Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
At my wits end..new comer
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 612596" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I'm sorry this is happening, Echolette...but you need to be stronger than that. You have other children, and you have your own life to be responsible to and for.</p><p></p><p>I know how hurtful it is to lose your child. I know what it feels like to believe the next phone call will be the one telling you the body has been found. </p><p></p><p>I know what it feels like to have that same child turn his life around.</p><p></p><p>You are his mother. Whatever is happening to him, you need to be strong enough to believe for him that he can turn this around. You are doing right in refusing to play into your child's addictions or his weaknesses. You have been very, very strong to have been able to reach this point on your own. You are tired now, and scared, and wondering whether you've missed something. </p><p></p><p>You haven't missed anything, Echolette. You haven't done anything wrong. Your child hasn't really done anything wrong, either. He is addicted. Lots of kids try lots of things. Some get caught; they tumble into the hell of addiction head first. When that happens to one of our adult children, we need to learn a different parenting strategy, called detachment. </p><p></p><p>It's similar to Tough Love, in a way. </p><p></p><p>There are many tools a mother (or a father) can employ to help us survive this kind of pain. Here on the site, we can help you learn those tools.</p><p></p><p>Please keep posting. It does help to question and validate and explore what other parents have learned.</p><p></p><p>Here is something which will be immediately helpful:</p><p></p><p>God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change</p><p>the Courage to change the things I can</p><p>and the Wisdom to know the difference.</p><p></p><p>As someone very wise told me when I first found this site: "Read it until it works."</p><p></p><p>Parents of self-destructive adult children suffer a special kind of pain. We have no control over the choices our children make. If we allow it, their addictions or illnesses will take over our lives and take us down, too. We learn to walk a razor-thin line between loving acceptance and enabling their illnesses or addictions.</p><p></p><p>It is not an easy thing.</p><p></p><p>You are here, now. Finding those who understand the pain you are in will be helpful. It know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will survive this.</p><p></p><p>Others of us will be posting, soon.</p><p></p><p>Welcome, Echolette. I am so glad you found us. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 612596, member: 1721"] I'm sorry this is happening, Echolette...but you need to be stronger than that. You have other children, and you have your own life to be responsible to and for. I know how hurtful it is to lose your child. I know what it feels like to believe the next phone call will be the one telling you the body has been found. I know what it feels like to have that same child turn his life around. You are his mother. Whatever is happening to him, you need to be strong enough to believe for him that he can turn this around. You are doing right in refusing to play into your child's addictions or his weaknesses. You have been very, very strong to have been able to reach this point on your own. You are tired now, and scared, and wondering whether you've missed something. You haven't missed anything, Echolette. You haven't done anything wrong. Your child hasn't really done anything wrong, either. He is addicted. Lots of kids try lots of things. Some get caught; they tumble into the hell of addiction head first. When that happens to one of our adult children, we need to learn a different parenting strategy, called detachment. It's similar to Tough Love, in a way. There are many tools a mother (or a father) can employ to help us survive this kind of pain. Here on the site, we can help you learn those tools. Please keep posting. It does help to question and validate and explore what other parents have learned. Here is something which will be immediately helpful: God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. As someone very wise told me when I first found this site: "Read it until it works." Parents of self-destructive adult children suffer a special kind of pain. We have no control over the choices our children make. If we allow it, their addictions or illnesses will take over our lives and take us down, too. We learn to walk a razor-thin line between loving acceptance and enabling their illnesses or addictions. It is not an easy thing. You are here, now. Finding those who understand the pain you are in will be helpful. It know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will survive this. Others of us will be posting, soon. Welcome, Echolette. I am so glad you found us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
At my wits end..new comer
Top