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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 278090" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Good morning, ML! I found that with my difficult child, using rewards worked much better than concentrating on consequences for not doing what he should- the consequence was NOT getting the reward. Have you talked to Manster to get his input on rewards? If he has a tendency to eat complusively, I'm not sure I'd use food as a reward at all. </p><p></p><p>I used a system where difficult child had to earn his allowance. Everything expected from him during the week was assigned a value per each day and he got a checkmark for each day he completed each thing. At the end of the week, it was totaled up and that was his allowance for that week. This worked for us because difficult child was at an age where he expected his allowance- I told him I expected him to do certain things, too. Also, assaigning very low amounts to each daily expectation taught him how this might not seem like much, but it adds up. After a few weeks of $15 potential ending up to be an $8 allowance for the week, he got the point! (I had to learn not to gripe if he didn't do much that week but to let the low amount of money prove the point- otherwise difficult child rebelled.) I don't know if you could turn that into a help for Manster if eating and exercise habits are the concern. Oh- I also had a reward for bigger milestones- like if he met a certain requirement almost all the time (I didn't want to expect perfection) for a few months, I'd take him and a friend somehwere they wanted to go- to a movie or something special- or he could have a sleep-over.</p><p></p><p>One thought I have on this- instead of requiring him to eat no ssnacks at all, have you considered saying he can have one morning and one afternoon snack but it has to be either yogurt or fruit, for instance? I'm not sure these growing boys can completely abstain from all snacks, LOL!~</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 278090, member: 3699"] Good morning, ML! I found that with my difficult child, using rewards worked much better than concentrating on consequences for not doing what he should- the consequence was NOT getting the reward. Have you talked to Manster to get his input on rewards? If he has a tendency to eat complusively, I'm not sure I'd use food as a reward at all. I used a system where difficult child had to earn his allowance. Everything expected from him during the week was assigned a value per each day and he got a checkmark for each day he completed each thing. At the end of the week, it was totaled up and that was his allowance for that week. This worked for us because difficult child was at an age where he expected his allowance- I told him I expected him to do certain things, too. Also, assaigning very low amounts to each daily expectation taught him how this might not seem like much, but it adds up. After a few weeks of $15 potential ending up to be an $8 allowance for the week, he got the point! (I had to learn not to gripe if he didn't do much that week but to let the low amount of money prove the point- otherwise difficult child rebelled.) I don't know if you could turn that into a help for Manster if eating and exercise habits are the concern. Oh- I also had a reward for bigger milestones- like if he met a certain requirement almost all the time (I didn't want to expect perfection) for a few months, I'd take him and a friend somehwere they wanted to go- to a movie or something special- or he could have a sleep-over. One thought I have on this- instead of requiring him to eat no ssnacks at all, have you considered saying he can have one morning and one afternoon snack but it has to be either yogurt or fruit, for instance? I'm not sure these growing boys can completely abstain from all snacks, LOL!~ [/QUOTE]
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