As I Sit Here - UPDATED FROM COURT

[Janna]

in my office, an hour and a half before I leave to go to court, I feel very ill.

It's all anxiety. I'm getting ready to go into the pit of he*l with a bunch of people that think they know something and don't.

I'll have to sit there quietly and not say anything. I get my turn at the very, very end of the hearing, after everyone has said everything there is to say. Then, I have so much to say, so many lies to relate, so many truths he must know, I keep talking so long, the judge almost looks bored silly.

I have no idea what I want. I want my son to come home. That's what my heart wants, but my head knows better.

I despise the foster mother for ignorance. Allowing others to make her believe their stupid lies. The previous fosters were abusive. I'm a raging psychopath. My son is just so sweet and doesn't deserve what he's going through.

I get to have family counseling jammed down my throat again. Everyone insisting THIS is what is going to make it all better.

More lies.

Then more lies.

Then more manipulation.

Then a judge, who hasn't seen my son is 14 months, is going to make a decision.

My stomache is so sick. My head hurts. I cannot swallow, good for the diet I guess.

If I don't go, they will subpeona me. I don't want to go. I have to go.

If you've ever thought about putting your child in the system, read this post.

I will never, ever do this to Dylan. If he becomes a raging, stealing, lying, out of control maniac, I will deal with it before I put him in this system. Never again.

I cannot wait until this day is over :sad:

Janna

 

[LittleDudesMom]

:angel:
Janna,
at this point I will send you some big hugs and say a prayer that all goes well today.
Sharon

 

[tiredmommy]

Many gentle {{{hugs}}} for you. Try to think of us as being there with you. It may not make it easier, but at least you are not alone.

 

[Plate's_Full]

I am so sorry for your anxieties and I know it will be hard,but head up and strong put on your warrior face today adn battle for your son !! thats all you can do,the system fails some people some of the time and some of the time the failed teach the system a lesson and win !!! my qoute I should learn to put on my tag is "only way to prove them wrong,is to do well and succeed" My prayers are with you and all your triff's of the day,tomorrow will be the beginnning of a new page.

 

[mstang67chic]

Hugs. Yes, picture all of us there. A whole section in the court room of sphinx heads, Steven Tyler, Richard Gere, flowers, sunny suns, etc. All of us sitting there for YOU, supporting YOU, and thinking positive thoughts for YOU.

 

[Hound dog]

Janna

I will be sitting with you in spirit today. :warrior: We're all behind you.

Your anxiety is understandable.

Saying a prayer and sending ((((hugs)))

 

[wakeupcall]

Janna,have you seen the Verizon commercial on tv where the "network" stands behind the guy? You MUST know that we are all sitting and standing behind you. BE STRONG. Your mommy heart is hurting and we all feel it, but for now, you have to let your head rule. SOOOOO sorry you feel so badly, but I can't say as I blame you. I think I have learned alot from you and this situation. Thanks. Let us know how it goes today.

 

[SRL]

Prayers of peace in the midst of heartache for you, Janna.

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm praying that things go in the right direction, whatever it may be Janna. Even if it's not what you are looking for, I will pray for the RIGHT thing to happen for your son. I hope it works out.

Write down everything. Ask to speak to the judge in his office and show him all the proof that you have.

I hope it works out for you Janna. I'm praying for you today.

 

[house of cards]

Adding my support for this day. Every once in a while you run into a really wise judge...I've got all my body parts crossed that is so for you. And this particular foster mother isn't the first to have a "savior" complex, I imagine the judge has seen that as well.I hope you get the strength from the CD board and good things come about.

 

[busywend]

Janna, I am so sorry you have to do this.

Write everything down. Take a deep breathe and try to relate what you must in an unemotional tone. I know it seems silly and unfair and untrue, but it may be the only way you are heard. Heck you can even start by saying that.

I am wishing you an outcome that is best for you and your family. Just imagine us sitting on your shoulder with you today.

HUGS!

 

[totoro]

Janna, I am very sorry you are having to go through this... I am so saddened by you post.
I am wishing for your day to end as fast as possible and to please let these idiots be thoughtful of the Mommy in the room and remember why they are doing this... It isn't about winning it is about helping you son, I wish they would get that.

So Sorry
hugs

 

[mum2JK&TH]

You are in my thoughts today. I hope it goes well for you.

(((HUGS)))

 

[timer lady]

:crying: Will be with you in spirit. :angel:

 

[Loris]

I, too, would never again involve my child into the system. They seem to work it to their own gain, with nothing to help the child. I feel for you and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers today. I really hope it does go well.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Janna,

I wish I had some really great advice for you... I just want you to know that I'm praying for you and your son :angel:... I can't begin to imagine the pain you're going through - my eyes are teary as I'm typing this...

REMEMBER, you are an excellent :warrior: !!! Although this is probably one, if not, the hardest days in your life, you WILL get through it :warrior:!!!

I wish I could be with you at court today, along with everyone else here... As others have already said, pretend we're all with you... We're all here for you... praying for you...praying for the best possible outcome for you and your son...

Sending lots of cyber hugs. WFEN

 

[Sunlight]

how did things go, Janna?

God bless and keep you today in his tender care.

 

[givnmegryhr]

Janna, I wish you all the best and that the judge will listen to you . I thank you for keeping us all informed through your terrible ordeal. I know it has helped me to know what not to do. I hope everything goes your way. We are all behind you. Let us know how things go. ((((Hugs))))

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Janna.
You know you'll go and say and do all the right things. How stressful for all of you. And so sad for your son. And what a scary note!
Please let us know the outcome. And yes, there are some wise judges left.

 

[jannie]

Janna-
Sending hugs and support...I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious and overwhelmed...you are doing all you can do...