She probably thought she couldn’t get pregnant at fifty, and I wouldn’t have thought so, either. There is a strong chance she will miscarry because of her age. There is also the increased risk of having a special needs child. She needs to prepare herself for these possibilities. Even for parents whose finances are in order, providing for a special needs child is expensive. Some aspects of certain conditions aren’t covered by insurance. Maybe finding a couple who can afford to give the child the resources she or he needs would be best for the child’s life. Then, she will be coming to you for financial assistance. You need to be prepared for that part. Hopefully, the baby will be fine, but statistics don’t show a rosy outlook. I’m sorry to sound so bleak, and I really hope all this goes well.
Regardless, she will need someone to turn to during all of this. If you don’t feel like you can be that support system, you’ll have to maintain firm boundaries. I’m hoping she can find a support group or a friend who has been in a similar situation.
I understand why she doesn’t want the father involved, but if there is a condition that is very costly, she should reconsider getting child support from him,