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General Parenting
Bad night (and last few days)
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 543034" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well, been there, done that, bigbear. I don't know if this operates for you, but I think what often happens for me is that my son will be relatively well-behaved, relatively co-operative and pleasant and it lulls me into this false sense of security (even though it shouldn't). This means that when it all falls apart again, and he loses it or behaves like a difficult, obnoxious brat, I am all the more disappointed and impatient and confused - part of my confusion is read in my stressful, unskilful reaction. Could this be partly what was going on for you? </p><p>I think in your case, I would talk about it with her... perhaps you have already done this. Explain your feelings of frustration and anger briefly and apologise. I feel this is important where we are dealing with kids who have great trouble controlling themselves - we need to show that lack of control happens, but we know it is not the best way and we are able to show that we are sorry when we mess up also. This also gets round the confusion that is created when we get angry at a chid's loss of control by losing control ourselves. </p><p>IT ISN'T EASY. It's hard but you will forgive yourself and move onto the next challenge and meet it. I hope your trip away is okay... are there things that can be done to help her prepare for the separation?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 543034, member: 11227"] Well, been there, done that, bigbear. I don't know if this operates for you, but I think what often happens for me is that my son will be relatively well-behaved, relatively co-operative and pleasant and it lulls me into this false sense of security (even though it shouldn't). This means that when it all falls apart again, and he loses it or behaves like a difficult, obnoxious brat, I am all the more disappointed and impatient and confused - part of my confusion is read in my stressful, unskilful reaction. Could this be partly what was going on for you? I think in your case, I would talk about it with her... perhaps you have already done this. Explain your feelings of frustration and anger briefly and apologise. I feel this is important where we are dealing with kids who have great trouble controlling themselves - we need to show that lack of control happens, but we know it is not the best way and we are able to show that we are sorry when we mess up also. This also gets round the confusion that is created when we get angry at a chid's loss of control by losing control ourselves. IT ISN'T EASY. It's hard but you will forgive yourself and move onto the next challenge and meet it. I hope your trip away is okay... are there things that can be done to help her prepare for the separation? [/QUOTE]
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