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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 227297" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It is not healthy for anyone to have someone in the home who is like a ticking time bomb. You never know when she is going to explode.</p><p></p><p>When she rages, request police to take her to the nearest ER for an evaluation. If she is indeed a danger to herself and/or others, the doctor can place her on a hold order to a mental health hospital. Because she is over 18, you can not admit her without her willingness. The doctor can if she meets criteria of being out of control and dangerous.</p><p></p><p>If you can get her to voluntarily seek medical help that would be best. If she will cooperate with evaluations to diagnose what is going on, that would be the easiest route for all involved.</p><p> </p><p>I recently gave my 18 yr old easy child the very icy cold shoulder with, "You will not ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." It took her several months but it did eventually work. Her mouth is returning so I think I need to pull that tactic out again.</p><p></p><p>You need to be rock solid with your daughter. Enough already! You will not put up with her meanness or rages any longer. Any illness she may have is not an excuse. She can get help. If medications will help her feel better than go for it. She has to take the responsibility of getting that help. She is never going to feel good about herself waiting for others to make her feel good. Will never happen.</p><p></p><p>Each eggshell you and the other kids tread on is only enabling her, sending the message that she is still in control, adding strength to her rages. I know it is easier with little kids and not as dangerous, but when my kids were smaller and would behave in a way that I was tempted to lay out those egg shells, I stopped myself. I sent the message that I would do what I wanted and their tantrums would not stop me. Your daughter may have gotten into the habit of raging because she knows it works for her - it keeps you on those eggshells. It will be a very difficult habit to break especially because it is subconscious. It may very well be beyond her control so she may need medications to help and lots of counseling to figure out triggers to avoid.</p><p></p><p>I hope she can find it in her to accept help in forms of evaluations, possible medications, and counseling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 227297, member: 5096"] It is not healthy for anyone to have someone in the home who is like a ticking time bomb. You never know when she is going to explode. When she rages, request police to take her to the nearest ER for an evaluation. If she is indeed a danger to herself and/or others, the doctor can place her on a hold order to a mental health hospital. Because she is over 18, you can not admit her without her willingness. The doctor can if she meets criteria of being out of control and dangerous. If you can get her to voluntarily seek medical help that would be best. If she will cooperate with evaluations to diagnose what is going on, that would be the easiest route for all involved. I recently gave my 18 yr old easy child the very icy cold shoulder with, "You will not ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." It took her several months but it did eventually work. Her mouth is returning so I think I need to pull that tactic out again. You need to be rock solid with your daughter. Enough already! You will not put up with her meanness or rages any longer. Any illness she may have is not an excuse. She can get help. If medications will help her feel better than go for it. She has to take the responsibility of getting that help. She is never going to feel good about herself waiting for others to make her feel good. Will never happen. Each eggshell you and the other kids tread on is only enabling her, sending the message that she is still in control, adding strength to her rages. I know it is easier with little kids and not as dangerous, but when my kids were smaller and would behave in a way that I was tempted to lay out those egg shells, I stopped myself. I sent the message that I would do what I wanted and their tantrums would not stop me. Your daughter may have gotten into the habit of raging because she knows it works for her - it keeps you on those eggshells. It will be a very difficult habit to break especially because it is subconscious. It may very well be beyond her control so she may need medications to help and lots of counseling to figure out triggers to avoid. I hope she can find it in her to accept help in forms of evaluations, possible medications, and counseling. [/QUOTE]
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