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General Parenting
As I Sit Here - UPDATED FROM COURT
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 24506" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>things I heard when ant was in the system (from the placement people as well as one judge):</p><p></p><p>well if you and your husband had done your job then you wouldnt be here.</p><p></p><p>you are over anxious and over protective (DUH you think so??? how about how I am scared from all my son's actions?? how about how I am quivering each time the phone rings or doorbell bringing bad news???)</p><p></p><p>your son thinks he is above the law (well, when I asked you people the first thousand times to enforce the law and make him accountable...you dropped the ball)</p><p></p><p>I found it horrid to be a parent in the courtroom and it got worse as he got older. I always felt like trash. the judge never asked me to speak. the first time he was in court my brother went there with me to hold me up. I fainted when I got home.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you had to go thru this. I suspect they are going to let your son out of the system soon as he is getting older and they have lots of younger kids coming up. they try a few yrs and when they run out of options they spit them back out if they have no success with the child. they make money on each child in the system. I would bet you pay child support while he is in there. I had to. I also had to fight to get ant back out of the system. it became a holding tank with no help after a while. </p><p></p><p>part of the blame is on our kids too. they do not get it when they are in trouble and the problem grows until they get in waaay over their heads dragging us into the mire. I am sure there are kids out there who learn from the mistakes they make and are truly helped by the system. perhaps it just wasnt the right path for some kids though. again...when the decision was made to put him in there, you made that decision based on his behavior and with the best intentions. dont beat yourself up over it. he is still your son and one day this will all be behind you. God bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 24506, member: 97"] things I heard when ant was in the system (from the placement people as well as one judge): well if you and your husband had done your job then you wouldnt be here. you are over anxious and over protective (DUH you think so??? how about how I am scared from all my son's actions?? how about how I am quivering each time the phone rings or doorbell bringing bad news???) your son thinks he is above the law (well, when I asked you people the first thousand times to enforce the law and make him accountable...you dropped the ball) I found it horrid to be a parent in the courtroom and it got worse as he got older. I always felt like trash. the judge never asked me to speak. the first time he was in court my brother went there with me to hold me up. I fainted when I got home. I am sorry you had to go thru this. I suspect they are going to let your son out of the system soon as he is getting older and they have lots of younger kids coming up. they try a few yrs and when they run out of options they spit them back out if they have no success with the child. they make money on each child in the system. I would bet you pay child support while he is in there. I had to. I also had to fight to get ant back out of the system. it became a holding tank with no help after a while. part of the blame is on our kids too. they do not get it when they are in trouble and the problem grows until they get in waaay over their heads dragging us into the mire. I am sure there are kids out there who learn from the mistakes they make and are truly helped by the system. perhaps it just wasnt the right path for some kids though. again...when the decision was made to put him in there, you made that decision based on his behavior and with the best intentions. dont beat yourself up over it. he is still your son and one day this will all be behind you. God bless. [/QUOTE]
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