bad day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I just don't know what's up. This past weekend difficult child was in a mood I don't think I have seen. Tired. crabby. seemed like frustrated and very angry, depressed all in one. Hates school. Stayed in his room most of the weekend which is really unusual. he is a very social kid.

    He's had a headache for a couple weeks and asked me last Thursday to call the doctor and ask for tylenol#3. Said he didn't want to go in to see doctor. I forgot. He asked Friday - I forgot. Called today. This doctor doesn't want to do this anymore. Said he needs to see someone about this. I told him he is seeing a new psychologist and learning some relaxation techniques. He filled a prescription.

    difficult child came out of school (High School) crying today. His teacher followed him to the car and apologized. TWO things that will and always have set him off is if you tell him he is short or fat. Apparently this teacher jokes with everyone but has reallly been teasing difficult child recently. Making jokes about his height and such. Today she went too far. Weight/height..then blocked the door after the bell rang and told the class "Lets not let difficult child out". He pushed her aside and ran to the car.

    He said that everyone, all the kids, even his friends tease him. Tell him he is short, fat...hasn't hit puberty so his voice hasn't changed. They tease him telling him he is 5 years old, or 9 years old. Why is he in High School. He said he doesn't want to go back. I told him that is not acceptable and I will speak to school. he definately doesn't want that. Says then the kids will say "oh, you run to your mommy".

    Then I get an email from school. Not good at all. They are requesting a meeting. I replied and said anytime. figured I would leave work early in the morning and take 1/2 vac day. Wanted to let principal know what the kids are doing, only he has to witness it otherwise the kids will say he told. However, when I came to work my partner is not in again. This is the ELEVENTH day this year. We are the only two that work on the mainframe platform, so I cannot leave. With our 12 hour shift we only work 14 days a month. He has all of his sick days and 1/2 his vacation days used up already. In the two years I have been here this partner (young just turned 30 - been here since he was 18) He has had 3 surgeries a year. Actually, I don't believe he needed them. But with the surgeries and recover time, PLUS using all sick and vacation days by early spring...I work alone most of the year. Eleven days of not coming in and leaves early every Sunday. Just not right. Everything then falls on my shoulders because I am the only one here. But, when he is here he sleeps. Atleast I could leave if needed. I job shadow on Mondays - that happened 2 times in six weeks due to parnter not coming in. Issue with school is important seeing the mood difficult child is currently in. I am worried for him and scared. Quarter ends next week and he has stated to staff at school he doesn't care, he'll take the F, he's not doing it.

    Now - the dog. Help. Help me get my mind in order.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    :sad-very::sad-very: Oh I can so feel where you are at - caught between work and difficult child. We know that difficult child comes first but you also can't leave your work hanging! I have been there many many times and hate that feeling.

    I think that the teacher needs to be reported for her "joking". That was role modeling to the entire class that it is o.k. to be a jerk to difficult child. Poor thing!

    My difficult child has been off also this weekend. Besides his busy week last week and the blizzard heading this way yesterday, the teacher pointed out that there is a full moon on Wednesday and wondered if that had any effect. It would be interesting for you to start taking notes of his "off" times and see if there is a link to the phases of the moon?

    Does difficult child do his relaxation techniques on a scheduled basis or just when he feels he needs to? I am trying to get my difficult child to do his daily regardless of how he feels.

    I hope his headache goes away soon - my difficult child had a migrane yesterday - first major one in about one year.
  3. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    I can't believe that teacher! Apology or not, that is totally uncalled for. I would also report the teacher. Students wouldn't be allowed to get away with that and neither should a teacher.
  4. shad16_12

    shad16_12 Member

    I agree that id be fuming mad about the teacher...she's totally out of line. My son is in grade 10 and is 4' 10" and 113 lbs...The kids are always razzing him but he's come to the point where he's accepted it as just joking around and jokes around himself as he looks at the positives in it...Its like he beats them to the punch and takes away their ammunition.

    The teacher definitely should not be contributing to this tho...and gathering allies against him to block him in...thats horrible. She's creating a mob mentality in the classroom and your son must feel like he's being attacked. Let the principal know what is going on and if he dismisses it...go above him. Sonja
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I would definitely cmplain to the principal about that teacher's behavior. She was completely out of line!! It is one thing to feel that the kids are picking on you--but when the teacher is in on it? Uggghhh!!

    Very unprofessional.

  6. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I agree, make a complaint!!! How dare that teacher do that to him!!! I mean, it's cool that the teacher wants to have a little fun with the kids but I think she went way too far. Your poor son!

    I am so sorry. I hope your day gets better. :)
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    KJS -

    I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. When Dude was in 1st grade his teacher had just had twins, had post partum depression, was eating grits every night to suvive and had a husband that was cheating on her. She was also 23. I was 32. Big deal....right?

    This teacher was just absurd in her discipline techniques. Dude came home nearly every day with a "BAD" note. She chastised him in front of the entire class, put him down, and then in the middle of a lesson scooted his desk next to hers and turned it to the wall so he couldnt' see the class. ALL very bad and inappropriate measures.

    The day he came home crying because she had made fun of him for being short? I went to school the next morning. I' 5'8 1/2 - in biker boots nearly 6' tall. I put on my boots, my full lenth duster, didn't comb my hair and had last nights "crow" style makeup from bartending covering my eyes. I was angry, tired, and now had to deal with this.

    I walked into the school and remember kids just parting out of my way - I had that walk going on - that I'm going to give you a piece of my mind walk. I looked scary. I went into her classroom, and started out very nicely - then I kept on and on with her until she cried. I berated her with no one in the room - I had shut the door and just let her have it. Then when she finally broke down in tears - I asked her "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE THE BIGGER PERSON COME IN HERE AND PICK ON THE SMALLER PERSON?" - she just cried. I didn't care. I told her further if she ever made my son cry again - I would have her job. I left - and didn't know if she got the message or not.

    I went back about a week later for open house and she pretended like nothing happened. I was amazed. I think it was then I knew she was mentally ill, but it would be YEARS before she would admit to me at a PTA meeting that she had post-partum depression and all the other things going on. I told her - that day I came in? I was furious. She said it scared her to pieces, but ....when I said HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE TH BIGGER PRESON COME IN AND PICK ON THE SMALLER ONE it changed how she redirected her class. Because it did NOT feel good, and she did NOT like how I made her feel.

    -she's lucky. In those days had she smarted off to me instead of cry I'd probably have gone to jail for smacking her.

    I would not hesitate to go to the principal and stand up for my kid - and yeah I get the HS thing - but that teacher COULD also have mental problems - and someone needs to make her boss aware of it.

    Either that or auntie star can come there and hang out with her nephew for a few days - I don't blame him for not wanting to go back - ugh.
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Grrrr. Now My partner is not at work so I am alone, no chance of leaving. husband got a ride to work from easy child because easy child had to be in court at 9:30. difficult child calls my cell phone to tell me his head hurts so bad he threw up. I work in a data center and sometimes I get a signal and sometimes I do not. I asked why he was calling my cell. He said he is not allowed to call long distance from the school phone. !!

    So I cannot leave. husband doesn't have a car. easy child is in court (on his way) Call neighbor man - he just took two ambien ten minutes ago he can't drive. I finally called a neighbor who he gets a ride with in the morning. The oldest boy drives them to school, he is a senior. Anyway, mom was just leaving for work and said she would pick him up. Way out of her way. Like ten miles round trip.
    difficult child gets home and I told him I did get the Tylenol#3 yesterday. He thanked me. Took one. easy child called to say when he got home difficult child was laying on the floor next to Chloe crying because his head hurts so bad.

    Good news - after a year of going to court, they dismissed the charges against easy child because they cannot locate the bar owner and he has not shown up for any court dates.
  9. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    That teacher is a DISGRACE.

    She cannot get away with this. If difficult child jeered her llike that what would

    I f they cannot support the students completellythey ShOULD NOT be in the role of teacher

    She should be disciplined severely. It is a 'she' isnt it? Whatever..
    it goes for whoever
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry that difficult child had to experience abuse from a teacher. I'm steaming mad just reading this and would be making sure there was a written complaint filed-in no way was this o.k. for her to do!

    I'm sorry for difficult child's headaches, I really wish they could figure them out once and for all. Hugs.
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Before filing a complaint with the Principle, I would have a meeting with the teacher and explain to the teacher that you will not put up with this. I would tell the teacher that if she does anything like that again, you will file a formal complaint with the board of education. If you report her before having this talk with her, things may end up getting worse for difficult child. I agree....teachers need to be a little more sensitive, especially in this day and age. She was way out of line.

    Has difficult child seen a neurologist for those headaches?