse camp/ranch" and see how she does there. I have heard that these horse ranches are just as effective and much less threatening to the adolescents. I don't know what there is along these lines available on the east coast, our difficult child is going to attend one here in Illinois, but there is a website from one of these ranches in Utah that has a LOT of helpful information about how these camps are structured and how they help. It is the Turnabout Ranch. This is NOT the one our difficult child will be going to, but as I said, they do have some great information about how these sorts of camps work. I have promised several parents on this site that I would update everyone on this process and how the program works for us, so there will be more information to follow soon, once we get things set up and I get a bit more information from the camp coordinator.
  3. peg2

    peg2 Member

    Thanks for the info. I guess not too many of you have tried/thought about these "camps". I have read the boot camp is not laways the way to go-too military and too much yelling. But is a wilderness camp any different, not exactly what my child is used to living like!!Anyway, I have read that info. on the internet, but the ones I read about are close to Utah,etc. I am scared to death to have my child so far away!!! Who can one speak to or correspond with to verify they are legit. and safe? I need easy access and am used to having day to day contact with my child and staff. I know they are expensive(that's an understatement) but my son has money put away for him, which would probably pay for 3 months!!! Anyway, where do you think I could go to actually talk to parents who have used these camps. I need to speak to a real person who has used a place like that. thanks for any help, this seems to be a topic not too many are familiar with.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'd strongly recommend finding an educational consultant who can help you place your son in an appropriate program. There are good programs and bad programs out there. in my humble opinion, you can't be too careful about choosing the right one. Good luck.
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Our son went to a "Wilderness Camp" and I do think it helped him. He only went for about 8 weeks, but it was effective for the brief time he was there. I frankly don't think he was there long enough. It was the programs he went to after that he ran from, so maybe the WC wasn't that effective, who knows? When he went the program was located in Utah, but I see now they have a location in South Carolina. He really connected with the therapist there and still occasionally emails the guy. Our son was a difficult case because he can stay within the "normal" guidelines for awhile, then its almost like he slingshots out of the boundaries. So he can cope with a program, then they okay his release and he goes off the deepend.

    The other difficult spot you will be in is 17 yr. olds--quickly approaching 18 so some places may be reluctant to take him if they don't think they can effect a change in him before he turns 18, he can leave at 18. I also wouldn't worry about a program close to you as you won't get to visit until the least that's the way it used to be. If there is any chance he would run it would also be better to be farther away, since he would call friends, anyone who could help him with transportation to the area he knows....frankly, don't know that I would go this route with him, but I don't know your particulars.
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    in a boot camp you would not have day to day contact with him. once you place him some RTCs do not want you to see him at all for a month.

    it sounds like you are angry enough to send him to one, but you will still want control over the situation by having feedback and input. those places do not work that way.

    if he has not broken the law, you would be paying quite a bit for it. ant was in glenmills school near philly for two yrs. we paid 3000.00 and that was only a part of it, the county paid the rest.

    do you have a relative who would take him in for the summer to get a break for both of you?
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    We had my son in a wilderness program for 16 months when he was younger. They took them up to age 16. It wasnt a boot camp type program however.

    Now looking back on it and knowing what my sons diagnosis is now, I think a boot camp would have been a better choice for him.
  8. branbran

    branbran New Member

    We have a program where I live called The Sanctuary. No questions asked, it's respite for you and your child. They can stay for up to 21 days, go the school and therapy and they go on trips, (movies, mall, out to eat, etc.) You can have contact with your child. It is really just to give your family a break from all the madness. And it's FREE. I don't know if there is anything like that in your neck of the woods. It is in no way a permanent living situation, but when you can't take anymore you can at least have a short "vacation". You might want to see if there is anything like that in NJ. I'm in NY, it would be worth the drive. :smile:
  9. peg2

    peg2 Member

    Thanks to all of you for your thoughts on this. Why me mom, what way would you go if you were me. How did you hear about the wilderness camp and how did you know if was safe and reliable, no abuse,etc.? I'm not sure that is the way either, from professional and personal experience I know something just clicks in these teens and it just happens,takes awhile sometimes. That repsite thing sounds nice but that isn;t for him, wants to be here,work and hang with the friends. OK with me because he needs to work and earn $. He does want to live somewhere else, but has 1 year of hs left and has been moved around to so many schools, he needs the consistency here. Could live with my older son(only 21 though) but I don;t want to shove the problem on him. Still needs transportation,etc. and that is my responsibility. I told him boot camp might be his only choice and he listened, we will see how much change there is. I would like to know how I can find parents who have used a wilderness/boot camp facility. I understand I can't have contact, but I need to know he is safe somewhere and do not believe in isolation. They would need to be reported if there is any abuse/neglect going on. Could do more damage to the child.Any other suggestions would be appreciated.Thanks,Peg2
  10. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I sent you a PM so you may want to check for details on my experience.
  11. peg2

    peg2 Member

    Hi,WhymeMom. I sent you a PM, but am not very good at navigating and computers. Please let me know you received it. Thanks,Peg
  12. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    peg, I didn't get it....if you go up to the top of the page to My Stuff if you click on it you will see My Messages. You should have a message from me in there and then go to the bottom and reply. I should then be able to see it.

    Sometimes just getting kids out of their environment helps them to figure out there are better ways to handle things. We also had problems with alcohol, drugs?, and theft. You may not even need this program. Maybe a summer program would work for you...
  13. peg2

    peg2 Member

    Hi, I tried it again, please let me know you received it, if not, I will ask my husband fo rhelp. Thanks