This post may ramble a bit, but I'm thinking 'out loud' here. difficult child comes to me with various complaints (can't sleep, etc), but systematically rejects any possible remedies out of hand. Her response is usually, "It doesn't work. Why don't you ever listen to me?! I've told you it doesn't work." And we're talking about things that I've witnessed working, but just like the lexapro and therapy SHE either doesn't see it or doesn't want to. For me, the fact that she says they don't work when I know they do is only part of the issue. The biggest issue is that she refuses to help herself. I told her last night that she must be the only person in the world that nothing works for. I told her that doing nothing obviously wasn't working so why not try something else. I explained that she has to be willing to help herself. Of course, she covered her ears and hunched down and said I was yelling at her when I wasn't even raising my voice. My tone was stern, but that's it. It was a combination of the tone and the fact that I wasn't babying her that she didn't like. Now, what I think she is really looking for is sympathy. And, while I understand that and do offer sympathy, it's only to a certain degree. I'm not going to continue to offer sympathy to someone that is completely unwilling to try to help themselves. That's just not who I am. I will tell her I'm sorry she's feeling so bad. I will commiserate how hard it is to do this or that. But I don't go for wallowing and that's what she wants. She wants to wallow in how bad she has it and how no one has it as bad as her. She doesn't want to do the work. I see SO much of my aunt in her and I do not want her to live her life like that. I want her to want to help herself. I know that most of you think I should force the medications no matter what. Believe me, it would be much easier if I did. But if she doesn't see a need for them, this pattern will continue. Even if she takes the medications for years, without therapy - which will be of no benefit if she is an unwilling participant - it's only a partial fix and by no means permanent. If she doesn't see a need for help now, she will be dealing with this well into adulthood and once she's no longer under my care...I don't know. I even had my son - who NEVER agrees with difficult child - telling me that difficult child just wants me to sympathize with her and I don't do that. Instead, I'm offering suggestions on what to do and that's not what she's wanting to hear. Well, I know from experience that all the sympathy in the world isn't going to fix anything or make one feel better for any length of time. I don't invalidate difficult child, but I can only hear the same complaints over and over for so many years before enough is enough. DO something about it or shut up. She's had access to many resources in order to be able to do something about it. Maybe I'm too harsh. But she's not going to get better by me allowing her to wallow in her own misery that is partially self-inflicted by refusing medications and therapy. And I'm not going to allow someone who is refusing to help themselves pour their misery onto me and expect me to feel bad. I don't feel bad. If the medications weren't working or the therapy wasn't working, then I would. But I don't feel bad when you've essentially brought this on yourself by refusing to do anything to even try to get better. Told ya I was going to ramble.