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AWESOME talk with my Mom!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 364184" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well if we had anything to do with supporting you to make the decision to cut ties with your difficult child, controlling, manipulative, dysfunctional, mentally ill, mean, aggressive, brother? Then I say 'You are welcome.' </p><p> </p><p>Therapy is a process and it's peeling back layer by layer of your past life - one hour at a time. You figure if you go one hour a week to a therapist, and you are 51 years old? (not that you are but hypothetically speaking) And you've had issues since you were a baby with your family? You can only cover one week of your life a year in an hour and that's if you rush - plus you have to think about dividing THAT time with present day problems - I mean it's staggering how complex we are. </p><p> </p><p>I believe if your Mom keeps going to her therapist and you keep going - and have made a choice to draw your boundaries and stick to them? Eventually your brother will either get tired of his own voice (as he has no one to take out his aggression on - and actually - that's why he does it with you - he KNEW you would NEVER, NEVER leave him because you love him.) Same as our difficult child kids OR he may get so tired of himself he'll seek out therapy. (doubtful at this point) but the fact that you've stopped all communication and speaking to him, and about him will be very helpful. - You've basically started to drain your swimming pool of toxic chemicals....and you know once the bad water is gone? You really wouldn't go down the drain to get it back in the pool. You put new fresh water in - and enjoy it! </p><p> </p><p>I wish you well - I'm glad you finally had a decent conversation with your Mom. </p><p> </p><p>I have to ask though - about the cat? Did anyone do a necropsy on it? I was thinking if you were in charge of feeding it, and it came up dead - would your brother think that he would look like the shining star in your parents eyes - Susie* messed up again - look....Mom.....she couldn't even feed a cat without killing it. Just thinking out loud because for me to read between those lines? Makes me think the cat died a premature death with assistance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 364184, member: 4964"] Well if we had anything to do with supporting you to make the decision to cut ties with your difficult child, controlling, manipulative, dysfunctional, mentally ill, mean, aggressive, brother? Then I say 'You are welcome.' Therapy is a process and it's peeling back layer by layer of your past life - one hour at a time. You figure if you go one hour a week to a therapist, and you are 51 years old? (not that you are but hypothetically speaking) And you've had issues since you were a baby with your family? You can only cover one week of your life a year in an hour and that's if you rush - plus you have to think about dividing THAT time with present day problems - I mean it's staggering how complex we are. I believe if your Mom keeps going to her therapist and you keep going - and have made a choice to draw your boundaries and stick to them? Eventually your brother will either get tired of his own voice (as he has no one to take out his aggression on - and actually - that's why he does it with you - he KNEW you would NEVER, NEVER leave him because you love him.) Same as our difficult child kids OR he may get so tired of himself he'll seek out therapy. (doubtful at this point) but the fact that you've stopped all communication and speaking to him, and about him will be very helpful. - You've basically started to drain your swimming pool of toxic chemicals....and you know once the bad water is gone? You really wouldn't go down the drain to get it back in the pool. You put new fresh water in - and enjoy it! I wish you well - I'm glad you finally had a decent conversation with your Mom. I have to ask though - about the cat? Did anyone do a necropsy on it? I was thinking if you were in charge of feeding it, and it came up dead - would your brother think that he would look like the shining star in your parents eyes - Susie* messed up again - look....Mom.....she couldn't even feed a cat without killing it. Just thinking out loud because for me to read between those lines? Makes me think the cat died a premature death with assistance. [/QUOTE]
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AWESOME talk with my Mom!!!!!
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