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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 199102" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You guys are amazing!</p><p></p><p>husband has been home from work today and was online this morning when I was busy. He did say something to me earlier today, Lyllith, about you having some really good ideas.</p><p></p><p>Initially, this was intended just as a way of explaining respect between different people and the way we need to vary how much or how little we have to concentrate on this, with different people, according to their own status.</p><p></p><p>However, as a teaching tool on a broader level, I think this could work. That was an unexpected side issue to this which we now want to follow up.</p><p></p><p>At this stage, we're now looking at subdividing the points so there can be more capacity to distinguish between big issues and smaller issues. We need to develop a list of things which will gain points, a list of things which will lose points and ways to regain points. </p><p></p><p>To begin with, let's compromise and increase the points by a factor of 10. That means we each begin with 90.</p><p></p><p>Points are allocated initially on the basis of:</p><p>age (+10 points for every 20 years of age).</p><p></p><p>experience (+ ? points for every previous experience of an activity or topic under discussion/action).</p><p></p><p>qualification (+? points for previous training - need to grade it according to level of qualification).</p><p></p><p>Points are lost for:</p><p>Arguing AFTER having been asked not to (points lost for each utterance of the same argument)</p><p></p><p>Disrespectful behaviour (we need to define this more carefully).</p><p></p><p>Being mean or bullying (again, need to define this).</p><p></p><p></p><p>Points are regained for:</p><p>apology (extra points for unprompted apology).</p><p></p><p>appropriate behaviour indicating active application of self-control</p><p></p><p>showing good manners, such as saying "please" and "thank you" appropriately, unprompted.</p><p></p><p>giving compliments appropriately.</p><p></p><p>showing a willingness to learn.</p><p></p><p>For all these, we need to seriously look at defining them and applying a points value. The strict definitions are needed not only so programming can be quantified, but also so the main purpose of this, to help teach our difficult children to interact better, is made more effective. We can't expect our kids to get it right if we haven't defined properly what we want them to do.</p><p></p><p>So let's carry on, this is steamrollering along nicely.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 199102, member: 1991"] You guys are amazing! husband has been home from work today and was online this morning when I was busy. He did say something to me earlier today, Lyllith, about you having some really good ideas. Initially, this was intended just as a way of explaining respect between different people and the way we need to vary how much or how little we have to concentrate on this, with different people, according to their own status. However, as a teaching tool on a broader level, I think this could work. That was an unexpected side issue to this which we now want to follow up. At this stage, we're now looking at subdividing the points so there can be more capacity to distinguish between big issues and smaller issues. We need to develop a list of things which will gain points, a list of things which will lose points and ways to regain points. To begin with, let's compromise and increase the points by a factor of 10. That means we each begin with 90. Points are allocated initially on the basis of: age (+10 points for every 20 years of age). experience (+ ? points for every previous experience of an activity or topic under discussion/action). qualification (+? points for previous training - need to grade it according to level of qualification). Points are lost for: Arguing AFTER having been asked not to (points lost for each utterance of the same argument) Disrespectful behaviour (we need to define this more carefully). Being mean or bullying (again, need to define this). Points are regained for: apology (extra points for unprompted apology). appropriate behaviour indicating active application of self-control showing good manners, such as saying "please" and "thank you" appropriately, unprompted. giving compliments appropriately. showing a willingness to learn. For all these, we need to seriously look at defining them and applying a points value. The strict definitions are needed not only so programming can be quantified, but also so the main purpose of this, to help teach our difficult children to interact better, is made more effective. We can't expect our kids to get it right if we haven't defined properly what we want them to do. So let's carry on, this is steamrollering along nicely. Marg [/QUOTE]
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