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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 355005" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Perfect Stepto2!!! Yes, some of our difficult child's, mine included, try to make the decisions parent's should be making. I think some tdocs make that more difficult as their work is for the child - what does the child want? What will make the child's life easier? It takes a fine line to balance when allowing the child to be a person but at the same time respecting the parent as the parent. My diva visted a therapist who pretty much told us we should let HER set up the family's night time schedule. Ummm - NO!!! I can take her needs into consideration but it is the parent's right to set up that schedule. That therapist admitted that working with children was not his thing so what he was doing was treating her like an adult who he had to help get control of their own life by setting up their daily schedules, ect.</p><p> </p><p>Like Flutterby, I will often times say what I think needs to be said even if I know difficult child will be mad. I usually want difficult child to show his anger toward me in the therapist session so that therapist sees what I am dealing with. Those sessions are for working out emotions and therapist will not understand some if he/she doesn't witness them.</p><p> </p><p>I also let difficult child know ahead of time what I plan on bringing up if it is a major incident. If he says "No, I don't want therapist to know that!", then I make sure it gets brought up. These sessions are not suppose to be super easy for him all the time. I figure if we went in and everything was always "fine" than it is a waste of everyone's time. There are kids in crisis that could have used that time. Might as well use it as it is intended to work on issues. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 355005, member: 5096"] Perfect Stepto2!!! Yes, some of our difficult child's, mine included, try to make the decisions parent's should be making. I think some tdocs make that more difficult as their work is for the child - what does the child want? What will make the child's life easier? It takes a fine line to balance when allowing the child to be a person but at the same time respecting the parent as the parent. My diva visted a therapist who pretty much told us we should let HER set up the family's night time schedule. Ummm - NO!!! I can take her needs into consideration but it is the parent's right to set up that schedule. That therapist admitted that working with children was not his thing so what he was doing was treating her like an adult who he had to help get control of their own life by setting up their daily schedules, ect. Like Flutterby, I will often times say what I think needs to be said even if I know difficult child will be mad. I usually want difficult child to show his anger toward me in the therapist session so that therapist sees what I am dealing with. Those sessions are for working out emotions and therapist will not understand some if he/she doesn't witness them. I also let difficult child know ahead of time what I plan on bringing up if it is a major incident. If he says "No, I don't want therapist to know that!", then I make sure it gets brought up. These sessions are not suppose to be super easy for him all the time. I figure if we went in and everything was always "fine" than it is a waste of everyone's time. There are kids in crisis that could have used that time. Might as well use it as it is intended to work on issues. :) [/QUOTE]
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