Hey guys, I could use some advice. I have a 12 year old son. I have been having problems with him since he was 5. They have escalated over time and now I need answers from those who have taken the next step. My son has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and even anti-social personality disorder, even though they claim he is too young to fully give that diagnosis. (A few other things thrown in as well.) I have tried every recommendation that I have been given from doctors, therapists, counselors, etc. Nothing works. 99% of them all say, after working with him, that he needs residential treatment, but none are willing to take that next step to start the paperwork, they all just give me a referral form. His insurance is no help, and will only send me a new list of doctors to exhaust. He is medicated, but that only takes the edge off. These are his main issues: He hurts his 6 year old sister. When he gets mad, he takes it out on her. He hits her, he kicks her, he pushes her down, he pulls her hair, he throws things at her and says the most awful things to her. We have to monitor his interactions with her but I simply cannot be everywhere 24 hours a day, and he takes advantage of that. When she was 2, he broke into my locked gun cabinet, stole my gun and tried to shoot her, the bullet came one inch from her foot. (Yes, everything has been removed from my house now that we have seen that locks clearly dont matter) He has told every therapist and doctor that he wants her gone. He says that he hates her so much that he wants to go back to life as an only child. I am afraid of the results of when the hormones will kick in and he gets stronger along with it. He has made it clear that he has a dislike for women, mainly my 6 year old and myself. He steals. He will take any and everything that he wants. It started with things around the house and turned into things from friends at school to things from public places and stores. Each and every time i havr caught him in a public place (Walmart, Joanns, etc) I have taken him to loss prevention and asked them to press charges, but they wont due to his age. They only give him a speech and send him on his way. He gets in trouble at school. He has gotten into a couple small fights but mostly his school issues consist of knocking over desks, refusing to do work, lying, putting his head down in class as a way of not doing work, being disrespectful towards teachers or other students, wont stay in his desk, and one of his last incidents, he got in trouble at school and came home and told us that the teachers involved, as well as the students involved, would be sorry and "pay" for messing with him when he returned to school. I quickly called the police but nothing was done except to give him a speech about always doing the right thing and being on his best behavior. They did however notify his school resource officer and after speaking to his principal, he did get 4 days of ISS, not anything close to what he deserved in my opinion. He is completely defiant at home. No matter what we say to do, he does the complete opposite or doesnt do anything at all. He talks to me like I am the scum of the earth. When I try to punish him, he laughs. And we do follow through with whatever we say we are going to do so he doesnt think that we have empty threats. We have installed an alarm on his door so we can monitor his coming and going. We have had to nail his windows shut because he has climbed out of his windows, across the roof, to get to his 6 year old sisters room. We have installed video cameras so we can try to catch anything that he does so we have proof. He is completely manipulative and knows how to play the system really well. He will smile at your face while stabbing you in the back. He has had his teachers call DFACS and tell them that we beat him on a daily basis and of course they come out & there is no marks so he finally says he just wanted to get out of doing homework. He lies to no end to make himself look like a victim when he has never known abuse, neglect, what its like to go without or to have a bad life. He has been hospitalized 3 times in the last year. During his intake, I will sit there and break down and tell them everything, why hes out of control, how he hurts others, the stealing etc. He will sit there with a smile on his face and he is honest and says that everything is the truth. They release him 4 to 5 days later always telling me that they dont see any behaviors that would require hospitalization because he knows exactly what to say or how to act to get out of situations that he doesnt want to be in. I am exhausted. My every day life has me so nervous and popping advil like they are skittles for the headaches he causes. I am so very scared of what he will do from moment to moment and also as he grows, what he will do. I fear for my 6 year old the most because she is so little and cant defend herself. I have broken down and asked his biological Dads brother for help and to take him but he was no help. I figured that at at least if i gave him to someone that he trusted he would have a more positive outcome as well as his uncles background in law enforcement that it would be the backbone that was needed to actually turn him into a good citizen, but he turned me down. The police, as well as his pediatrician, mentioned handing him over to the state so that they could get him the correct help that he needs with their resources. Has anyone ever done that? Could you tell me how you started the process and who you contacted and what you said? Did you feel like it had the positive outcome that you needed? I just need to think a iut the safety and mental health of everyone involved, not just him. Any advice would be very helpful!! Thank you in advance.