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General Parenting
at the end of my rope...
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 452600" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>First, I can tell you that this is a perfectly normal feeling... but you probably don't want to act on it.</p><p></p><p>There is too much going on, too many layers - and many more that haven't been discovered yet.</p><p>You need more help for yourself.</p><p>And a lot more help for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>He's of an age now that "other things" will start showing up. Not the behavior - that's most likely purely secondary.</p><p>But by age 8, school work shifts. From learning to read, to "reading to learn". Having to actually USE writing skills. Harder math. More complex projects. More to be done in less time.</p><p>At this age, too, they are often shifted from the playground to the fields - from monkey bars and swings, to sports.</p><p></p><p>If they don't have the skills they need to move on with their peers, behavior is the best indicator of problems.</p><p>Its like a mask - they hide behind the badness rather than confront unknown demons - because they have no idea that there are ways of working around their problems.</p><p>And especially for a boy - so much of his self-image and self-esteem is rolled up in what he can make his body and brain accomplish.</p><p></p><p>Problems can be subtle enough that schools don't see them as such - all they see is the behaviour - in part because they look at each "issue" in isolation.</p><p>But the cumulative effects of a number of small deficits is HUGE.</p><p></p><p>Have you got therapist/psychiatrist/family counsellor? Someone who can help you get your own feet under you and get you and your SO back on the same page? That's probably the first place to start. THEN you can start working through difficult child's issues again.</p><p></p><p>{{hugs}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 452600, member: 11791"] First, I can tell you that this is a perfectly normal feeling... but you probably don't want to act on it. There is too much going on, too many layers - and many more that haven't been discovered yet. You need more help for yourself. And a lot more help for difficult child. He's of an age now that "other things" will start showing up. Not the behavior - that's most likely purely secondary. But by age 8, school work shifts. From learning to read, to "reading to learn". Having to actually USE writing skills. Harder math. More complex projects. More to be done in less time. At this age, too, they are often shifted from the playground to the fields - from monkey bars and swings, to sports. If they don't have the skills they need to move on with their peers, behavior is the best indicator of problems. Its like a mask - they hide behind the badness rather than confront unknown demons - because they have no idea that there are ways of working around their problems. And especially for a boy - so much of his self-image and self-esteem is rolled up in what he can make his body and brain accomplish. Problems can be subtle enough that schools don't see them as such - all they see is the behaviour - in part because they look at each "issue" in isolation. But the cumulative effects of a number of small deficits is HUGE. Have you got therapist/psychiatrist/family counsellor? Someone who can help you get your own feet under you and get you and your SO back on the same page? That's probably the first place to start. THEN you can start working through difficult child's issues again. {{hugs}} [/QUOTE]
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