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General Parenting
At my wits end with an out of control teen
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 513323" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hello and welcome. </p><p>I have not read the other replies, sorry if I repeat. Cutting is serious. It often becomes a difficult addiction. She is hurting inside and getting the pain out. If you suspect drug use your probably right-again trying to deal with the pain. Sexually acting out, again a way to deal with pain and feel loved outside her family. I have been through all but the cutting with my daughter who is now 17. She made it impossible for us to keep her safe and we have placed her in 2 RTCs for a total of just over 2 years to get her help. When they run off they take away control and our ability to discipline. Unfortunetly for us, most states do nothing with habitual running and even truency. What you desribe with the police is what we have faced. It took a bad reaction to a prescription drug, which aggitated her, to get her to push us one day. She was trying to run away and we blocked the door. She pushed us and left marks where she grabbed us. We then were able to see a judge because we filed charges (desperate times=desperate measures). We had to give temporary custody to our state to get the second Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We were out of money and had no other choice. Our state does not have CHINS. Maybe yours does?</p><p></p><p>Our experience with the state was not good. She did get intensive DBT skills which she would not have gotten anywhere else. However, there was neglect, and abuse. I have never been more worried in my life. Others have had better experiences, but many have not with state programs. Be very careful and involved if you choose this route.</p><p></p><p>Churches and even some United Ways have funds for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and treatments. If they run, I think you have no choice but to go this route. We would make appointments for therapy and medications. and she would have run off and we would have to cancel and pay a fee time after time.</p><p></p><p>With your family history, I think you may have to force the issue of mental health help with her. She is a danger to herself. I would take her to a psychiatric hospital. the next time she cut and have her addmitted. It is expensive but they have resources for those who need help, so be persistant. You are at a terrifying crossroads. I have been there and know the feelings. You must act. I would call CPS and let them know what is going on with her threats. My daughter actually accused her brother of causing a bruise and it about killed him when they investigated. Of course it was dropped, but... We called them to ask for help and resources. They had nothing except to tell us to turn her into the law for anything illegal so we could get before a judge and beg for treatment. We did this over and over until the cop on weekend duty hated us, and called me crazy! He said we were tying up resources. Be prepared for this. People do not understand mental illness and often blame the parents. Also find out if your police have a mental health crisis team-they are trained to come out and help in an appropriate way-even transport to psychiatric hospital. We didn't know about this until after attending NAMI meetings.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 513323, member: 11001"] Hello and welcome. I have not read the other replies, sorry if I repeat. Cutting is serious. It often becomes a difficult addiction. She is hurting inside and getting the pain out. If you suspect drug use your probably right-again trying to deal with the pain. Sexually acting out, again a way to deal with pain and feel loved outside her family. I have been through all but the cutting with my daughter who is now 17. She made it impossible for us to keep her safe and we have placed her in 2 RTCs for a total of just over 2 years to get her help. When they run off they take away control and our ability to discipline. Unfortunetly for us, most states do nothing with habitual running and even truency. What you desribe with the police is what we have faced. It took a bad reaction to a prescription drug, which aggitated her, to get her to push us one day. She was trying to run away and we blocked the door. She pushed us and left marks where she grabbed us. We then were able to see a judge because we filed charges (desperate times=desperate measures). We had to give temporary custody to our state to get the second Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We were out of money and had no other choice. Our state does not have CHINS. Maybe yours does? Our experience with the state was not good. She did get intensive DBT skills which she would not have gotten anywhere else. However, there was neglect, and abuse. I have never been more worried in my life. Others have had better experiences, but many have not with state programs. Be very careful and involved if you choose this route. Churches and even some United Ways have funds for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and treatments. If they run, I think you have no choice but to go this route. We would make appointments for therapy and medications. and she would have run off and we would have to cancel and pay a fee time after time. With your family history, I think you may have to force the issue of mental health help with her. She is a danger to herself. I would take her to a psychiatric hospital. the next time she cut and have her addmitted. It is expensive but they have resources for those who need help, so be persistant. You are at a terrifying crossroads. I have been there and know the feelings. You must act. I would call CPS and let them know what is going on with her threats. My daughter actually accused her brother of causing a bruise and it about killed him when they investigated. Of course it was dropped, but... We called them to ask for help and resources. They had nothing except to tell us to turn her into the law for anything illegal so we could get before a judge and beg for treatment. We did this over and over until the cop on weekend duty hated us, and called me crazy! He said we were tying up resources. Be prepared for this. People do not understand mental illness and often blame the parents. Also find out if your police have a mental health crisis team-they are trained to come out and help in an appropriate way-even transport to psychiatric hospital. We didn't know about this until after attending NAMI meetings. Good luck, keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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At my wits end with an out of control teen
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