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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 198310" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Marg,</p><p></p><p>You have perfectly described difficult child here - as well as to some extent easy child , and dare I say - husband? For a very long time I believed that our boys picked up this "equality" viewpoint from their Dad. For some time now I have begun to realize that this issue is much, much more. </p><p></p><p>On the one hand, I never have to worry about anyone, and I mean anyone taking advantage of my guys. They certainly hold their own - just a little too well. But I do worry about lack or relationships or relationships that don't last - or trouble at school or on the job. God forbid either one is stopped by a policeman - I shudder to think!!!!</p><p></p><p>difficult child told me last year that friendships are "too much trouble". This statement really broke my heart but I have come to realize that he is a true loner. He's truly not hurt by the lack of friendships and actually, the kids around him all know him and like him. (They've all been in a small school system together since pre-K). They give him space , but they are always willing to relate - come over to our house to work on school projects, etc. difficult child is always the same, whether they are here or not.</p><p></p><p>easy child has a huge circle of friends. Large groups of them congregated at our house throughout his high school years , and he routinely brings groups home from the university now. But... he has trouble hanging on to friends - especially girl friends. He is always the one who breaks up the relationships - interestingly always because the person "didn't respect him enough to treat him as he should be treated". This worries me greatly - I think it is an example of what you are speaking about. husband believes he is just going to have to work through it - and it will take time and patience. husband strongly believes this - he says that it worked for him. husband's parents paid for him to go through years of traditional psychoanalysis - and husband says this is what finally got through to him. (I guess the old school psychoanalysis is kind of like today's cognitive therapy). easy child has participated in "talk" therapy off and on through the years - whenever he has requested to do so.</p><p></p><p>I think your and your husband's idea about relating social skills to computer games and the "powers" of the participants is very inspired. It would be interesting to "embed" these concepts into a game. I'm going to talk to easy child about this. He's finishing up his degrees in cognitive science, computer science , and artifical intelligence this year - and this would be right up his alley. He told husband and myself last night that he wants to go on for his Phd (I really should have seen this coming, sigh) and he will be surrounded by more and more folks who are working with these kinds of ideas. easy child only came around to accepting difficult child's diagnosis this year. He was furious whenever we would even bring up the subject earlier. Now he is very interested and sends me articles and web links to view. He has even stated that sometimes he thinks he might be on the spectrum.....It's interesting to watch this dawning awareness!</p><p></p><p>Kudos on this idea! I think it could be a whole area of development for some enterprising folks. I can tell you from past experience that difficult child would last about 5 minutes in a Social Skills class. He just feels that the whole scenerio is demeaning and insulting to his intelligence. He really needs the information, but it isn't presented in a format that speaks to him.</p><p></p><p>Valerie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 198310, member: 3704"] Marg, You have perfectly described difficult child here - as well as to some extent easy child , and dare I say - husband? For a very long time I believed that our boys picked up this "equality" viewpoint from their Dad. For some time now I have begun to realize that this issue is much, much more. On the one hand, I never have to worry about anyone, and I mean anyone taking advantage of my guys. They certainly hold their own - just a little too well. But I do worry about lack or relationships or relationships that don't last - or trouble at school or on the job. God forbid either one is stopped by a policeman - I shudder to think!!!! difficult child told me last year that friendships are "too much trouble". This statement really broke my heart but I have come to realize that he is a true loner. He's truly not hurt by the lack of friendships and actually, the kids around him all know him and like him. (They've all been in a small school system together since pre-K). They give him space , but they are always willing to relate - come over to our house to work on school projects, etc. difficult child is always the same, whether they are here or not. easy child has a huge circle of friends. Large groups of them congregated at our house throughout his high school years , and he routinely brings groups home from the university now. But... he has trouble hanging on to friends - especially girl friends. He is always the one who breaks up the relationships - interestingly always because the person "didn't respect him enough to treat him as he should be treated". This worries me greatly - I think it is an example of what you are speaking about. husband believes he is just going to have to work through it - and it will take time and patience. husband strongly believes this - he says that it worked for him. husband's parents paid for him to go through years of traditional psychoanalysis - and husband says this is what finally got through to him. (I guess the old school psychoanalysis is kind of like today's cognitive therapy). easy child has participated in "talk" therapy off and on through the years - whenever he has requested to do so. I think your and your husband's idea about relating social skills to computer games and the "powers" of the participants is very inspired. It would be interesting to "embed" these concepts into a game. I'm going to talk to easy child about this. He's finishing up his degrees in cognitive science, computer science , and artifical intelligence this year - and this would be right up his alley. He told husband and myself last night that he wants to go on for his Phd (I really should have seen this coming, sigh) and he will be surrounded by more and more folks who are working with these kinds of ideas. easy child only came around to accepting difficult child's diagnosis this year. He was furious whenever we would even bring up the subject earlier. Now he is very interested and sends me articles and web links to view. He has even stated that sometimes he thinks he might be on the spectrum.....It's interesting to watch this dawning awareness! Kudos on this idea! I think it could be a whole area of development for some enterprising folks. I can tell you from past experience that difficult child would last about 5 minutes in a Social Skills class. He just feels that the whole scenerio is demeaning and insulting to his intelligence. He really needs the information, but it isn't presented in a format that speaks to him. Valerie [/QUOTE]
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