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Argh!!! Really, husband???
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 367854" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I don't truly think cgfg is truly his favorite. But her behaviors, if he ignores them, aren't in his face. Therefore, he can successfully ignore them. Wee's don't go away if you pretend they aren't there. He is in your face and pushing your buttons. And I don't think husband truly understands that Wee's behaviors are no more in his control than husband's lack of fluent reading skills are in his... Wee wears on him, and Sunday, husband wanted to sit around the house and do nothing, so I let him. I let him feel the pain of not giving Wee an outlet, so he was more annoyed than usual. You can give Wee something positive and constructive to do, or you can let him annoy the pee out of you by bouncing in your face all day long...I like to do things with the kids, but I don't always do this stuff because I <em>want</em> to... And Wee often takes a lot of time, so I do try to do occassional special things with cgfg. If it always equal or exactly fair? Probably not. But I try.</p><p> </p><p>husband would see cgfg if I wasn't around, altho his mother would likely step into my role. The diff would be that I doubt cgfg would want to participate as much as she does now because I'm the active one. I rarely let a day like Sunday happen because its counter-productive to everything, but husband's negativity started before then, so when he didn't want to do anything, I went along with it. I doubt he even noticed cgfg never even got dressed. </p><p> </p><p>husband is dyslexic, I'm sure. And his processing is not the fastest. BUT - in school, his mother chewed out anyone who suggested he might have a problem that could be helped, so, not only did he not get help, he got bailed out every step of the way. Still is, quite frankly. If he doesn't know how to do something (ie clean house, fix the car), that's a good enough reason to stop right there. Which is NOT helping interactions with Wee, or anything else. If he doesn't know how, end of story. Doesn't put forth the effort to learn.</p><p> </p><p>And, yes, getting rid of the tv would be a huge help. He uses it as an excuse to avoid the above... He's also a bit of a control freak, and even tho one of the things he loves me for is my independence, it also intimidates him. He feels a need to compete where our arenas cross. Doesn't help that his folks reinforce that everything is his and his alone, then he comes home to a reality that it isn't. I think that's why it bothers him so bad when I do a "farm chore" without him (easy child 1 and I moved cows by ourselves a couple weeks ago...husband is still not even remotely happy about it, even tho it was way past due and he was busy cutting his folks' hay and we thought we were helping him...) Depression likely fits into it, too, tho I believe it is a result and not the cause.</p><p> </p><p>Am I really too overbearing?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 367854, member: 1848"] I don't truly think cgfg is truly his favorite. But her behaviors, if he ignores them, aren't in his face. Therefore, he can successfully ignore them. Wee's don't go away if you pretend they aren't there. He is in your face and pushing your buttons. And I don't think husband truly understands that Wee's behaviors are no more in his control than husband's lack of fluent reading skills are in his... Wee wears on him, and Sunday, husband wanted to sit around the house and do nothing, so I let him. I let him feel the pain of not giving Wee an outlet, so he was more annoyed than usual. You can give Wee something positive and constructive to do, or you can let him annoy the pee out of you by bouncing in your face all day long...I like to do things with the kids, but I don't always do this stuff because I [I]want[/I] to... And Wee often takes a lot of time, so I do try to do occassional special things with cgfg. If it always equal or exactly fair? Probably not. But I try. husband would see cgfg if I wasn't around, altho his mother would likely step into my role. The diff would be that I doubt cgfg would want to participate as much as she does now because I'm the active one. I rarely let a day like Sunday happen because its counter-productive to everything, but husband's negativity started before then, so when he didn't want to do anything, I went along with it. I doubt he even noticed cgfg never even got dressed. husband is dyslexic, I'm sure. And his processing is not the fastest. BUT - in school, his mother chewed out anyone who suggested he might have a problem that could be helped, so, not only did he not get help, he got bailed out every step of the way. Still is, quite frankly. If he doesn't know how to do something (ie clean house, fix the car), that's a good enough reason to stop right there. Which is NOT helping interactions with Wee, or anything else. If he doesn't know how, end of story. Doesn't put forth the effort to learn. And, yes, getting rid of the tv would be a huge help. He uses it as an excuse to avoid the above... He's also a bit of a control freak, and even tho one of the things he loves me for is my independence, it also intimidates him. He feels a need to compete where our arenas cross. Doesn't help that his folks reinforce that everything is his and his alone, then he comes home to a reality that it isn't. I think that's why it bothers him so bad when I do a "farm chore" without him (easy child 1 and I moved cows by ourselves a couple weeks ago...husband is still not even remotely happy about it, even tho it was way past due and he was busy cutting his folks' hay and we thought we were helping him...) Depression likely fits into it, too, tho I believe it is a result and not the cause. Am I really too overbearing? [/QUOTE]
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Argh!!! Really, husband???
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