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Substance Abuse
At my Wits end - sorry I've not been here!
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 712384" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>So, last night he contacts me with a screen shot of someone offering him a job. I said "great, now go to it, do it for 6 months and don't steal off them". Wrong response of course!! Next is a load of abuse about, why nothing is good enough for me, why can't I just say something nice, was that necessary, why am I always negative, why am I such a terrible mother, why don't I support him etc etc. What he wanted me to say was "Wow, well done, you can come home now"! As usual we end up in a text war where I get angry at him because he does not seem to even acknowledge or take responsibility for how he has caused hell on earth for two years! His view is (i quote) "I had a bit of fun, made some mistakes and smoke a little weed and you act like i've killed someone". I cannot believe it! The trouble is, I always get drawn into it and it makes me feel guilty and then I doubt myself and wonder if I am over reacting. I am trying to stay strong and i have told him now that there is little point in him keep contacting me because until he has a job and stays in it for 6 months, gets off drugs and stops hanging around with people that terrify me then I can do no more to help him. My husbands view is that I told him last week the same but yet i continue to engage in him when he contact me therefore my message is still not clear. I really do not know. I didn't really want to cut ties but keeping contact just keeps it going. The saga continues xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 712384, member: 21056"] So, last night he contacts me with a screen shot of someone offering him a job. I said "great, now go to it, do it for 6 months and don't steal off them". Wrong response of course!! Next is a load of abuse about, why nothing is good enough for me, why can't I just say something nice, was that necessary, why am I always negative, why am I such a terrible mother, why don't I support him etc etc. What he wanted me to say was "Wow, well done, you can come home now"! As usual we end up in a text war where I get angry at him because he does not seem to even acknowledge or take responsibility for how he has caused hell on earth for two years! His view is (i quote) "I had a bit of fun, made some mistakes and smoke a little weed and you act like i've killed someone". I cannot believe it! The trouble is, I always get drawn into it and it makes me feel guilty and then I doubt myself and wonder if I am over reacting. I am trying to stay strong and i have told him now that there is little point in him keep contacting me because until he has a job and stays in it for 6 months, gets off drugs and stops hanging around with people that terrify me then I can do no more to help him. My husbands view is that I told him last week the same but yet i continue to engage in him when he contact me therefore my message is still not clear. I really do not know. I didn't really want to cut ties but keeping contact just keeps it going. The saga continues xx [/QUOTE]
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At my Wits end - sorry I've not been here!
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