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General Parenting
Anyone turned a child over to the state??
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<blockquote data-quote="mollyzuzu" data-source="post: 731988" data-attributes="member: 21853"><p>Hi there Georgia Mom, I have had a similar instance with our adopted son from Ukraine. We adopted him at age 3.5 years and has been in therapy and been seeing all kinds of doctors since age 5. Every diagnosis in the books, think they could write a book. He got into the drug scene about 4 years ago. We found out 3 years ago. He was a danger to himself in the fact that he always took too much of any drug he got his hands on an we wound up at the enmergency room almost twice a month. It got to the point where we put him into a Mental hospital on a third party form. He was committed for 4 months, came out. Was home for one month and back in ER, back to Hospital. Came out, went to ER, then went to intensive inpatient for 21 days. Husband and I waved the white flag and said to social workers asigned to son "we cannot keep this boy safe any longer, we need you to help and put him into residential, make him a ward of the state if you need to to get him the care that he needs". We actaully thought we were going to have to make him a ward of the state. But, their demands were to put him in rehab for a month or so and they would look for a therapeutic foster home or group home in the mean time. He came out of rehab that it took forever to find covered by insurance for a teen abfter 45 days and social workers were not able to find a therapeutic foster home OR a group home that would accept him. He went to shelter care staright from rehab and stayed there until they found a group home for him. It was a thing where they had to work fast as the courts did not want him sitting in shelter care for too long. So, social work had to take what ever came first. He is now in a group home 300 miles away from us. We are calming down. He is learning how to live in this world by someone else, unfortunatlley. Wished it was us, but if he had stayed with us much longer, he most likely would be in a pine box by now. He has been in the group home since November and may be able to leave sometime in August depending on how much he has learned. He is now 16.5 years old.</p><p></p><p>My advice to you, tell social work you CANNOT keep him safe any longer, and if it means making him a ward of the state, then so be it. My son is not a ward of the state, but we do pay child support monthly for him to live in the group home. Even if he were a ward of the state, we would need to pay child support until he is 18. He may not be able to come back and live in our home, but he can visit. Hope some of this helps? It is a LONNNGG process to get help and the help that you actually need as well as your son. But remember, the SQUEEKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE, as my daddy always said, I SQUEEKED AND SQUEEKED until I thought I could squeek no more. Hugs and best of wishes to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mollyzuzu, post: 731988, member: 21853"] Hi there Georgia Mom, I have had a similar instance with our adopted son from Ukraine. We adopted him at age 3.5 years and has been in therapy and been seeing all kinds of doctors since age 5. Every diagnosis in the books, think they could write a book. He got into the drug scene about 4 years ago. We found out 3 years ago. He was a danger to himself in the fact that he always took too much of any drug he got his hands on an we wound up at the enmergency room almost twice a month. It got to the point where we put him into a Mental hospital on a third party form. He was committed for 4 months, came out. Was home for one month and back in ER, back to Hospital. Came out, went to ER, then went to intensive inpatient for 21 days. Husband and I waved the white flag and said to social workers asigned to son "we cannot keep this boy safe any longer, we need you to help and put him into residential, make him a ward of the state if you need to to get him the care that he needs". We actaully thought we were going to have to make him a ward of the state. But, their demands were to put him in rehab for a month or so and they would look for a therapeutic foster home or group home in the mean time. He came out of rehab that it took forever to find covered by insurance for a teen abfter 45 days and social workers were not able to find a therapeutic foster home OR a group home that would accept him. He went to shelter care staright from rehab and stayed there until they found a group home for him. It was a thing where they had to work fast as the courts did not want him sitting in shelter care for too long. So, social work had to take what ever came first. He is now in a group home 300 miles away from us. We are calming down. He is learning how to live in this world by someone else, unfortunatlley. Wished it was us, but if he had stayed with us much longer, he most likely would be in a pine box by now. He has been in the group home since November and may be able to leave sometime in August depending on how much he has learned. He is now 16.5 years old. My advice to you, tell social work you CANNOT keep him safe any longer, and if it means making him a ward of the state, then so be it. My son is not a ward of the state, but we do pay child support monthly for him to live in the group home. Even if he were a ward of the state, we would need to pay child support until he is 18. He may not be able to come back and live in our home, but he can visit. Hope some of this helps? It is a LONNNGG process to get help and the help that you actually need as well as your son. But remember, the SQUEEKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE, as my daddy always said, I SQUEEKED AND SQUEEKED until I thought I could squeek no more. Hugs and best of wishes to you. [/QUOTE]
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