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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 224110" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I look back on the last year or so and scratch my head, and think, WHAT was I thinking?? To have believed difficult child's story so quickly when I picked him up in May after he'd been arrested; to have paid the fines for BOTH his underage charges during the year; to have hired an expensive attorney immediately to defend him when the college said he'd be needing a lawyer. That was a very expensive rescue! </p><p></p><p>I do find that in the last few months I've been able to take a giant step backward, away from overinvolvement (maybe something to do with all his violence and threats? ) and taking on responsibility that isn't mine, and rescuing so that somehow everything will turn out all right for difficult child. It may not; that's up to him. husband was upset last night thinking about the situation, saying that in one year difficult child has gone from a great situation - having passed first semester of college, having a wonderful girlfriend, and having his whole life lined up and waiting - to complete disaster. I think it was inevitable given difficult child's SA problems and general personality. He seems to need to bonk his head against things a couple of times and learn the hard way before things sink in. So be it. </p><p></p><p>difficult child was very angry and upset about the amount of his fines and court costs, and today the counselor said he has the lowest costs she's ever seen. So he was told to count himself lucky! He has to get a letter saying whether he needs further drug and alcohol treatment; it'll be interesting to see what the counselors say. He's talked himself into the idea that he doesn't really have a SA problem, that it's just his obessional behavior from being 'borderline autistic' - !!! - he looked through his old files and pulled that one out! - so he thinks he can drink once he's 21 without a problem. Riight. I think he has some way to go before he hits bottom. One thing I know, he's not living in our house and drinking, even once he IS 21.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 224110, member: 2884"] I look back on the last year or so and scratch my head, and think, WHAT was I thinking?? To have believed difficult child's story so quickly when I picked him up in May after he'd been arrested; to have paid the fines for BOTH his underage charges during the year; to have hired an expensive attorney immediately to defend him when the college said he'd be needing a lawyer. That was a very expensive rescue! I do find that in the last few months I've been able to take a giant step backward, away from overinvolvement (maybe something to do with all his violence and threats? ) and taking on responsibility that isn't mine, and rescuing so that somehow everything will turn out all right for difficult child. It may not; that's up to him. husband was upset last night thinking about the situation, saying that in one year difficult child has gone from a great situation - having passed first semester of college, having a wonderful girlfriend, and having his whole life lined up and waiting - to complete disaster. I think it was inevitable given difficult child's SA problems and general personality. He seems to need to bonk his head against things a couple of times and learn the hard way before things sink in. So be it. difficult child was very angry and upset about the amount of his fines and court costs, and today the counselor said he has the lowest costs she's ever seen. So he was told to count himself lucky! He has to get a letter saying whether he needs further drug and alcohol treatment; it'll be interesting to see what the counselors say. He's talked himself into the idea that he doesn't really have a SA problem, that it's just his obessional behavior from being 'borderline autistic' - !!! - he looked through his old files and pulled that one out! - so he thinks he can drink once he's 21 without a problem. Riight. I think he has some way to go before he hits bottom. One thing I know, he's not living in our house and drinking, even once he IS 21. [/QUOTE]
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