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At our wits end with 23 year old son. Any advise welcome!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724126" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He is using drugs. At his age he will find bad elements even on medical missions. My daughter found the drug element in a church group. He cant be sheltered at his age. I have never heard about softness and love doing good to a drug user. And my daughter did the same sort of drugs your son does...coke and ADHD drugs. They crush them in pillcrushers and snort them. Meth also tends to go hand in hand with speed. A baaaaad drug, meth. But none are good.</p><p></p><p>Tough love saved my daughter. I thought she was going to die and I wasnt going to let her die so easily...under our roof, with our money and comfort. Dang it, I was angry and sad and wanted her to hate drug life so much that she quit. We threw her out at 19. Almost ripped me apart to do it.</p><p></p><p>By twenty she had quit, even her cigarettes. Her life proceeded uphill for twelve years and is still good. Would this work for your son? Maybe. Maybe not. But I have been on this site 10-15 years and have never seen an adult child who quit this partying, screw the world lifestyle while living in comfort at home. It is normally after we pull back our living quarters and financial support and stop trying to fix them. Or...some never get better. Most do though, if we make things unpleasant enough. And we can offer emotional cheering when they do well, bug not money or cars or toys. Jmo</p><p></p><p>One thing for sure. We didnt cause this, we cant cure it it and we cant control it. I favor tough love because, at least here, on this forum, I have seen better results with that method.</p><p></p><p>I highly recommend a therapist for you and hub to learn to cope and Al Anon for great support. Your son should not be allowed to mistreat you, especially in your own home. It is domestic abuse by your own child. </p><p></p><p>I wish you the best. Others will come along with their own opinions. Be good to YOU. You and hub need therapy to get on the same page. Your husband and you need ONE plan so he cant play you against one another. Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724126, member: 1550"] He is using drugs. At his age he will find bad elements even on medical missions. My daughter found the drug element in a church group. He cant be sheltered at his age. I have never heard about softness and love doing good to a drug user. And my daughter did the same sort of drugs your son does...coke and ADHD drugs. They crush them in pillcrushers and snort them. Meth also tends to go hand in hand with speed. A baaaaad drug, meth. But none are good. Tough love saved my daughter. I thought she was going to die and I wasnt going to let her die so easily...under our roof, with our money and comfort. Dang it, I was angry and sad and wanted her to hate drug life so much that she quit. We threw her out at 19. Almost ripped me apart to do it. By twenty she had quit, even her cigarettes. Her life proceeded uphill for twelve years and is still good. Would this work for your son? Maybe. Maybe not. But I have been on this site 10-15 years and have never seen an adult child who quit this partying, screw the world lifestyle while living in comfort at home. It is normally after we pull back our living quarters and financial support and stop trying to fix them. Or...some never get better. Most do though, if we make things unpleasant enough. And we can offer emotional cheering when they do well, bug not money or cars or toys. Jmo One thing for sure. We didnt cause this, we cant cure it it and we cant control it. I favor tough love because, at least here, on this forum, I have seen better results with that method. I highly recommend a therapist for you and hub to learn to cope and Al Anon for great support. Your son should not be allowed to mistreat you, especially in your own home. It is domestic abuse by your own child. I wish you the best. Others will come along with their own opinions. Be good to YOU. You and hub need therapy to get on the same page. Your husband and you need ONE plan so he cant play you against one another. Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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At our wits end with 23 year old son. Any advise welcome!!
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