After reading a lot of the posts, I decided this forum would be a great place for me to get some advice from other parents who seem to be going through the same issues that I have been going through with my daughter.
Since this is my first post, let me give you a little background on us. We live in Southern Indiana. I homeschool both of children (for 3 years) because it was my only option to "save" my children. My son has been diagnosis with ODD and ADHD. My daughter refuses to see any type of psychiatrist or psychologist. I, myself, was diagnosis with Bi-Polar Disorder II, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), ADD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about 10 years ago. The only medication I take is xanax for the anxiety. I went through 5 years of very intense therapy to learn how to manage the other disorders without medication because I have a difficulty taking all of the medications approved for Bi-Polar Disorder due to bad kidneys.
I decided to homeschool my children 3 years ago when my daughter started hanging out with the wrong people at school, she is a follower and will do whatever her friends tell her to do. I could not keep her away from these people while she was at school so I had no choice but to homeschool her when she started running away from home, verbally abusing her brother, and refusing to do any school work. My son is homeschooled because when he was preparing for middle school, the school told me that he would be placed in Special Education because the teachers had already heard about him being so high strung and they didn't want to deal with him. He was a straight A student and even his therapist didn't think he needed Special Education. So I decided to homeschool him. He is now 2 years ahead of his peers. My daughter is making no progress at all because she refuses to do the work.
The main reason I joined this forum is for my daughter. She has recently started cutting herself, she is very defiant, a compulsive liar, very manipulative, and very verbally abusive to those who do not let her have what she wants when she wants it. I have heard from so many people in this area that it is just a phase and she will grow out of it, all teen girls go through it, etc. This has all be going on for about 4 years now. And as time goes on, it is getting worse and worse. She has been caught sneaking out at night, drinking, and we suspect drug use. She is very sexually active and has stated numerous times that she wants to get pregnant.
The police do nothing here when she runs away, unless she has been gone more than 24 hours. They do nothing about the verbal abuse and threats for violence saying she must actually cause physical harm to someone before they can do anything. She refuses to see a doctor stating there is nothing wrong with how she acts. She has no remorse for how she treats people. My son hates her with a passion and cannot stand to be in the same room with her.
We do not have insurance (the company my husband works for has insurance but it would cost us $400 a week for the family and we cannot afford that and he makes too much money for us to get any type of state assistance). I am at a complete loss as to how to deal with her. She tells all of her friends that I abuse her, that I hate her, and that she wants to turn me in for abuse so that her and my son will be taken away from me. She has also told her friends that she would be willing to beat herself up so she can turn me in for abuse because she knows without any marks no one here is likely to listen to her. She will not say these things to me, only to her friends. I have seen messages that she has sent through her facebook account (everytime she gets a chance to get on a computer she has to make a new facebook account because I keep deleting them when she willingly gives me the passwords) where she tells her friends all of these things. Her friends know she is lying so they just let her ramble.
I am terrified that she will one day follow through and actually hurt herself and then try to pin it on me. She is destroying her brother, I am at my wits end, and my poor husband feels helpless. I just don't know what to do with her to help her. All I want is for her to be a healthy, happy and productive teenager. If she continues on this path, she will never amount to anything in life. Consequences for her actions do not phase her in the least little bit. To her, it is just our way of being mean to her because we hate her. To her, we don't let her do what she wants, when she wants because we hate her. And she honestly, sees nothing wrong with what she does.
Sorry to have written a novel, but I felt it was necessary to clue you in on all aspects of what we are dealing with so that maybe, just maybe, someone would have some advice or an idea of something we haven't tried yet. Thank you in advance to everyone who takes the time to at least read this.
We are in desperate need of some help.
Since this is my first post, let me give you a little background on us. We live in Southern Indiana. I homeschool both of children (for 3 years) because it was my only option to "save" my children. My son has been diagnosis with ODD and ADHD. My daughter refuses to see any type of psychiatrist or psychologist. I, myself, was diagnosis with Bi-Polar Disorder II, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), ADD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about 10 years ago. The only medication I take is xanax for the anxiety. I went through 5 years of very intense therapy to learn how to manage the other disorders without medication because I have a difficulty taking all of the medications approved for Bi-Polar Disorder due to bad kidneys.
I decided to homeschool my children 3 years ago when my daughter started hanging out with the wrong people at school, she is a follower and will do whatever her friends tell her to do. I could not keep her away from these people while she was at school so I had no choice but to homeschool her when she started running away from home, verbally abusing her brother, and refusing to do any school work. My son is homeschooled because when he was preparing for middle school, the school told me that he would be placed in Special Education because the teachers had already heard about him being so high strung and they didn't want to deal with him. He was a straight A student and even his therapist didn't think he needed Special Education. So I decided to homeschool him. He is now 2 years ahead of his peers. My daughter is making no progress at all because she refuses to do the work.
The main reason I joined this forum is for my daughter. She has recently started cutting herself, she is very defiant, a compulsive liar, very manipulative, and very verbally abusive to those who do not let her have what she wants when she wants it. I have heard from so many people in this area that it is just a phase and she will grow out of it, all teen girls go through it, etc. This has all be going on for about 4 years now. And as time goes on, it is getting worse and worse. She has been caught sneaking out at night, drinking, and we suspect drug use. She is very sexually active and has stated numerous times that she wants to get pregnant.
The police do nothing here when she runs away, unless she has been gone more than 24 hours. They do nothing about the verbal abuse and threats for violence saying she must actually cause physical harm to someone before they can do anything. She refuses to see a doctor stating there is nothing wrong with how she acts. She has no remorse for how she treats people. My son hates her with a passion and cannot stand to be in the same room with her.
We do not have insurance (the company my husband works for has insurance but it would cost us $400 a week for the family and we cannot afford that and he makes too much money for us to get any type of state assistance). I am at a complete loss as to how to deal with her. She tells all of her friends that I abuse her, that I hate her, and that she wants to turn me in for abuse so that her and my son will be taken away from me. She has also told her friends that she would be willing to beat herself up so she can turn me in for abuse because she knows without any marks no one here is likely to listen to her. She will not say these things to me, only to her friends. I have seen messages that she has sent through her facebook account (everytime she gets a chance to get on a computer she has to make a new facebook account because I keep deleting them when she willingly gives me the passwords) where she tells her friends all of these things. Her friends know she is lying so they just let her ramble.
I am terrified that she will one day follow through and actually hurt herself and then try to pin it on me. She is destroying her brother, I am at my wits end, and my poor husband feels helpless. I just don't know what to do with her to help her. All I want is for her to be a healthy, happy and productive teenager. If she continues on this path, she will never amount to anything in life. Consequences for her actions do not phase her in the least little bit. To her, it is just our way of being mean to her because we hate her. To her, we don't let her do what she wants, when she wants because we hate her. And she honestly, sees nothing wrong with what she does.
Sorry to have written a novel, but I felt it was necessary to clue you in on all aspects of what we are dealing with so that maybe, just maybe, someone would have some advice or an idea of something we haven't tried yet. Thank you in advance to everyone who takes the time to at least read this.
We are in desperate need of some help.