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Bad dream about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 558062" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>It sure helps to write about what is bothering me and then have an instant gratification of support, ideas, options and understanding................thank you. Your responses helped me to move through this dream and the ensuing feelings and come out the other side. I so appreciate all of you.</p><p></p><p>SuZir, thanks, yes, I am 'going deeper' and at the same time becoming more accustomed to living in this situation.</p><p></p><p>CJ, thank you, yes, I've prayed and prayed for her chaos to stop, I've never prayed for anything as much or as fervently as I have for my difficult child. And, there <em>is</em> a lot coming up................I <em>have</em> thought at times that her suffering will only end with death and yet I so hope that isn't true.... but it may be. I'm not having second thoughts about any boundary setting, I feel relatively clear about that. </p><p></p><p>ThreeShadows, thanks, yes, I can see the positive healing aspects of the dream today, as I am less impacted by the visual of my daughter writhing in psychic pain.............and focusing more on the peaceful look on her face as the dream ended. I am usually more capable of seeing dreams as gifts from the subconscious, however, this one was a shocker!</p><p></p><p>Nancy, yes wouldn't it be wonderful if we could simply wipe them clean of all the gook and have them be well, sigh...............</p><p></p><p>SO and I were talking about all of this yesterday, we took a drive and a long walk and casually started talking about this last year and what it was like for us with my difficult child. It feels that the dream was a representation of what I have done in the last 10 months. We talked about all my desperate attempts at trying to "wipe away the darkness" from my daughter's life and the agony and fear that produced inside of me. It was like nothing else I've ever experienced, to go through all of that, step by step and then to get to a point where I was absolutely certain that there was nothing else I could do. I don't know if my difficult child will ever be able to get to a peaceful state, but after I exhausted every possible avenue of support that I could offer my difficult child, a certain calm began for me,........ which was surprising and has, thankfully, lasted. I did everything I could possibly do, and then I let go. And, then peace began to reign in my life. I wish more then anything else that I could do something to give my difficult child that peace, but I can't. I can give it to myself. And, I have. So, today, the dream has a different meaning and impact, it feels more like a conclusion, a recognition of what has transpired and the peace and comfort that comes when you've done all you can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 558062, member: 13542"] It sure helps to write about what is bothering me and then have an instant gratification of support, ideas, options and understanding................thank you. Your responses helped me to move through this dream and the ensuing feelings and come out the other side. I so appreciate all of you. SuZir, thanks, yes, I am 'going deeper' and at the same time becoming more accustomed to living in this situation. CJ, thank you, yes, I've prayed and prayed for her chaos to stop, I've never prayed for anything as much or as fervently as I have for my difficult child. And, there [I]is[/I] a lot coming up................I [I]have[/I] thought at times that her suffering will only end with death and yet I so hope that isn't true.... but it may be. I'm not having second thoughts about any boundary setting, I feel relatively clear about that. ThreeShadows, thanks, yes, I can see the positive healing aspects of the dream today, as I am less impacted by the visual of my daughter writhing in psychic pain.............and focusing more on the peaceful look on her face as the dream ended. I am usually more capable of seeing dreams as gifts from the subconscious, however, this one was a shocker! Nancy, yes wouldn't it be wonderful if we could simply wipe them clean of all the gook and have them be well, sigh............... SO and I were talking about all of this yesterday, we took a drive and a long walk and casually started talking about this last year and what it was like for us with my difficult child. It feels that the dream was a representation of what I have done in the last 10 months. We talked about all my desperate attempts at trying to "wipe away the darkness" from my daughter's life and the agony and fear that produced inside of me. It was like nothing else I've ever experienced, to go through all of that, step by step and then to get to a point where I was absolutely certain that there was nothing else I could do. I don't know if my difficult child will ever be able to get to a peaceful state, but after I exhausted every possible avenue of support that I could offer my difficult child, a certain calm began for me,........ which was surprising and has, thankfully, lasted. I did everything I could possibly do, and then I let go. And, then peace began to reign in my life. I wish more then anything else that I could do something to give my difficult child that peace, but I can't. I can give it to myself. And, I have. So, today, the dream has a different meaning and impact, it feels more like a conclusion, a recognition of what has transpired and the peace and comfort that comes when you've done all you can do. [/QUOTE]
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