today I gave myself a headache! Well, I went to the school for the appointment with the Guidance officer (on behalf of cherub); the principal was also there. Background: The school is a one teacher/principal school - with two teacher aides and a part time teacher. They also have a music, instrument, sports and German teacher (separate people) come in once a week. There are currently 17 students, one of whom is cherub. The school is five minutes from my house by car. The guidance officer (male) began by introducing himself and giving a little technical stuff about his role. He has the file from her previous school. Our school is in a different district. He hasn't read it properly yet, as he only received it a little before the meeting. he asked me to describe positive and negatives of cherub. After my weekend with her, that was a little one sided! We'd had a few challenges! Then he asked the same of the principal/teacher. She has a number of issues, not the least of which is the toiletting problem. Now that there is a lso a prep student in the classroom, she has some challenges with keeping cherub on task with her work, she wants to do the prep work, which is much more fun - it's a play to learn program. The teacher wants her to aspire more to the Grade 3 students (cherub is chronologically grade 2). Challenges for the teacher are; constant attention seeking; needs one to one to stay on task, literally, cherub has to be jollied along for every letter or stroke of her work; cannot work independently at all; constantly interrupts; speaks inappropriately (meaning not in context); can't form sentences that make sense; she actually speaks rather dyslexically (says: what I may do?) and when corrected, does it again!; has no protective behaviours - will hug anybody, male or female, even if it's the first time she's met them (on weekend jumped into my girlfriend's husband's arms and remained there in a monkey grip when he went to give a brief hug); the principal actually pointed out that she was shocked on the first day of school when she had to toilet cherub and when it came to wiping bottom, cherub just bent over and presented her bottom for wiping!; she has no stranger danger - will walk up to anyone in supermarket, street etc and start a conversation; her conversation can often not be understood as it doesn't make sense; will wander away from school/class (this was in old school); doesn't play appropriately - won't wait turns, begs for ball or just takes it etc.; her numeracy and literacy skills are very poor about a prep level; no seeming memory retention; tantrums when doesn't get her own way, or is asked to toilet, or doesn't want to do things (rag doll attitude); The principal finds her a challenge, her teacher aides apparently are not happy about having to toilet/clean her up and are threatening legal action - something to do with unions, allowances, health and safety etc. The guidance officer then pointed out that cherub could go to another school in the district, on a bus each day that has a special education unit and teacher aides trained in the toileting; there are visiting OTs, etc (though he was unsure about how regularly) similar to what she's come from. His words, 'she can catch the bus, be at school all day and you can have a life' (I was already indignant at that phrase 'have a life') However, it's your choice as a parent whether you want to change her school. The principal was really hoping that I would say yes. I said no. I want her to stay where she is, in a more homely environment, closer to home, where i can be involved by choice (and necessity), and bring the therapists to her - seek for the funding needed, whatever is deemed appropriate and her right - get for her at this school. So, that's where we left it. He went away to do his figures, data processing etc. And said I can have a copy of any of the file I want - so I asked for all of it - and he would get back to me as soon as he had soem answers. In the meantime, the teacher aides could not clean cherub up at the school, I have to go up there, it's part of the union rules or something as they don't get the extra allowance for it. I went home with a terrible headache, and my face all broke out. An hour later, and he'd already set things in motion for reassessment of cherub at the school and was on to the Ed Dept about getting our teacher aides whatever allowance they need to continue with the toiletting process of cherub. As soon as I have a copy of the file, I can then hopefully set in motion the process for having it reviewed or reassessed and get some outside therapies for her. I'm considering homeschooling her now, but not until I have that file, which I won't be entitlted to if I pull her out straightaway. Once I have some outside therapies in place, I think I could cope withthe whole thing, and she'd have a better chance of catching up to her potential. If the teacher is expecting her to aspire to the grade ahead of her chronogological age, rather than treating her at the level she is capable of, then how is she ever going to get a sense of achievement? It's all too hard right now for her. What do you think? Any suggestions please?