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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 669387" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>This is a good thing Lil, it helps to keep you prepared. Also, try this; in your minds eye when you are going over what you will say to him, picture him as an adult, not a child. That made a huge difference for me when I stopped seeing my son as "my little boy"</p><p></p><p></p><p>So true!! Set strict boundaries right up front. Let him know where you stand.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Having your boundaries in place will help. Even if he does continue to expect more and more all you have to do is say a simple "NO" you do not owe him an explanation. If you tell him no and he asks why, you can simply say because that is the decision I have made period end of story.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Wow, what's mean is him expecting you to purchase a second meal just for him to take with him!!</p><p>I think you being willing to bring $10 worth of Ramen noodles is a nice gesture.</p><p></p><p></p><p>And that's the difference between helping and enabling. Of course if he was a "typical" child and not a Difficult Child he would be taking care of everything for himself.</p><p></p><p>Now that he's back in your area he is probably hoping to slip back into that old comfortable routine of you guys being there to "rescue" him. I think he will get the message pretty quickly that you guys are no longer going to do that. He very well may have a tantrum even accusing you of not loving him. Let him rant all he wants to then let it go........................</p><p></p><p>Hang in there you two!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 669387, member: 18516"] This is a good thing Lil, it helps to keep you prepared. Also, try this; in your minds eye when you are going over what you will say to him, picture him as an adult, not a child. That made a huge difference for me when I stopped seeing my son as "my little boy" So true!! Set strict boundaries right up front. Let him know where you stand. Having your boundaries in place will help. Even if he does continue to expect more and more all you have to do is say a simple "NO" you do not owe him an explanation. If you tell him no and he asks why, you can simply say because that is the decision I have made period end of story. Wow, what's mean is him expecting you to purchase a second meal just for him to take with him!! I think you being willing to bring $10 worth of Ramen noodles is a nice gesture. And that's the difference between helping and enabling. Of course if he was a "typical" child and not a Difficult Child he would be taking care of everything for himself. Now that he's back in your area he is probably hoping to slip back into that old comfortable routine of you guys being there to "rescue" him. I think he will get the message pretty quickly that you guys are no longer going to do that. He very well may have a tantrum even accusing you of not loving him. Let him rant all he wants to then let it go........................ Hang in there you two!!! [/QUOTE]
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