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Parent Emeritus
At my wits end..new comer
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 612593" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. You should probably post after this on Parent Emeritus (we are parents of adult kids..this is more for younger kids, but I posted on Parent Emeritus for the people there to find your post here).</p><p></p><p>I really think you have done all you can do unless your son asks for your help. And I mean asks as in, "I know I need help and I want to get it." He does have many differences that obviously make life harder for him, and he may need a guardian and caseworker and other mental health people to help him get on track, but if he is unwilling to let you help him navigate those social services waters, his life will not improve. Have you thought of maybe getting legal guardianship over him so that he can't blow all his paychecks and so that if he has an appointment YOU are notified and can at least TRY to get him to attend or to attend yourself? If you have legal guardianship, he will not have the same privileges of other adults because of his disabilities. For example, I am guardian of my autistic son and I was able to say he can't buy or own or handle a gun. And I'm the only one who can give him money, which works out well because he would spend it all as soon as he gets it. I had to go to court to do this and my son was compliant with this. I don't know if you can attain legal guardianship without your son's compliance, but it may be possible since he has so many disabilities and is not doing well on his own.</p><p></p><p>That does not mean he has to live with you. You have three other kids and he is too hard to handle. There are places where he can live that social services can help him find, if he is willing. If not, well, he is choosing the streets. If he would follow the rules, he would have a place to stay either with you or at an assisted living apartment or group home. </p><p></p><p>I'm concerned about YOU. I have been suicidal too and it's not good to isolate when that happens. Have you and your husband ever gone to a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting? Have you considered classes at the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) for parents of mentally ill children? Do you have your own therapist? You really need that hands on help, although WE are here 24/7. Trust me, even if your other three kids are well adjusted, they will be a mess if you kill yourself. It isn't something they can recover from or will ever not look on without horror and wonder if they could have stopped it. </p><p></p><p>I hope you post again to let us know you are ok. We will always answer you and try to support you. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I'm sorry it is tough for you now too. Very sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 612593, member: 1550"] Hi there. You should probably post after this on Parent Emeritus (we are parents of adult kids..this is more for younger kids, but I posted on Parent Emeritus for the people there to find your post here). I really think you have done all you can do unless your son asks for your help. And I mean asks as in, "I know I need help and I want to get it." He does have many differences that obviously make life harder for him, and he may need a guardian and caseworker and other mental health people to help him get on track, but if he is unwilling to let you help him navigate those social services waters, his life will not improve. Have you thought of maybe getting legal guardianship over him so that he can't blow all his paychecks and so that if he has an appointment YOU are notified and can at least TRY to get him to attend or to attend yourself? If you have legal guardianship, he will not have the same privileges of other adults because of his disabilities. For example, I am guardian of my autistic son and I was able to say he can't buy or own or handle a gun. And I'm the only one who can give him money, which works out well because he would spend it all as soon as he gets it. I had to go to court to do this and my son was compliant with this. I don't know if you can attain legal guardianship without your son's compliance, but it may be possible since he has so many disabilities and is not doing well on his own. That does not mean he has to live with you. You have three other kids and he is too hard to handle. There are places where he can live that social services can help him find, if he is willing. If not, well, he is choosing the streets. If he would follow the rules, he would have a place to stay either with you or at an assisted living apartment or group home. I'm concerned about YOU. I have been suicidal too and it's not good to isolate when that happens. Have you and your husband ever gone to a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting? Have you considered classes at the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) for parents of mentally ill children? Do you have your own therapist? You really need that hands on help, although WE are here 24/7. Trust me, even if your other three kids are well adjusted, they will be a mess if you kill yourself. It isn't something they can recover from or will ever not look on without horror and wonder if they could have stopped it. I hope you post again to let us know you are ok. We will always answer you and try to support you. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. Janet, I'm sorry it is tough for you now too. Very sorry. [/QUOTE]
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At my wits end..new comer
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