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<blockquote data-quote="Tired and Hopeful" data-source="post: 669381" data-attributes="member: 19623"><p>I can so much relate to all your feelings and experiences. Mine would mirror yours in many ways, except mine is a daughter and those fears of pregnancy came true, not once but twice. After 25 miserable years of moving in and out, living on couches, living with a myriad of different men who were awful, and a failed marriage, she left in a furious rage, dragging a 7 year old with her. That was awful. I did not know a human body had that many tears. We ended up with the child after a long and expensive court battle and he has so many issues at the age of 10 and his older brother, whom we also raised with legal guardianship is now 20 and has autism, but is making his way through college . It never gets easier. Daughter is now sober, but still full of accusations and rage. Sometimes all we can do is just say no. And if you have not had babies or small children thrown into the mix, thank your lucky stars and God above. For me, it just works best with little or no contact and I suspect that is the way it will always be. She has another failed marriage behind her and is in church three times a week, but her mantra over and over and over is that is always somebody elses fault. All you can do is hang in there. Quit blaming yourself....people make their own decisions and choices and they have to learn to live with it. Try to have fun once in awhile. Turn the phone off. Quit reading texts...ignore FB messages for awhile. You cannot solve their problems. You can love them, want the best for them, do your best do turn them into responsible citizens, but if you do not take care of yourself physically and emotionally you might not be around when they need you most. What I did with my frustration and pent up anxiety is to become a parent mentor for families of special education kids. But I just had to stop dwelling on what if, or what I should have done or what I might have done or what next awful thing might happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired and Hopeful, post: 669381, member: 19623"] I can so much relate to all your feelings and experiences. Mine would mirror yours in many ways, except mine is a daughter and those fears of pregnancy came true, not once but twice. After 25 miserable years of moving in and out, living on couches, living with a myriad of different men who were awful, and a failed marriage, she left in a furious rage, dragging a 7 year old with her. That was awful. I did not know a human body had that many tears. We ended up with the child after a long and expensive court battle and he has so many issues at the age of 10 and his older brother, whom we also raised with legal guardianship is now 20 and has autism, but is making his way through college . It never gets easier. Daughter is now sober, but still full of accusations and rage. Sometimes all we can do is just say no. And if you have not had babies or small children thrown into the mix, thank your lucky stars and God above. For me, it just works best with little or no contact and I suspect that is the way it will always be. She has another failed marriage behind her and is in church three times a week, but her mantra over and over and over is that is always somebody elses fault. All you can do is hang in there. Quit blaming yourself....people make their own decisions and choices and they have to learn to live with it. Try to have fun once in awhile. Turn the phone off. Quit reading texts...ignore FB messages for awhile. You cannot solve their problems. You can love them, want the best for them, do your best do turn them into responsible citizens, but if you do not take care of yourself physically and emotionally you might not be around when they need you most. What I did with my frustration and pent up anxiety is to become a parent mentor for families of special education kids. But I just had to stop dwelling on what if, or what I should have done or what I might have done or what next awful thing might happen. [/QUOTE]
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